


A Broken Act

by iStygianEmpress (iDarkEmpress)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Actor Eren, Actors AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Director Erwin Smith, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Past Lovers, Top Eren Yeager, actor Levi, smut in later chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2018-12-31 05:44:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 88,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12125817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iDarkEmpress/pseuds/iStygianEmpress
Summary: Levi Ackerman has only one dream—to be a world renowned actor. With his looks, talent and not-so-great personality, it wouldn't be that hard to snag one role in the newest film that's searching for new faces and talents. However, as he makes his way towards stardom, someone from his past will return, throwing his world off the kilter, and Levi would have to face the past that he wants to forget for his dream that's already within his reach.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here I go again, bringing in another EreRi fanfic (that would probably take hundreds of years for each chapter to be updated--but let's not talk about that). This will be an actors AU because there's not enough works about that and I'm dying to read some but I cannot find many so I decided to just fuck it and write.
> 
> There will many inaccuracies (I'm not really aware of what's behind the screen or show business) so please forgive me. I just want to write about these two beautiful creatures.
> 
> Also, this isn't proofread. I am a lazy bastard.
> 
> Enjoy.

 

I have never been a patient man. My patience is thinner than a sheet of paper, a sheet of thin glass that's easily breakable even by a small force. I've also never been tolerant, at least not when it comes to bullshit.

So when Hange called me at four in the goddamn morning, only one hour after I got myself to sleep, to say that I was pissed beyond belief was a goddamn understatement. I already knew the moment I opened my eyes that my day is already ruined.

Muttering profanities under my breath, I reached for my phone that's currently resting on top of my nightstand, ready to blow Hange off. It's still too fucking early for them to ruin my goddamn day.

Squinting my eyes against the glaring lights coming off my phone, I tapped the green button on the screen with a little more force than necessary. Then I placed my phone next to my ear, ready to tell Hange to fuck off.

_"Goooo-"_

"What the fuck do you want at four in the fucking morning, you bastard?" I practically growled at them, ready to lash out and tell them that it's not fucking polite to call someone this early in the fucking morning.

Hearing them laugh made me want to be able to get inside my phone and go at the other end to punch their laugh out of them.  _"I take it that you have a good morning too, Shorty."_

"Why did you call? I just got one hour of sleep before you cut my slumber. You better be calling me for a good reason."

 _"Okay, so I've been surfing through the internet just now and noticed that I received an email. It was from the Smith Pictures."_ Smith Pictures? Isn't that the film studio that's going to produce the film that I auditioned for last, last week?

Well, that caught my interest.

I hummed, urging them to go on. "What about it, Shitty Glasses?"

_"Didn't you check your email, Shorty?"_

I shook my head even though they wouldn't see it. "No, it's been a week since I last did. What about it?"

They chuckled, probably hearing the sudden interest in my voice. " _Interested now, eh?"_

"Cut out with the bullshit and tell me what you fucking want."

 _"Okay, okay. Don't get your panties in a twist."_  They cleared their throat before continuing.  _"So I went to read it and I think I got the best news in my life."_

"Hange." My voice came out stern, sounding something akin to warning.

_"I'm already in the best part, Shorty. Calm down. So I read the email and damn, I couldn't believe it at first. I never doubted your talent, but to think that it was your first audition ever, and it was for a big film, I thought that I fell asleep in front of my laptop and that I'm dreaming and--"_

"Hange. Just tell me the reason why you fucking called, goddamn it."

I heard them squealed from the other end, clearly ignoring the irritation in my voice.  _"I want to congratulate you!"_

My eyebrows furrowed. Why are they congratulating me? 

Putting the call on loudspeaker, I rolled onto my back, spreading my limbs out on the mattress. I stared at the ceiling above me for a minute, silence filling the room. 

"And you're congratulating me for?"

My ears met nothing but silence again. I was waiting for Hange to speak but when I heard nothing, the exhaustion weighing my body became worse the longer the silence droned on. My eyes got heavier, wanting me to go to sleep, but Hange spoke again, catching my attention.

_"Are you sure that you don't know?"_

I was about to reply  _no_  but decided against it, taking my time to actually think despite the hazy state my mind is currently in.

Hange called me, telling me that they received an email from Smith Productions about the film that I auditioned a role for, saying that it was the best news they've gotten in their life. Went on about how they couldn't believe it...

...and now they're congratulating me after reading it.

My eyes widen at the realization, my hopes rocketing up the ceiling. I sat up, feeling my heart beat wildly in my chest, my breath coming out heavy. 

It can't be true, right? I shouldn't get my hopes up. I don't want to set my hopes up just for it to crash and burn sooner rather than later.

"You're shitting me." My voice came out sounding a little breathless, maybe even hopeful. I was doing my best to keep my breathing controlled but with the fast beating of my heart, it was practically impossible to do so.

_"No I'm not! I told you, Levi. You're going to get it!"_

For the first time in a long time, I felt the corner of my lips tugged upwards, forming a smile. The joy I felt was uncontainable and I could barely hold myself from screaming.

_"Levi? You still there?"_

Rubbing my face using my hands, I picked my phone up and getiing it off the loudspeak before I pressed it against my face once again. "Yeah, I just-- I can't fucking believe it. I actually got in?"

They laughed, sounding obnoxious with all the snorts that came with it, but I was able to ignore it.  _"You bet your pretty ass on it, Shorty."_

"Holy fucking shit." That was the only thing I was able to say, my mind not having the ability to grasp the news, leaving me speechless.

_"Holy fucking shit it is. This is what you get for not checking your email."_

"Whatever, Four Eyes. Is that all you need to say?" I laid back down on my bed, shifting until I found a comfortable place with my head propped on the pillow.

_"You need to go the meeting they're going to hold for the casts and staffs. I'll send you the address later."_

"Fine. Now, let me get some sleep."

I heard them laugh again. "Okay then."

Before they ended the call, I said something that I rarely say to anyone.

"Thank you, Shitty Glasses."

I can imagine the shock look on their face and the smile that took over their lips when they didn't speak for a few seconds."Have a nice sleep, Shorty." I ended the call then closed my eyes before taking a deep breath. 

Am I already good enough to get a role in the film? What if as we film it, they start to think that I wasn't good enough? That I just got in because of pure luck?

I shook my head. Fuck that. I really should stop over thinking. I've wanted this since I was a kid. I didn't do theatrics for nothing. Maybe I should start having more faith in my fucking self.

Clearing my head, I let my exhaustion carry me to sleep with a small smile lingering on my lips.

*****

After more than two hours more of sleep, I found myself lying awake on my bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few more minutes before getting up, knowing that I won't be able to go back to sleep again. Dragging my feet along the cold floor, I went to the bathroom to clean myself up before going downstairs to have some tea.

When I reached the kitchen, I saw Isabel sitting by the counter, her hair still a mess. It was sticking out in all directions, looking like if a lizard fell on it, it would die. I shook my head as I made towards her, resting my hand atop of her head before ruffling her hair.

"Oh! Big bro! You're already awake?"

I always wondered how the hell Izzy manage to sound so fucking energy at seven o'clock in the morning. No one can sound so energetic this early but she always proved me wrong. No one except her, at least.

"No I'm not. I just sleepwalked to get here."

She rolled her eyes. "Ha-ha. Funny, Levi."

I patted her head before I went to grab a cup for my tea. Isabel already started to boil some water so I just have to wait for it. Placing a tea bag into my cup, I took it and placed it near the stove before I went to the counter to sit with Izzy.

"Where's Farlan?"

"Searching for me?" Farlan entered the kitchen, a smile already settled on his face. His light blond hair was already kept clean, unlike Izzy's, but he's still wearing his pajamas. He made his way to the fridge, opening it before he looked for something.

"Hey, hey, Farlan. Are you going to cook something for us today?" Izzy was practically bouncing on her seat as she watched Farlan.

Without looking at us, Farlan answered. "Yes, I will. Are you okay with pancakes?"

Isabel slammed her hands on the counter, beaming. "Yes! Your pancakes are the best, Far."

Farlan chuckled, already used to Izzy's antics. He took out some eggs, milk and butter before closing the fridge. Opening one of the cabinets, he also took out the flour and other shits he will need before he started preparing.

The water is already boiling so Izzy and I started preparing our drinks, also preparing Farlan's cup of coffee. The smell of Farlan's cooking already started permeating the room, making Izzy's mouth water.

"I'm sooo hu--" She was cut off by the rumbling sound coming off her stomach, making us silent. Her face turned red, her lips forming into a straight line as she stared at us with wide eyes.

Farlan's laugh cut the silence between the three of us, his voice thundering through the room. He abandoned the spatula on the counter in favor of clutching his stomach, laughing so hard that tears started to form in the corner of his eyes. Isabel was glaring at him, face still red from embarrassment.

"Goddamn, Iz. You don't even have to say it. Your stomach said it all."

"Shut up, Far. I hate you."

Farlan continued laughing, ignoring the glare that Izzy sent his way. I rolled my eyes at them, a small smirk on my lips as I reached for my cup of tea. Farlan resumed cooking our breakfast, face alight and obviously in a good mood. Isabel's color went back to normal as she took a sip from her cup.

Minutes later, Farlan placed a plate with a towering set of pancakes in front of us, looking and smelling delectable. Isabel took some and dug into it the instant it met her plate and poured syrup on it. I also took some and placed it on my plate, proceeding to eat it after pouring a little amount of syrup. Farlan joined us moments later, the three of us engaging into a small talk.

"Studying in a university is stressing me out." I cringed as I watched her talk with her mouth full.

"Izzy," she looked at me when I called her. "Stop talking when your mouth is full. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Swallowing whatever food left in her mouth, she grinned at me. "Well, sorry." She cleared her throat before trying to mimick my usual expression, her eyebrows furrowing as she tried to look stoic, in which she clearly failed in doing. "You're already eighteen years old. You should start acting like a lady and stop acting like a brat." Then in a second, her grin returned. "So, how's it, Big Bro?"  
  
Before I could answer, Farlan talked. "That's nice, Iz. Just a bit more and you'll be able to mimick Levi."

She laughed. "Well, it's hard to copy him, but I'll do better next time."

"Just stop talking and eat your goddamn food." Both of them laughed before they started eating their food again. I did the same too, putting the squared-cut pieces into my mouth.

When I was near from finishing my food, my phone rang, signaling me that someone texted. Taking it from its place in my pocket, I pressed the power button and opened the message.

"Who's it from?" Tearing my eyes away from my phone, I looked at Farlan who's looking at me with a curious gaze.

"Hange." His eyes narrowed minimally at the mention of their name, eyebrows furrowing lightly.

"Why did they say?"

"Farlan." Isabel looked at her warningly. "Stop that."

"It's fine, Iz." Isabel looked at me for a few seconds before she sighed. Shifting my gaze towards Farlan, I saw that he's still wearing the same look he has earlier. "They called me earlier. Apparently, Smith Pictures emailed them for the movie I auditioned for two weeks ago and they told me I got the role. They just texted me the address where I need to go later."

His eyebrows furrowed deeper. "What did you say?"

I sighed before I reiterated what I said. "I got the role for the movie I auditioned for two weeks ago. Hange just texted me where I need to go later for the staff and cast meeting."

He clearly wasn't pleased with my news. Isabel, however, got one of her biggest smile on her lips.

"That's great, Big Bro!"

I smiled at her a little, glad that she took the news well. "Thanks, Iz."

"No it's not great, Isabel."

Turning my gaze away from Isabel, I looked at him, a blank look taking over my face. "Stop it, Farlan. I don't want to have this talk right now."

"Fine." He huffed, taking his cup into his hand before drinking. I saw Isabel shook her head in the corner of my eyes, drinking what's left in her cup before standing up.

"I need to go. I have class." She looked at Farlan, eyes narrowed. "And stop bugging him, Far. Let him do what he wants. Can't you just be happy for him?" With that she took her plate and cup with her, putting it in the sink before leaving without looking back at us.

Eating what's left in my plate, I also stood up taking what I used with me. I made my way to the sink, deciding to clean up the dishes. While doing so, I felt Farlan made his way behind me, standing still as he took a deep breath.

"Levi..."

"What? You're going to lecture me that I shouldn't go? That going for it wouldn't be a good idea?" Irritated, I let out a heavy breath before turning around the meet his gaze. "Isn't that what you're going to fucking say? "

"Look, Levi. I'm only telling you this for your own good. If you're doing this just to fulfill your mother's dream, then don't do it. What if acting isn't for you?"

I glared at him. Who does he fucking think he is to say that?

Jabbing my finger at his chest, I met his blue eyes, my own pair narrowed at him. "Don't you fucking dare include my mother in this. I'm doing this because I want to, and you don't get to have a say in it."

Without waiting for his reply, I walked out, ignoring him when he called my name. I don't have time for his shits.

My footsteps were heavy as I made my way back to my room, wanting to get away from Farlan as soon as possible. When I reached my room, I slammed the door behind me, my feet continuously threading its way to my bed.

Sitting down on my bed, I took my phone out and sent a short reply to Hange. Glancing at the nightstand, my eyes met the sight of my mother, smiling as she was taken the picture. I stared at it, suddenly feeling the hollow yet heavy void in my chest, something that found its place there since the death of my mother.

_I know that I'm doing this for you, but I'm also doing this for myself, right?_

I hate it whenever Farlan assumes that I'm doing this because I got no choice but to do it for my mother. I love acting, and I enjoy doing every second of the times where I am able to perform. I won't let him stop me from doing the only thing that I fucking love to do. 

I was cut off my thinking when my phone rang, another message from Hange flashing on the screen.

 **Hange:** You want me to go there with you?

 **Levi:** If you want to, then you can go with me.

I feel like I would need some company later.

 **Hange:** Okay then, I'll pick you up later at 1.

 **Levi:** Okay. I'll see you later.

Tossing my phone to my bed, I stood up. Maybe I should go to the gym to loose myself up. I can feel the nerves setting its teeth on me.

Grabbing the bag that I always use whenever I go to the gym, I packed up some clothes and grabbed my keys. I went down to the kitchen to get my tumbler, filling it up with water before I made my way out of the house. Before I was able to get out, Farlan saw me and called me, halting my steps.

"Where are you going?"

"Gym."

I was about to take another step when Farlan ran to me and took hold of my arm. I looked back to look at him with a glare, barely able to keep the spite out of my voice. "What?"

"Can we talk about what happened earlier?"

"Then what? Fight again? No fucking thanks. I have some business to finish."

I pulled my arm away from him, not bothering to look back as I left the house and got into my car.

*****

Hours later, I am already a panting mess after all the things I've done in the gym. I just stopped running, not batting an eye on how many miles I've ran before I turned the treadmill off, my run turning into a jog before it turned into a walk then stop. Ignoring the looks I'm getting from some of the people inside the gym, I drank what's left in my tumbler before I went to get my bag and took a quick shower to remove the sweat on my skin.

After that I went home, changing my clothes into a more formal looking ones for the meeting. I wore a black button up shirt, jeans and loafers, styling my hair to its usual look. Deeming myself okay, I went down and sat on the couch in the living room, waiting for Hange's arrival.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard a beep coming from the outside and a text message from Hange. Knowing that it was them, I went out without looking at the text, getting inside the black car that Hange always use.

They were grinning at me, obviously excited. Seriously, who is the one who got a role? Maybe they did. They look more fucking excited than me.

"So here comes Mr. Actor." Cringing at what they said, I glared at them.

"Shut up. That sounds nasty as fuck."

They laughed. "Whatever you say. Now, let's go there and meet some of your fellow casts."

The ride to the venue was long, at least for me. I felt nervous, but for what reason, I didn't know. My mind was blocking out what Hange was saying, my mind reeling with possibilities and what ifs. I didn't even notice that we had arrived until Hange nudged me.

"I know you're nervous, but I think it will be fine. Now let's go inside or else we'll be wait because of your overthinking."

Nodding, I went out of the car, closing the cardoor behind me. My nerves grew the nearer we get to the building, and I almost felt like passing out when we went inside the elevator to get to the tenth floor where the meeting will happen.

"I can feel you shaking from where I'm standing, Levi." Hange bumped me, their voice teasing. "Don't pass out now."

"I won't." It came out faster than I want to, sounding defensive. I sighed as Hange laughed, wanting to get off the damn elevator and reach the room where the fucking meeting will happen.

When the elevator's door opened, both of us went out, our feet silently treading the hallway as we follow the instruction the receptionist gave us earlier. As I look around the place, I saw something that I didn't expect. Or something that I  _didn't_ ever want to see.

I felt my blood ran cold, the air in my lungs suddenly leaving my lungs. When I looked around again, I wasn't able to see it anywhere. It couldn't be, right? The world's too big for that to happen.

Still, no matter how hard I tried to deny, the logical part of my mind was telling me that it  _is_ possible, and that the world is too small and shitty to let that happen.

I continued walking, my mind preoccupied with what I saw, bumping into Hange's back when they stopped walking. They turned around, a look of worry on their face when they saw me. "Levi? Are you okay? You look so pale."

 _I'm not._ "No, I'm fine." I looked around, noticing the room where currently standing in front of. "Is this the room?"

Hange nodded, still wearing the same look, not believing the lie I said earlier. "Yes it is. But are you really okay Levi? We can excuse you if you don't feel well."

I shook my head, letting out a sigh. "Look, Shitty Glasses. I'm  _fine._ Stop worrying over nothing."

They nodded, reluctant. "Well, if you say so. I'll be waiting for you here. You can go inside."

"Thanks." Taking in a deep breath, I went inside, noticing that there are already quite many people sitting on the floor. On the floor because the place didn't have any couches--or seats, in fact. It was a dance studio from what I can tell with the walls covered in large mirrors and the floor made of smooth and polished wood, the bright lights hung fropm above made me blind for a second.

I sat down at the corner, looking around as we waited for whoever we were waiting for. Soon enough, a bald man came in with a brunet guy trailing behind him. My lungs almost wanted to stop breathing when I saw him. Said guy went to sit beside a raven haired girl wearing a scarf while the bald man stood in front of us, smiling.

"I am Dot Pixis, and I was asked to be here by Mr. Smith since he has an important emergency meeting to attend. You can call me Mr. Pixis or Pixis, whichever you're comfortable with. For now, I'll be the one to enlighten you about the film and let you guys know each other, as well as the expectations we have in you."

And as Pixis continued to talk, I couldn't help but feel that there's so much more coming.


	2. Act II

After giving us a brief description about what the movie is all about (which we already knew because who would fucking audition for a movie without knowing what it will be about?), they told us to introduce ourselves, considering that we were almost composed of new faces. I internally groaned when I heard that. What is this? First day of school?

The introductory part was mundane, people just telling their names and other shits that I didn't bother to remember. I mean, there's no fucking way that those random shits would help me in the future.

Sighing for the umpteenth time that hour, I was more than glad when only a few people has to speak, but unfortunately, I was one of them. I watched the others stood up and put on their big (but sometimes obviously fake) smiles, stating their names like what the others did before. It went on like that and finally, there are only three of us left before it ends.

A raven haired girl wearing a red scarf stood up, looking indifferent. She was wearing a stoic look, eyes hard and sharp. She didn't smile unlike the others and went on introducing herself.

"Mikasa Ackerman, 23. I've been acting since I was in high school. I'm looking forward to work with you." Her look and the tone of her voice stated otherwise.

When she sat down, a tall brunet stood up, wearing a small forced smile on his face. It does look fake and I didn't doubt that it was. He doesn't look genuinely happy to be here, looking bored and as if he will bolt out of the fucking room the moment he has the chance to. That didn't make the women in the room to whisper to one another though.

Looking around, he started talking. "I'm Eren Yeager, 23 years old. I was a part of the drama club and theatre since I was in middle-" he stopped talking when he saw me, eyes widening and mouth left open. The others got confused at the sudden action, looking around to know who he was looking at, making me look away quickly.

Getting over his shock, he cleared his throat, getting back to business. "I was a part of the drama club and theatre since I was in middle school. Let's do our best to make this film great."

He sat down after that, leaving me the only one to introduce myself. I stood up, making sure to keep my introduction short. "Levi Ackerman, 23."

Ignoring the expectant look the others gave me, I sat down. Are they expecting me to tell more? Well, they're mistaken.

Clearing his throat, Pixis caught our attention back to him. "I hope that that helped you know each other a little bit. Okay, now that we were through with that part, we will give you the script so you can start practicing it." From that they started calling out names then giving out the script. It didn't take long until we all have our copies. "The shoot will start next week on Monday, and Erwin will be there for sure. That's it for today."

After Pixis left, the others in the room started leaving too but not without bidding those they talked to goodbye. I only stood up when there were only few left and made my way out, not giving the others a glance. Hange was sitting on an array of seat a few feet away from the room, looking busy as they scrolled through their phone, eyes fixated on the screen.

After I traipsed my way to them, they didn't notice my presence even though I was standing next to them, too engaged at their phone. Sighing, I rolled up the script that I am holding and hit their head, finally catching their attention. Looking up with their right hand on their head, they grinned at me then stood up.

"How's it?"

"Boring. Let's just go home."

I started walking and Hange immediately followed, looking down at me with a curious look. "Boring? Why is that?"

I rolled my eyes. "We just introduced ourselves like we're some damn elementary schoolers and told us what the film is all about which we already fucking know. The only thing that happened that I remotely liked is when they gave us the script."

Hange laughed before nudging my shoulder, pulling out an irritated sigh from me. "Don't worry, Captain Shrimp. Once the taping starts I'm pretty sure that things will get interesting."

With my attention fixed at Hange, I didn't notice that there was a person walking towards us, casuing me to bump into them. I lost my balance, but hell, it isn't surprising since I bumped into a hard chest.

Someone grabbed my arm, helping me get back to my feet. The hand belonged to the guy who bumped me. Once I steadied myself, I looked at who it was and was surprised to see Eren.

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean too bump you. I wasn't looking--" He stopped talking when he looked at me, obviously caught off guard as I was. His turquoise eyes widen at the sight of me and slowly, the grip of his hand on my arm loosened before he completely retracted it. I was able to compose myself quickly, the surprised look on my face immediately replaced by a blank one.

His eyes returned to normal, the look of surprise also gone. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't looking to where I'm going."

I shrugged, the feeling of wanting to get out of the place amplifying. "It's fine. I wasn't paying attention too."

He continued staring at me, looking as if he couldn't believe that I was standing in front of him. I couldn't blame him. I also didn't want to believe that he was in front of me, blocking my way when all I want to do is get out and go home.

Figuring out that he wouldn't be moving any sooner, I side stepped and walked past him, my feet padding through the hall in a hurried manner. Hange followed me without any word but I can practically feel the confusion radiating off them.

"What's--"

"Levi!" I quickened my pace more than I already did, not looking back to where the voice came, knowing that it came from no one but Eren. It was proved futile, however, when I felt him grabbed my hand to stop me from walking away. "Levi, why are you in such a hurry?"

I tried to yank my arm away from him, but he didn't let go. He just tightened his grip more. "Fuck off, Yeager. I have plenty of things to do." I glared at him, keeping my eyes staring directly into his in hopes of intimidating him.

Hange was standing beside me, looking back and forth to the two of us. "What--"

"I just wanna talk to you. It's been years since I last saw you."

"Wait, wait, wait," Hange cut off, raisng both of their hands. "I'm here, y'know? Unless you cannot see me. What's with the two of you anyway?" They looked at me before turning their gaze to Eren. "You know Levi?"

Eren nodded, his hand still gripping my arm. "Yes. He was my--"

"Friend." I finished the sentence for him. Hange turned their head to look at me again. "More like ex-friend."

"Okay." Hange dragged the 'o', and I knew that my answer sparked their curiousity--which is not good.

Eren, who stayed silent for a minute, replied. "Yeah. He was my friend. It has been a long time since I talked to him."

Hange nodded at his response. "I see. Then why don't you talk to him, Levi? He is your friend, after all."

" _Was,_ Hange," I snapped, my tone sharp causing the two of them to flinch. "He  _was_  my friend. Not anymore."

Eren squeezed my arm. "Levi, please. I just want to talk."

"About what?"

"About what? The past. Everything. I want to catch up with you."

I scoffed, yanking my arm away from him, this time successfully. "The past? There's nothing to tak about the past, Yeager."

"I want to make it up to you, Levi. Please. I don't want the past to hinder our work. If we won't get along well, then the taping will turn to shit."

"I won't let it affect our work."

"If that's how you treat me then what do you think the scenes will look like?"

"Why are you so fucking persistent about this?"

Eren sighed, running a hand through his hair. I just noticed it now, but his hair was longer than now than it was before, the ends already reaching his shoulder. "Levi, you and I are the lead actors. We wil act as lovers. _Lovers_ , Levi. Do you think it'll work out if you look and act like you'll bite my head off everytime you see me?"

It felt like the world has stopped the moment I head the word 'lovers'. Lovers? We'll act as lovers? "What did you say?"

"Didn't you know? The two of us got the lead roles. In the film, we are lovers, Levi. If you treat me like that, it will surely get in the way when we start taping."

"Really?" Hange pulled both of our attention with their sudden outburst. "Holy cow, guys. You two would look  _so_  good together."

"Shut up, Hange."

"Thank you," Eren said, sounding happy yet sad at the same time. I ignored it, focusing back to the topic.

"Are you sure about what you're fucking talking about, Eren?"

He nodded. "Of course, I am. You think I would joke about that? Haven't you read the email? It's stated there. I thought that the 'Levi Ackerman' they were talking about wasn't you at first until I saw you here."

"No, I didn't." So it's fucking true? Not only do I have to work with him, but I have to act as his lover?

I always thought that fate was a shitty thing, always throwing shits at whoever is unlucky enough to meet it. But this just made me realize that I still haven't seen its worse before. Only now.

Fuck.

"Levi, are you okay?"

"Yes." No, I'm not. Same goes to this fucking shitfest. "Look, Eren. I don't want to talk to you. Nothing's going to fucking happen even if I waste my whole damn day with you. Now just let me be, and let's just be fucking professional and don't let our personal life interfere with work."

"Fine. I won't force you if you don't want to, but here." He took out his wallet and pulled a small black card. "Text me or call me if you change your mind. I really want to make it up to you."

"Eren!" Eren looked back to where the voice came from. I saw the girl he's with earlier, Mikasa, and together with her is--

"Annie, Mikasa." I looked at the two of them but inevitably my eyes was fixed on Annie. She is almost still the same as before. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, her blue eyes still as cold and hard as steel. She was wearing the same blank look as she did years before.

That was until she saw me.

Her eyes widen, which is a very rare sight. She faltered on her steps, looking at me as if she just saw a ghost. Eren, who's standing in front of me, was radiating nervousness.

"Levi, I didn't know that you're here." Annie's voice, as I could remember, sounds just as blank as the look she always wear on her face unless you caught her interest. But even then, the change is minimal. However, her voice now sounded a surprised, which is very unusual.

I didn't reply. What the fuck am I going to reply if ever I did? ' _Yeah, I am. Surprise, surprise, fuckers'_? I'd rather not.

When I didn't reply, the place was suddenly filled with silence, to the point where you can hear yourself breathe. Eren was the first to speak again. "I told you to wait for me outside." 

"You were taking so long so we decided to search for you." Mikasa looked at Eren, then to me, before she looked at Eren again. "You know him?"

"Yeah, we went to the same high school. He's my friend."

"He  _was_ my friend. Not anymore." It was the second time I said those things.

The atmosphere became heavy after I said those words. Annie looked uninterested again like she always was, but her eyes was unable to hide the fact that she was conflicted.

"So you two," Eren and Annie both put their eyes on me. "Are you two still together?"

I didn't know why, but they looked like they need to have a trip to the comfort room and take a shit when they heard that. Why? There aren't any reason for them to react like that.

They're taking too long to answer. Is it hard to answer yes or no? "So?"

"Yes." Both of them spoke at the same time.

One of my eyebrows raised a little, a smirk forming on my lips. "I see. How many years are you two together now? Four years? Five?"

"Four." Annie was the one who spoke. "We didn't get together until the second semester of first year college."

"You guys knew each other?" Fuck, I forgot that Hange was here. They must've been lost at what's happening.

"Yes. Levi, Annie and I has known each other before." Eren stepped aside, unblocking Hange from the girls' sight. "Annie, Mikasa, this is Hange. Levi's friend."

Hange grinned at them. "It's nice to meet you. I feel that this wouldn't be the first and last time that I would see the two of you."

The two of them nodded, muttering their greetings back at Hange.

"We should go now," I said, placing the card Eren gave me into my pocket. "We have things that we need to do."

"Levi, about what we talked about--"

"Yeah, I know, alright? I'll think about it." Eren doesn't look convinced. It's fine. I don't really plan to call him. "We'll be leaving now."

I turned on my heel, walking away from the three of them. For some reason my chest felt heavier, and I didn't notice it until we were out of the building. My chest was constricted, as if someone was holding it in a tight grip, making it harder to breathe.

"Are you okay, Levi? You look pale again."

"I'm fine, Hange. Just drive me back home."

They didn't say anything after that. We walked to where the car was parked and got in, Hange starting up the engine before they started to drove back to my place.

I kept my eyes glued to the view outside, watching as buildings, people, and cars come then go in a blink of an eye. In the silence I can hear the gears in Hange's mind working.

"Just fucking ask me if you want to know something. It's not like you to walk on eggshells."

Hange chuckled. "I may not, but I think this is pretty personal, y'know? I don't want to ask you about it if it would make you uncomfortable."

I rolled my eyes, exasperated. "Just fucking say it."

"What happened between you and Eren? You look pretty pissed at him."

Oh no. Pissed is a fucking understatement. "Nothing. We just aren't on good terms before I left."

"Oh yes. You were new in town when we were in college." They nodded before they tore their gaze away from the road to glance at me. "But are you sure that nothing happened?"

I sighed. "Not to me, at least." I looked down to my lap, staring at the script. "It happened to someone I was pretty close with."

"What happened?"

"He cheated. They were together for years but weeks before graduation, he cheated."

"It seemed to affect you too much from what I can see."

I glared at them. "What are you trying to fucking imply?"

They shook their head. "Nothing. It's just that for someone like you who doesn't give a shit about almost everything, you seem to be affected."

"That's because I saw how much the person suffered after their breakup and it's all because Yeager couldn't be contented with what he has. You know how fucking much I hate cheaters." I turned my gaze to the road. "And I told, I was pretty close with them. It's only natural."

"You aren't using pronouns when you're talking about the person Eren cheated on."

"Because it wasn't important. Whatever their gender or sexuality is, Eren cheated. End of the fucking story. What else do you wanna know?"

"Nothing." Just when I thought I could spend the rest of the ride in silence, Shitty Glasses turned the radio on, the sound of shitty pop songs now filling the space.

I looked at them, pissed. "Really?"

They shrugged, but I can tell that they're pretty fucking pleased at themselves.

"Fuck you, Shitty Glasses."

Hange just laughed.

*****

Hange stopped in front of my house, letting me get out of the car. I bend down and looked at them from the outside. "I'll see you next time."

They flicked their hand. "You surely will. You won't be getting rid of me anytime soon."

"As if I didn't know that, Four Eyes." I slammed the door shut, taking a step back. "Don't get your ass into any trouble."

"I won't. Try not to miss me too much." Laughing, they drove away and I watched as their car get smaller and smaller as they get farther away until it disappeared from my sightwhen they turned to a corner.

I made my way to my house, unlocking the front door using my key then got inside. Leaving my shoes by the door, I went to the kitchen to make myself some tea.

As I wait for the water to boil, I sat down by the counter, flipping the script open. As I skimmed through the dialogue, I couldn't help but groan.

In the story, I was working for him as his secretary. Well, at least that's what the other fucking think. Behind closed doors, there's something happening between us that's pretty easy to explain. There should be no strings attached but apparently, my damn character was in love with Yeager's character, which is the only reason why he agreed to such shitty setup in the first place.

Letting out another exasperated sigh, I closed the script (which is binded and styled into a paperback book) before running my hand through my hair. I can feel the signs of an incoming headache.

This wouldn't be as easy as I fucking thought.

 


	3. Act III

Later on that day, Isabel came back from the university, looking exhausted. Her bright red hair was a mess, her backpack that should be on her shoulder was on the floor instead, getting dragged behind her as she made her way inside. I looked up from the script I was reading before she arrived, my eyebrows automatically frowning as I take in her appearance. The usual ball of energy looked as if all her energy was drained out of her body.

"What happened? You look like shit."

She slumped on the couch I was sitting on, sprawling out her hands beside her. She turned her head to look at me. "Wow, Big Bro. Thank you. I know that I already look like shit and I appreciate that you told me out loud."

I shifted on my seat so I can look at her properly. "What the fuck happened?"

She shook her head, her eyes closed. "Just the usual. School work is just draining the life out of me."

Leaning towards her, I used my left hand to ruffle her hair, knowing that it has the ability to make her feel relaxed. "You better get some rest then. We can't let you get sick now, right?"

She leaned into my head, a smile appearing on her lips. "Thanks, Big Bro." Sitting up straight, she turned to look at the script that's currently on my lap. "What's that thing on your lap?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at her sudden curiosity. Lifting the book up, I showed her the front cover, which is just plain light blue in color with the title Temporary Bliss printed in a fancy cursive. "It's the script for the movie."

"Woah," she said, her eyes wide as she stared at the script I'm holding. Without another word, she snatched it from my hand, flipping through the pages excitedly.

"Careful, brat. You might tear the pages."

"Sorry." She gave me an apologetic smile before she continued flipping through the pages and scanning the words printed on the papers, this time more carefully. "What's your role here?"

"I got one of the lead roles."

Her hand stopped turning the page midway, her head snapping to look at me. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh my god, that's so cool!" She was grinning at me and before I knew it, she lunged at me to hug me. "I always knew that you were good at acting. I'm so proud of you, Big Bro!"

I let a small smile appear on my lips when she broke the hug and looked at me. "Thanks, Izzy."

Returning to her seat earlier, she closed script then returned it to me. "Oh, so who got the other role? Are they a girl?" She laughed, finding her own thoughts funny. "Oh boy, if it's a girl, I can't wait to see what's going to happen. I know that you're as gay as New Year and fourth of July combined, so it would be so amusing to see you kissing a girl."

Isabel continued to laugh as I cringe at what she said. I don't have any problem with girls, but I just don't like the prospect of kissing or having sex with any of them. Just like what she said, I'm fucking gay. I just found guys more attractive than girls in general. I mean, girls are pretty, but I couldn't see myself being in a relationship with one.

"Sorry to break it to you, but it's actually a guy." I shrugged, leaning back to rest my back against the couch. "Besides, even if it's a girl, I have to be professional and do my job. It's not like I didn't get a female partner in one of my plays before."

"Well, you're right about that." She lifted both of her feet onto the couch and crossed it under her, her eyes still fixed on me. "Did you already meet him, then?"

"I saw him earlier."

"Oh? What does he looks like? Is he handsome? Cute? Is he taller or smaller than you?" She paused as if she said something wrong before she continued. "Oh wait, don't answer that. I think it's already a given."

I shot her a glare. I know that I'm shorter than the average height for males—hell, I'm even shorter than some of the females I know. Everyday is already a damn proof of that fact. She doesn't need to fucking announce it.

She lifted both of her hands in surrender. "Sorry, sorry. So, what does he looks like?"

Knowing that she wouldn't stop until she gets the answer, I replied. "He looks good. Olive skin, messy brown hair, full lips, good physique and he's a few inches taller than me. His eyes reminded me of yours. It's like emerald, with a few specks of gold in the irises."

She grinned at me, her head resting on her hand. "I bet that he looks good. I can't wait to see him."

"You're going to know at he looks like soon. Now, get your ass up to your room and rest. You still look like shit."

Rolling her eyes, she stood up. "Fine. Just call me if you need me."

After giving her a nod, I returned my attention to the script that's on the couch where Isabel placed it. Picking it back up, I flipped through the pages and resumed the part where I stopped earlier.

Just when I started reading, Isabel called me from the stairs. I looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled at me, but I can see the hints of sadness in it. "Do you think you can fall in love with him? It's just that you've been so unhappy lately. Farlan and I love you, but I think it isn't enough to make you happy. I think finding someone to love who will also love you back will make you happier."

My chest squeezed painfully at her words, but I tried to mask it with indifference. "I don't think I will fall in love with anyone at this point, Iz. And I'm happy enough with the two of you. Go on and rest. Don't think about me too much, will you?"

Although she looked like she has something left to say, she nodded before she went to her room, leaving without another word. When she was out of sight, I placed the script on the couch, careful not to cause any crease to it before slumping.

Not even louder than a whisper, I muttered something under my breath.

"Am I really that lonely?"

*****

The following days came by fast and I spent most of it memorizing my lines for the movie. I found myself not stressing about it as much as I thought I would, being able to do it in a perfect phase to keep myself prepared when we started shooting the scenes. There are too many times that I questioned myself if all of this is fucking worth it because damn, most of the scenes include me having to act with Yeager.

In the past few days I found myself reciting my lines while doing something, whether it be cleaning, while I'm in the shower or just in front of my mirror practicing. There are times that Izzy would catch me while doing it and she would try her best not to laugh. I won't deny that I looked like an idiot doing it, but this has always been a way of mine since I started acting.

Currently I was standing in the kitchen with the script in one hand and a glass of water in the other, replenishing myself after an hour of thorough cleaning. Starting tomorrow I wouldn't be around in the house as much as I used to considering that we'll start taping so I figured that it would be best to clean it up as much as I can.

My focus was directed to the papers I had in hand when Farlan came in, making me fail to notice him.  He made his presence known when he cleared his throat, catching my attention. When I looked away from what I'm reading, I saw him standing a few feet away, looking at me as he drink from the can of soda he has in hand. Considering that it's Sunday, he doesn't have work in the office today so he just lounge around the house.

I raised my eyebrow at him in a silent question. We didn't talk much after that day when I told them that I got a role for a film, so I know that he wants to ask questions regarding that.

Farlan, however, didn't speak immediately. He stood there while looking at me, still drinking his stupid soda.

My eyebrows furrowed in irritation. What? Are we just going to have a fucking staring contest here?

I put the script and glass down on the counter, my eyes never leaving Farlan. He kept on staring at me and it's getting on my nerves.

"What? Are you just going to stand there and stare? I know that you have something to say so just fucking spit it out before I make you."

He took the drink away from his mouth, his eyebrows also furrowing. He took a few steps towards me but still stayed a feet or two away. "What do you want me to say, Levi?"

"Anything!" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Anything would be fucking better than hearing nothing with you just staring at me like a damn creep."

"Actually," he drawled, and if he did it to make me more irritated, then he fucking succeed. "I don't have anything to say to you."

My jaw almost dropped at what he said. "Fucking what?"

He shrugged. "I don't have anything to say to you. I just went here for a drink and you were here and, yeah."

"And you stared at me like a damn creep, you shit."

"Why wouldn't I? You're very pleasant to look at."

I stared at him, my face blank as I did so. The room was silent for a moment before I rolled my eyes, picking up the glass and cleaning it before drying my hands and taking the script with me.

"Hey, where are you going?"

I stopped walking and looked back to see him looking confused. "My room." Then I continued vacating the room.

However, Farlan had other plan. He set the can down and hurried to get closer to me. "Wait, Levi."

I did what he said. Turning around, I met his gaze. "What do you want, Far?"

"I..." he sighed, looking down at his feet before returning his eyes on me, looking almost uncomfortable. "I'm sorry about what I said before. It has been--"

"Shitty."

He nodded. "Yeah, it has been shitty of me and I want to apologize. I didn't mean to say that. I'm just worried about you."

One of my eyebrows raised because of what he said. Worried? Why would he be worried? There's nothing to be worried about. In fact, he should be happy for me that I get to start reaching my dreams.

"You don't have anything to fucking worry about. If you couldn't see, I'm a fucking adult and I can take care of myself and I could do whatever I damn please."

He shook his head. "I know that, Levi, and that's not what I'm worried for. I'm worried about you getting involved with the others. I know that this sounds so selfish but I'm scared that you'll get along with them and fall for them. I heard and seen it happen before. Considering that the other lead is also a man, I'm—I'm jealous. And scared. I don't want that to happen, Levi. Not when I still don't have you."

Farlan looked conflicted as he waited for an answer. However, I stayed silent, my eyes looking everywhere but him. We talked about this before for so many fucking times and my answer still didn't change.

He took a few steps towards me and when he did, I took some steps back, keeping the distance between us. A hurt look settled on his face, a look that I got used to seeing—but that doesn't mean that the guilt that I felt for causing that to him ever lessen.

"I already told you, Farlan. Stop this. You're just hurting yourself."

"Come on, Levi. I've been trying to make you love me back for more than a year already. Is it that hard?"

I remained silent and I can feel how much it kills him. He moved quickly, moving closer to me and grabbed both my arms, his grip sliding from my forearm to my hands, holding it gently, pleadingly. I don't have to look at him to know what look he was wearing. When I did, I instantly regretted it.

His eyes were glossy, covered with tears that he was barely holding back, his lips pursed into a straight line. He was looking at me pleadingly, desperately, like he wanted me to say the words that he has been hoping to hear for the past year in order to save him. Save him from the pain, the hurt that I kept on causing him.

But I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to spare him from the pain, I couldn't do it. I made it clear to him before that going after me is futile. That I could never return the affection that he has for me. He was the only one who could save himself, not me, not anyone. Only him. 

"Farlan, how many times do I have to tell you? You can't expect me to love you just because you feel it for me. I'm not interested in anyone and when I say anyone, that includes you. I don't want our friendship to be tainted because of this, but I can't involve myself in a relationship with you just because of that. So please, I'm fucking begging you, Far. Stop this."

Pulling my hand away from his, I walked back to my room without looking back at him, but it wouldn't take a genius to know that he was crying.

It made the guilt I felt shoot up the fucking ceiling.

*****

Monday came in fast and the next thing I knew, I'm already getting ready to get to the site where we will be taping the first scene. To say that I was nervous was an understatement, with my heart beating more than a mile per hour, I felt like I'm going to have a heart attack anytime.

After deeming that my hair is fixed enough, I grabbed my things on the nightstand then went down, deciding to go to the kitchen first to grab some drink. 

The only person I saw there is Isabel, who is currently eating a toast, looking far from being awake. She looked like she would fall asleep right then and there.

I went to have a glass of water, looking at my phone to check the time. Isabel turned her head to look at me, showing me her sleepy grin.

"Good morning, Big Bro. Good luck with your taping. Do your best, alright?"

I nodded before drinking what's left from my glass. "I will."

"Do you know what happened to Farlan? He wasn't here when I woke up and he wasn't in his room either. It's too early for him to go to work. Did something happen?"

The guilt that I thought had died down from yesterday returned full force, almost enough to break the mask of indifference I'm wearing.

"Nothing. Not that I know of."

She nodded, this time looking more awake than she did before. "I see. What's the matter with that guy?" The sentence was muttered, sounding like it was directed more towards herself than me.

"I need to go. Just message me if you need anything."

"See you later, Big Bro. Break a leg."

Bidding her my goodbye, I went out and headed to my car. The trip to the building where we will shoot the first scene isn't far, only taking fifteen minutes drive from the house. My nervousness was still present, continuously gnawing at me the whole fucking time as I made my way to the floor where I know the others will be.

The trip on the elevator didn't even help in the slightest. I'm not claustrophobic, nor the place was filthy, but with my nerves frayed and scattered all over, even the slightest sound made my state worse.

When the elevator dinged and the person talking from the speaker said that it's already the floor that I was going to, I stepped out. I looked around, seeing many people around the place as well as many equipments that would be used for the movie. Despite the hammering thing inside my fucking chest, I tried to look as confident as I can as I started roaming the place.

I looked around the place while I slipped past many busy crews, watching them set the place up. When I heard someone call my name, I turned my head to where it came from and saw a blonde girl from where it came from. She started approaching me, a nervous smile on her face.

"You're Levi Ackerman, right?" She kept the smile on her face but it's clear how I made her feel uneasy. The girl looked like she would run away any minute.

"Yes." Even though my response was short, relief flooded in her blue eyes and she let out a sigh. Once again she smiled, this time looking more comfortable than earlier.

"Then I should guide you to the dressing room to get you ready. Please follow me this way." Not giving me any time to respond, she started walking to the direction she came from earlier with me following closely behind her. We only stopped walking when we reached a door with my name plastered on the surface as well as another person's name.

Levi Ackerman & Eren Yeager

It felt like someone stole all the air out of my fucking lungs the moment I saw the damn names printed on the paper.

She turned around to look at me and smiled, again. Isn't she getting tired smiling?

"You will be sharing the dressing room with Eren. The others also have someone to share theirs so it's fair. Anyway, I'm Christa and I'm one of the makeup artists here." She offered her hand to me and I accepted it, shaking it briefly before letting go. Turning around, she took hold of the handle and turned it, opening the door for both of us. 

Inside sat no other than Eren Yeager, sitting in front of a mirror as he scroll through his phone, a black haired girl fixing his hair beside him. He tore his eyes away from the gadget in his hand when the door opened, looking at us through the mirror. 

"Hi, Levi." He smiled a little, looking pleased when he saw me from the doorway. I ignored his greeting and proceeded inside without a word or glance at him, sitting on a chair in front of a mirror that was similar to the one in front of Eren, with all the bright lights and other shits.

"You're not even going to say hello?" I still didn't pay him any attention, keeping my eyes glued to the mirror in front of me. 

The girl, Christa, started pushing my hair away from my face, using bobby pins to keep it from falling back. She started preparing some makeup before she looked at me in the mirror. "I will start applying make up, is that fine?"

"Do whatever you need to." She nodded and started applying something on my face after making sure that it's clean.

"Don't worry, it won't be too much. Just a bit of foundation and such since you already have a nice skin and honestly? You look handsome even without makeup."

"Are you hitting on Levi, Christa?" Eren suddenly piped in, earning him an eye roll from Christa. I stayed silent the whole time.

"Shut up, Eren. You know that I don't."

The girl who's fixing Eren's hair laughed, already starting putting makeup on Eren. "Yeah, Christa's right. Stop teasing, Eren."

Silence befall on us again before Eren spoke up again. That little shit.

"Hey, Levi. Aren't you going to speak? You're allowed to, you know." He sounded playful, like he was trying to get me engaged in a conversation, but he was far from being able to do it.

"Fuck off," I snapped at him.

Eren tutted. "Woah, that isn't a good way to start the day, isn't it?"

"Fuck off."

This guy is already getting on my nerves and not even half an hour has passed.

Wanting to not say anything bad and make the situation worse than it already was, I stayed silent. God knows what I could fucking say to him if I open my mouth. 

"Levi, I know that you don't want to be with me or even see me, but we have to be civil. This is work and we can't jeopardize it for personal reasons."

With my irritation getting the better part of me, I shifted in my seat to have a better look at Eren, my eyes throwing daggers at him.

"You see, Eren," I said his name slowly, "I can act civil and do my fucking job without having to talk to you outside our scenes. So please for the love of everything holy, shut the fuck up."

He looked taken aback at my words, totally unprepared with what hit him. I sat on my seat properly again, Christa getting back to work in an instant.

The place was filled with silence, none of us bothering to talk after that. It went on like that until the one doing his makeup was finished. He stood up, already dressed in a forest green button up, slacks and black leather shoes for his role, looking serious and all the playfulness he held earlier was gone. It was like a whole new Eren replaced the one earlier, the one that I used to interact with all those years ago.

This one, he was a stranger. Not even a trace of the Eren that I used to know remained in this one. His eyes were blank, not bright and full of wonder as it used to look like.

"Fine." Even his voice was just as blank and it sent unpleasant chills down my spine. "If that's what you want, fine. Let's just do our fucking job and get this over with." He took the black coat that was hanged on one of the racks and after that, he was gone.

I took a deep breath. What the fuck did I put myself into?


	4. Act IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I was so nervous when I was writing this. I was thinking of writing the acting scenes in 3rd person but it wouldn't look good considering that I wrote the other parts in first person. I got it worked out though.
> 
> There will be many inaccuracies but please, don't roast me for it. As I said, I don't know what's happening in taping. I just searched it on Google.
> 
> I swear I suck at naming original characters. That's the reason why I don't write original stories.
> 
> This is unedited, as usual.
> 
> Without further adieu, enjoy

The moment Eren and I were ready, we were led to the office which will be the set for our taping. Both of us were told exactly where to stand and where to move for the camera, which were marked on the floor using tapes. When we told them that we got it, we rehearsed the briefly quickly before they started polishing the place as well as making sure that the equipments are ready.

I was standing near the office table and Eren was standing a few feet away from me, both of us preparing ourselves. I recalled my lines inside my head, not wanting to embarrass myself and lengthen the time to be spent just for the first act. Eren was skimming through his script, eyes moving swiftly across the page, looking focused as he did so.

One of the staff approached me, holding a cup of coffee as well as a folder and I tore my gaze away from Eren to look at him. "Here, take this. You know what you're going to with that, right?"

Nodding, I took both of it. "Yeah, thanks."

The man patted my shoulder, smiling. "Good luck."

He left after that, leaving me to my own business. My heart is still pounding loudly in my chest, racing as my nerves continued to gnaw at me, forcing me to take deep breaths in attempt to calm it. I've been doing this for years. Maybe not in front of a camera, but I've been acting and performing since I was a teen. This shouldn't be that hard.

The staffs, after finishing what they're doing for the setting, went behind the cameras that's surrounding the area where Eren and I were left alone. Eren stopped reading, closing the script before putting it inside one of the drawers provided by the table.

"Levi, Eren." I turned to look at Erwin, the director, who was sitting a few meters away from us. He was holding a bunch of papers, probably the script, as he looked at us. "We'll start taping. Are you guys ready?"

Eren and I both nodded in response. Erwin smiled at us reassuringly, trying to ease some of the nervousness. It was thoughtful of him, making us as comfortable as possible by not putting pressure on us.

"Good. Do your best, you two," he told us one last time before he commanded, "Let's go for a take."

Without wasting another minute, I quickly went to my position for the first scene, standing just behind the glass door of Eren's supposed office. I watched them inside, waiting for the signal from the assistant director so I could enter.

"Quiet on the set!" Eren went behind the office table, taking a seat and started to stare and do something with the computer in front of him. The assistant director went to stand by the door, a slate in hand, as the cameraman directed the camera to me.

"Roll it."

"Rolling." As they went on, my heart started up pounding too fast again and I forced to relax. I couldn't afford to fuck up now.

"Speed."

"One, take one."

The assistant director, who is holding the slate up, snaps it shut and from inside, I heard Erwin shouted, "Action!"

Taking it as my cue to move, I opened the door, keeping my face passive despite the turmoil inside my chest and stomach. I continued walking, keeping myself composed, stopping when I reached the part of the floor which is marked by a tape.

"Good morning, Sir. Here's your coffee." I put the cup of coffee down on the office table, watching as Eren kept his eyes trained on the screen of the computer just like what he's supposed to do. My heart is finally beating normally now, my nerves gone, allowing me to relax. "The files that you asked for Mr. Johnson has already been sent to you this morning, as well as the copy of the contract that you made with Mr. Williams. As for your schedule, " I looked at the paper which held information about his character's schedule, "you'll be having a meeting with the board members later at one in the afternoon. Except that, your schedule for today is clear."

Eren looked away from the screen and leaned back, his hand reaching for the coffee. He took a sip before he closed his eyes and stretched his neck, looking tired. It seemed so true that I was almost buying that he was really tired and that it wasn't an act.

Opening his eyes, he stared at me, and I furrowed my eyebrows and forced myself to look uncomfortable, following the directions. It was silent, Eren just staring at me while I kept my eyes away from his. Knowing that he won't say anything, I stepped back, turning my body a little as I feel his eyes on me.

"I—I'll be leaving now."

Turning on my heels, I swallowed nervously, knowing what's going to happen next. Thinking about it made my heart pick up its pace once again. Fuck, I already prepared myself for this so why am I suddenly being nervous?

I walked away from him, my pace normal as I made my way out of the place. Oh, who am I kidding? He will stop me before I even reached the door. I did my best not to let the expression on my face be affected by my thoughts.

I was standing by the door with my hand on the metal handle when I heard him call my name. Not my real name, but the character I play as. "Blake."

Keeping my hand on the handle, the metal cold to the touch, I turned to look at him. I looked at him with a questioning and unsure look while he kept his face passive. "Do you need anything, Sir?"

"Come closer." There's hesitation in my movements, every step wary, but eventually I found myself standing at the same spot as I did earlier.

Since I got a copy of the script, I know that it would be somewhat hard for me to slip into Blake's personality. He was nervous around his boss, shy, timid, very unsure of himself and is afraid of voicing out his thoughts—my exact opposite. I am blunt and I know how to carry myself, and I pride myself for being able to voice out my opinion and not be easily swayed.

But I am Blake now, which means I should act like him.

I kept my eyes to the side, refusing to look at him. He stood up, movement sleek and precise as he ambled his way to me.

Seconds later I felt his presence behind me, towering over me considering that he's taller than me. He was so close that I can feel his heat coming off his body, through his clothes and radiating to me, making it easier to look uncomfortable because the truth is, I fucking am uncomfortable with the small distance between us.

I am painfully aware of everything around me, including the people working around us, making hushed noises. From the corner of my eye I can see Erwin looking pleased, as if he's happy with how things are working out.

He should be, I thought. I'm feeling so fucking uncomfortable here.

I felt him move closer to me until his chest is pressing against my back, catching me off guard. My eyes widen at the contact and my breath was caught in my throat. I stood there frozen, feeling his hands slither from my thighs to my hips, resting it there with a firm grip.

Shit. I'm not fucking ready for this. I didn't know that he'll fucking touch me! I didn't see it in the script!

He bend down and placed his chin on my shoulders. I can feel his breath hit my face.

"I missed you..." His words were spoken quietly, the scene forming a fragile atmosphere of intimacy around us. I swallowed, opening my mouth to speak out my line.

"Y-you missed me?" My words were breathless and I'm pretty fucking sure that I'm doing a damn good job with my role.

I heard and felt Eren chuckled lowly, his mouth curling into a small smile. "Yes, I did. It has been so long since the last time."

Before I could reply, Eren unlatched himself from me and turned my body around before he forced me to take some steps back. He didn't stop until I was cornered and stuck between him and the table. Placing his hands on the table both of my sides, he successfully caged me, giving me no place to turn.

"S-sir, don't—"

"What?" He positioned his mouth next to my ear, moving his body closer to mine, the space between us almost nonexistent. "I'm not doing anything."

I raised both of my hands and put it against his chest, pushing him a little. He moved back but kept his hands fixed on the table.

I knew Eren was a damn good actor. We worked together plenty of times before. But fuck, seems like the past five years made him better.

He was staring at me, his turquoise eyes bright and smoldering. I was transfixed by it, unable to do anything until I remembered my next line.

  
"Someone might see."

"I told you, I'm not doing anything.

He left a kiss on my ear before he backed off, taking a moment to compose himself. Soon enough he was back to his role's detached and cold demeanor.

"Tonight at eight. My place."

Acting like I was getting out of trance, I blinked for a few seconds before I nodded.

"Noted."

I stepped away from the table as he made his way back to his seat. Watching him take his seat, I kept my eyes on him, following his movements.

He took a glance at me first before he returned his attention to the screen. "You may go."

Following his order, I made my way to the door. With a little hesitation, I turned to look back at him and let out a sigh before finally  stepping out of the office.

"Cut!" I heave out a sigh of relief, feeling the tension in my muscles slowly ease out. Thanks fuck we were able to get through this without any problem.

I made my way back to the office, watching as the staffs move around and do whatever they need to do. Erwin stood up from his seat and went closer to the two of us, smiling.

"That was great, you two. I think I won't regret choosing you for the roles."

Eren smiled at him, his eyes shining with joy and pride. "Thank you."

"Thanks." My reply was short but he seemed to be content with it. Christa soon approached me, fixing my light makeup and checking my clothes and I saw that Mina was doing the same thing to Eren. Someone handed me a bottle of water which I gladly took, using it to quench my dry throat.

Erwin's voice caught our attention when he spoke. "We'll be filming another scene here. We can't afford to waste time. Eren, you'll be filming your scene with Jean. You know your lines?"

Eren nodded. "Yes, I do."

"Good. We'll be filming in fifteen minutes. Get ready."

He received various replies and soon they all went back to work. Erwin turned to look at me.

"You don't have a scene here. You can go rest and read the script while you wait."

"Thanks." Giving him a nod, I made my way out of the office and went to the room which serves as our dressing room. Christa was following right behind me, humming happy tunes all the way until we reached the room.

I head straight to where the couch is and plopped myself down onto it, feeling the soft material against me. From a distance I heard a gasp, causing me look up. It was Christa and I took in her offended look.

"Levi, your makeup will smudge if you keep laying like that."

Remembering the shit she put on my face earlier, I shifted my body on the couch, not letting my face have contact with anything. "Fuck, sorry about that."

She hummed happily again. "It's fine. Just be careful next time. Besides, I still have some time before your next shoot."

"Yeah, thanks." How many fucking times had I said 'thanks' today?

She shook her head, giggling while she did so. "No problem. I'm just doing my job."

I closed my eyes as Christa move around, doing who-knows-what. There was nothing but silence in the room until she called my name.

"Hey, Levi."

"What?"

"You guys were so good earlier." Her voice held a tone of amazement in it. "Especially that part where Eren was standing behind you before he cornered you, damn. The atmosphere is so tense and it feels so real. It doesn't feel like I'm watching a taping but a real situation instead."

"I'm thankful that it turned out like that. Hearing it from someone is a big reassurance. I was thinking that I would fuck up earlier."

"Far from it. You did it so naturally. I think you and Eren has that chemistry that would get people hooked." I sat up and saw her smiling. "You two look good together."

I quickly looked away, my gaze landing on the floor. "You think so?"

"Yep. You two are perfect for the film."

I didn't respond after that. She also went to do her own business, leaving me alone in the room. Deciding that it would be better to read the script again, I stood up and went to take it. I caught sight of my phone so I also checked if there's any messages.

There was one. It was from Hange.

 **Shitty Glasses, 11:06:** Heeeya, Grumpy Pants. How's work? :D

I rolled my eyes. Typical Hange. They never learn to wait.

I texted them back as I went back to the couch.

 **Levi, 11:42** : Peachy.

Setting my phone on the couch, I opened the script and started to read when my phone rang. The screen flashed Hange's message.

 **Shitty Glasses, 11:42** : Wow, your reply is so long.

 **Levi, 11:43** : If you don't have anything to say, then fuck off.

This time I didn't bother to take the phone off my hands. Hange's going to reply again in a few seconds. I fucking know it.

A few seconds later, my phone chimed again.

 **Shitty Glasses, 11:43:** Bad, Levi. So, how's things between you and Eren?

 **Levi, 11:44:**  Peachy.

 **Shitty Glasses, 11:46:** Really, Levi? That's all that you're going to say? Maybe you're craving for peach since you keep on saying peachy. Do you want me to buy you some?

 **Levi, 11:47:**  Fuck off, Hange. It's fine. The filming went well. We acted civil and just did our damn job. Are you fucking happy now, huh?

 **Shitty Glasses, 11:45:** Mhmm, very much. Glad to know that you're doing well and not scaring everyone off.

 **Levi, 11:45:** Don't you have a damn work?

 **Shitty Glasses, 11:46:** Oops, sorry. I just want to check on you. I might drop off later. Bye!

  Pressing the lock button of my phone, I returned my attention to the script, not bothering to reply back to Hange. Because the room is void of people except me, the room is silent save for the sound of the pages flipping occasionally. I leaned back until my head is against the arm rest, using one of the cushions as pillow and continued to skim through the words on the pages.

It went on like that for quite some time before I heard the door opened. Eren came in with Mina right behind him and he went to sit on the nearest beanbag. He made himself comfortable before he drank his bottled water.

Someone came in again and I saw Christa. "Hey, Levi, Eren. Mina and I are going to grab lunch. Want me to order something for you?

"It's fine, I don't want to trouble you." Eren regarded her with a faint smile.

She shook her head. "It's fine."

"If you say so." Eren stood up and took his wallet, taking some cash and giving it to Christa. I also stood up to take my wallet and gave her money.

"I'll get whatever you two are getting."

She nodded at Eren before turning to look at me. "How about you?"

"I'll also get the same as yours."

"Okay. We'll be back soon." Both of them took their wallet and phone before they went out, leaving me alone in the room with Eren. I took my place earlier on the couch and continued reading while Eren went back to the beanbag.

I was silently reading when I remembered something.

"What you did earlier; it wasn't written in the script."

Eren looked at me, surprised. Maybe he didn't expect me to talk and just act as if he wasn't in the same room.

"I—uhm," he cleared his throat. "I know, but I did that to make it more interesting."

"Interesting? You were just supposed to fucking hold my chin and whisper something in my ear. Not to run your hands up my fucking thighs and place your hands on my hips."

He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand before he looked at me, his expression serious. "Look. I only did it for the best. I didn't mean to offend your or worse, make you feel harassed. If you did, then sorry."

The look on his face and tone of his voice proved that he really is sorry.

I didn't bother to respond and went back to reading, but the sigh that escaped his lips told his relief.

"You did great, there."

I settled the book on my stomach to properly look at him. Eren already loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, making me raise an eyebrow.

Eren shrugged, aware of the reason of my action. "I'm not used to it."

I wouldn't deny it. I know that for a fact. "Whatever. You did great too."

"You know, it was nice to able to work with you again. I thought that I wouldn't be able to act with you again after you...you know, left." He faltered as he finished his sentence. He was looking at the ground, silent, and I took it as my time to reply.

"I had my reasons." He lifted his gaze from the ground and stared at me. " But I guess I could say the same. Knowing that I'm working with someone I was familiar with makes me more comfortable. Especially considering the fucking theme of the movie."

Eren chuckled at that, as if I said something funny."You're right about that."

Having this conversation with Eren, it made me remember the times when we used to talk a lot, talking about any possible topics. There's no boring moments with him but sometimes he just doesn't know when's the right time to shut his mouth, leading us to trouble more often than not.

"You improved a lot." Eren looked surprise when I started up a conversation and I can see that he's happy that I did. Maybe I wouldn't mind talking to him, but that doesn't mean that I could just easily forget about what happened before.

We may talk, but it wouldn't bring back the bond that was once broken.

"I took a college degree for acting. I guess it paid off."

"I see. I also took the same degree."

Eren smiled. "I figured. I know how passionate and determined you are for acting so it really isn't surprising. You also improved a lot since then, Levi. You deserve to get the role."

"It's just fucking weird that you and I got together in the film."

"Mikasa practically forced me to audition, but now I'm glad that I did. I didn't regret any of it."

It was pretty obvious that he didn't, based on the way he said it.

Suddenly a phone rang and I knew that it was Eren's because it wasn't my ringtone. Besides, who would even fucking call me? I could count how many people have my number using my two hands.

Eren took his phone and checked who the caller is before looking at me. "I need to answer this call."

He waited for me to nod before he answered the call, standing up to leave the room. "Hey, Annie."

It only took a few seconds before he reached the door and with that, he's gone.

I sighed, starting to read the script again.

I can manage the silence, anyways.


	5. Act V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be a lot of grammar mistakes but please be kind. This is unedited.

Fortunately, the day carried on normally. We've taken more scenes with other actors and actresses, had some retakes when the director wasn't content with what he saw and such--in short, things that you would expect to take place in a setting for a movie.

Between breaks, I didn't bother to waste my energy to talk to the guy I shared the dresssing room with, keeping myself occupied with my script and my phone, scrolling through my social media account. It wasn't rare for me to have a few or no notifications at all. I don't have plenty of acquaintances for me to follow or whatnot, but I noticed that since the last time I checked my account, I gained a lot more new followers.

My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at my phone, wondering if the number flashing on it was right or it was just a glitch. It wouldn't be fucking surprising if it was. Actually, I would be more fucking surprised if it wasn't a glitch.

As I continued to scroll through my account, I heard a knock coming from the door, making me tore my gaze away from the device I had in my hand and towards the entryway. From there I saw Marco, one of the staffs who helps in fixing and decorating the set, looking at us with a smile. This guy never seemed to stop smiling.

"Director Smith said that it's okay for you guys to go home, but he will see the two of you first."

"Okay, we'll see him in a moment," Eren replied to him, the sound of his voice leaning more towards blank than the usual energetic tone I was used to hear. I nodded at Marco as a response.

"It has been a good day. It was nice working with you two." With a flick of a hand, he left, closing the door behind him.

When he was gone, I turned to face the makeup vanity where some of my stuffs were placed at. Returning my belongings into my black messenger bag, I stood up and made my way to the door. I stopped when I reached the door, looking back to see Eren still slumped on the couch, looking blankly at the floor. He has been like that for hours, always looking like he was in his own world, unresponsive and oblivious to the others around him. I knew him long enough to say that he was troubled. By what? I don't have a fucking clue.

But who cares? I won't go out of my way just to comfort his sorry ass. That's not my role--even more, not my responsibility. That ended five years ago.

"Eren."

I wasn't expecting him to move or even notice me, considering how fucking far off to daydream land he was. That's why when he turned to face my direction, I was left to stare at the blank look on his face. I've rarely seen that look on him years ago but now, it seems like I should get used to it.

I pulled my thoughts together, my hand resting on the doorknob before regarding him with my usual stoic expression. "Aren't you supposed to haul your fucking ass out and meet with Erwin?"

The expression on his face didn't change. He still looked like he was in a trance. "Yes. I'll be out in a minute."

I left him to his own devices after that, not bothering to give him a response. Weaving my way through the busy people packing the gears used for the taping earlier, I saw Erwin standing a few feet away from the commotion on set.

"You called for us?" Erwin shifted his eyes from the screen in front of him to my way, smiling a little and nodding when he saw me. Erwin looked behind me to check if the brunet was with me. When he saw no signs of the said actor, he frowned.

"Where's Eren?"

"He said that he'll follow in a minute."

He nodded. "Then let's wait for him."

Turning my body, I set my eyes to the door. True to his words, Eren emerged out of the room, nothing but his rolled up script and keys in hand as he made his way towards us.When he was already standing beside me, Erwin turned his attention to us.

"You two are great to work with. I didn't have any problems when you two are together in a scene."

"We've worked together before; maybe that's the reason."

I turned my head to glare at Eren but he didn't notice it, his eyes fixated on Erwin. Erwin nodded at the information given to him, looking pleased.

"I see. Maybe that's why. I didn't regret choosing the two of you for this film." Both of us expressed our thanks and he carried on. "I need you to be ready for your next scenes so our filming will carry on fluidly. And on Saturday, the actors and actresses will have a workshop to improve your skills. I expect you to be there."

"Okay," Eren replied.

"I will." Erwin clapped both our shoulders before he allowed us to go. Bidding him a good night, I went straight to the elevator and out of the building, heading to the car before going home.

It has been a long day and I felt tired. When I arrived at my place, I took my shoes off then ambled to the living room, dropping my bag to the floor beside the couch before plopping down the couch. My body took up the whole furniture with my head resting on the armrest.

I let out a sigh before I muddled over today's happening. It wasn't bad. It isn't bad working with the others. They're pretty easy to work with. When they commit a mistake, they will quickly absorb it and apply what they've learned the next take. There are times where we took repeatedly but it's mostly caused by bad camera angle. Erwin can be a choosy bastard when it comes to his work.

Other than that unexpected move Eren did in our first take, everything went smoothly. As far as I can see, I won't be having trouble working with the others. They know when to play around and when they should not. Even Erwin looked pleased with it.

The silence that hung in the room was shattered when the doorbell rang. With a lot of effort on my part, I stood up and heavily padded my way to the door, opening it to see Hange standing outside, together with a box of pizza and canned beers. They were grinning at me, a sight that should be unnerving but something that I got used to through the years.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Hange raised both their hands. "I'm here to celebrate with you, little man. Now let me through."

They didn't wait for me to let them through. Instead, they shoved their way in, taking their shoes off first before they head into the living room. Thanks fuck they have enough mind to leave the shoes behind and not leave dirt in my house.

Closing the door, I followed them to the living room. Hange placed the food they brought on the coffee table before they strode towards the television to turn it on.

I let them do what they want, grabbing a can of beer and taking a swig of it as I sat down on the couch, folding my legs beneath me. From the taste, I could tell that it was light. The beer was still cold, something I was thankful for considering that it kinda tastes like shit when it isn't.

When Hange sat down on the same couch where I am residing, a little more than a feet between us, the first thing they took was a slice of pizza. I also took one, gracing my tastebuds with the meaty and cheesy taste.

Reaching for a can of beer, Hange raised their can as they faced my direction. "Let's cheer for the first day of your new job as a celebrity!"

I rolled my eyes but still complied, clanking my drink with their's before drinking it. Hange really sounded and looked like they were glad for me.

"Thanks, Shitty Glasses."

Placing the can on the table, they shifted on their seat to face me properly. "How's your first day at taping?"

My eyebrows furrowed a little. "You sound like a mother asking her child about their day at school."

"Oh hush and tell me, Levi."

I leaned back on the couch and relaxed myself, taking another sip from my drink before answering. "It's fine. The other actors and actresses were great to work with. It's a good thing that there's no whiny brat around."

Hange chuckled. "Yeah, or I'll be sorry for them."

I shook my head before finishing the slice of pizza I had in hand.

"Is everything good with you and Eren?"

I didn't hint any malicious intent in their voice, just pure curiosity. I decided to spoil them with an answer. "A day went by without any of us missing any fucking limb. You can say if it's okay or not."

Eren really didn't cause me any trouble. How could he? He was always spacing off, looking like his mind was so far away. The only time that he seemed to be himself was when he was looking at his phone and tapping away furiously.

Now that I think about it, Eren started to act like that after his phone call with Annie. He went back with a look clearly screaming 'not in the mood' and even shut the door with a little mpre force than what was needed, earning him a glare from me.

The fucking bastard didn't even look a sorry.

His anger soon faded into nothing after an hour or so. And when I said nothing, I meant  _nothing_.

Because that's when he started to be in his own little void, staring off into space. It was a good thing that it didn't affect his performance or else he'll be having a shit with Erwin.

Maybe somewhere along his talk with her it got a little rough or heated, making him act like that. What else? It's the most plausible idea. If it went smoothly, I fucking doubt that he wouldn't be his usual self. He isn't like the Eren I knew years before--that one was much happier and brighter than this one--but the one that I saw earlier is more strange.

I wouldn't admit it would loud, but I missed seeing the eyes of the Eren that I knew before. I could still remember how expressive those turquoise eyes are, bright and passionate and really stand for the saying _'eyes are the window to the soul'_.

His eyes now, however, has lost its luster. The brightness was replaced by dullness, the emotions that used to swirl in those irises seemed to be hidden by walls. Looking at it felt like staring into the eyes of a stranger.

I shouldn't be surprised. Five years is a long time to change a person. I changed. It wasn't rational to think that he would remain as the bright eyed teen that he was before.

Hange cleared their throat, successfully tearing me out of my thoughts. They were looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

"What?"

They slapped my thigh. "There's something on your mind."

"Obviously. It's not like yours, Hange."

"Ruuuude." Hange once again hit me, this time aiming for my shoulder. "Care to tell me what you're thinking about?"

"Eren." My answer made Hange look at me suspiciously.

"Eren? What about him?"

I shrugged, acting like I didn't just take a fucking trip down the memory lane. "Nothing important. Just made me realize how much he has changed. It's almost like he was a stranger."

Hange was silent at first, watching for my reactions. It felt uncomfortable but I ignored it and decided to carry on eating. One can of beer and two slices of pizza later, Hange spoke, breaking the silence between us.

"You know," I looked at Hange, a small smile on their lips. "I think you shouldn't be surprised. You also changed so much."

"I know." And that is for the best. I refused to be the same way as I fucking used to be when I was younger. I was naive, unaware of how rough life can really be, ignorant of how much bullshit it can throw at whoever unlucky enough to get to its bad side. After going through so much pain and loss, I refuse to be the same person from years ago.

I learned from my mistakes, my experiences.

I'm hoping that my current self would be able to detect bullshits and protect me from being hurt  _again._

*****

The following days went on smoothly. The film was slowly progressing with the constant filming that took up plenty of hours. Working with the others now felt more natural with me, even with Eren. I knew how to separate my character to myself so it was much easier to act like how I was supposed to.

Last night, I realized that I didn't have a manager. I'm not sure if anyone can handle being my manager with my personality, so I took the safest choice. I told Hange about it and they were more than glad to accept it. Hange knew plenty of people inside the industry which would make it easier for them to get me projects and no matter how crazy they are, work is work. No exceptions, no buts.

Isabel was keen on asking me about the happenings in the set which I provided with answers. She has always been like that, always interested with the events in my life. Maybe she just likes to know every aspect of my life, or she's in it just for some gossips.

Farlan, on the other hand, seemed to already accept that I won't stop acting anytime soon. He was silent whenever Isabel asked me questions about it, keeping his comments to himself. Sometimes he even looked interested, even going as far as asking me a question himself.

Having a good sleep last night, I woke up in a brighter mood than usual. Isabel said that I was less cranky which was agreed by Farlan. Hange also noticed it when they called me after I took a shower, saying that it was unusual for me to greet them with their name and not Shitty Glasses.

I pointed it to having longer sleep than I usually did, and the fact that I am starting to enjoy working for the movie. I had always enjoyed acting, but working with other people who knows how to work professionally made it even better.

When I arrived at the set, everything was the same as usual. Plenty of camera and other gears were scattered around the place, the staffs talking to each other as they wait and prepare what would be needed later. On my way to the dressing room, Christa greeted me in her usual cheery mood. I greeted her back as she started to walk along beside me.

"I already prepared your clothes for the shoot today. I hung it on the clothes rack, it was separated from the others. You can easily see it. I'll do your makeup later, I have to do something first."

"Thanks, Christa."

"It's nothing. I'll go then. Don't forget to change your clothes immediately." She smiled and waved before hurriedly changing her direction, going back to where we came from earlier.

I didn't know what I expected to see when I opened the door of the dressing room I shared with Eren. Normally, he would be lounging on the couch, his eyes would be glued to the script or phone in his hand. There were times where I would arrive and Mina is already starting to apply makeup on Eren.

This time, I was totally fucking unprepared with what I saw. I was frozen in place at first at the sight that welcomed me.

On the couch was Eren and Annie, kiss--no, trying to fucking eat each others' faces out.

Annie was laying on the couch underneath Eren, hands looped around his neck and fingers tangled into his hair. Eren was straddling her, his hands on her waist, already beneath her shirt.

Disgust rolled through me, twisting my stomach. Anger started to boil and it took all of me not to fucking storm towards them and pull them away from each other.

This is fucking disrespectful.

"What's this? Am I fucking interrupting something?"

Both of them hurriedly sat up, looking at me with horrified faces. My expression was enough to kill. My anger was surging through me like waves, barely kept at bay. They were staring at me with wide eyes, even Annie. In other cases, it would be amusing to see, but not this time.

"What?" I questioned when they didn't make any move. "Are you just going to fucking stare at me? Or maybe you're going to fucking continue whatever you're doing earlier like I'm not here?"

My words were said through gritted teeth, my anger barely controlled. I was pissed beyond belief.

How dare they fucking do that in this place?

Both of them stood up and composed themselves before they quickly made their way towards the door where I'm currently standing. I stepped inside to give way for them, a look of shame adorning their faces.

I shut the door with more force than necessary in attempt to release some of my anger. I dropped my bag on the seat in front of the makeup vanity, avoiding the couch with disgust. Checking for the clothes that Christa had prepared, I changed my attire into a formal one in the bathroom.

When I went out, Eren was already back, sitting on the couch. He looked at me with a look that obviously said  _sorry_ , but my distaste wasn't gone.

Eren stood up and properly faced me. "Levi, sorry about what happened earlier."

I scoffed, holding myself back from slapping this man's face. "Sorry about what? About you almost having sex on the fucking couch in our shared dressing room?"

He flinched at the harsh tone of my voice, but I couldn't feel any pity for him.

"Levi, we're not going to fuck on the couch."

Unbelievable.

Clenching my fists, I shoot him my deadliest glare I could muster. "Hah. Really? What? You're just going to fucking roll around with your damn clothes off on the couch? I know what I saw,  _Yeager_. Don't make me a damn idiot. If I came here a little late, you would've been fucking already."

Eren couldn't speak after that. My anger was still on its peak and I don't think that it would be subsiding any sooner.

"Look, Yeager." I strode the room and reached him after a few steps. I was glaring at him, our height difference unimportant. "If you wanna fuck your girlfriend, take her somewhere else. A hotel, your house, do it wherever you fucking want. Hell, you can do it in public if that's what you fucking want. Just. Don't. Do it. Here." I jabbed my finger at his chest to accentuate each word.

I stepped back, wanting to keep as much distance away from him as possible."This place isn't fully yours. This is also  _my_ damn dressing room, and I don't want you having sex in here. If you can't stop acting like a fucking bitch in heat, do it somewhere else." I shot him a look of disgust. "You disrespected me, Yeager. You better clean that fucking couch or I'll physically hurt you."

Not waiting for his reply I stormed out of the room.

What a great fucking way to try be friends with me, Yeager. You're making me hate you more than I already do.


	6. Act VI

After confronting and threatening Eren, I stormed out of the room, the door slamming shut with barely restrained force. The sound the action has caused resonated throughout the place, catching the others' attention and all turning to look at me. The evident annoyance on my face made them look away quickly, which I was thankful for.

In attempt to try to cool my head off, I started walking to diffuse the anger that was still settled inside me. I knew that I have to go back to the dressing room sooner to get ready for filming, but I don't think that I can fucking handle staying there without the damned sight of them kissing invading my mind.

I wove my way through the staffs and the equipments spread out in the place. No one tried to approach me,  deterred by the scowl on my face that clearly stated my disdain. The lack of interruption enabled me to roam the place faster.

My mind was crowded with thoughts as I mindlessly walk around. Was what I did earlier inappropriate? Am I overreacting by lashing out at Eren? Is it wrong to be mad at them for doing those things in that dressing room?

The answer is no. No matter how many times I asked those questions to myself, I arrived at the same answer. What I did earlier wasn't inappropriate—what  _they_  did was inappropriate. You shouldn't go around kissing in a room that you share with another person—much more a damn heated one that would most probably lead to fucking. I felt disrespected, and that made me lash out at him.

I took a turn at the corner, my feet continuously padding the white-tiled floor quietly. A few meters away from me, beside a line of seats stand a vending machine. Its sight reminded me of the dryness of my throat and soon enough I was making my way towards it. I decided to get a bottled tea, quickly taking gulps of the liquid. It didn't suit my taste that much, but it's better than nothing.

Sitting on one of the provided seats, I leaned back and slouched, craning my head back. My head rested against the wall, my eyes closed as I took deep breaths.

The time I spent walking around fhv place helped my anger dissipate. The crease between my eyebrows were smoothed out, the furious look I had earlier now replaced by the usual nonchalant look on my face.

In the silence of the area, a small noise can be easily noticed. Opening my eyes, I stared at the wall in front of me, the plain flat surface painted in white—like most parts of the building. The floor was void of any people except those who works for the movie, the place looking blank without the bustle of office workers.

Somehow, as I stared at wall, the sight of Eren and Annie kissing flashed in my head. I scowled. What I needed was to stop thinking about it, but I couldn't go one minute without seeing the two of them together on that couch, sucking off each others' faces. It brought back the scowl that my face had on earlier.

Why the fuck can't that scene just fucking vanish inside my mind? I don't want to see that damn sight ever again.

While I was wasting my time like an idiot glaring at the wall as if it offended my ancestors, I heard footsteps coming from the direction I came from earlier. I saw no one at first when I turned my head to the direction where the sound came from. A few seconds after, however, I saw Christa turning at the corner, walking in a fast pace while looking around with wide eyes, as if searching for someone. She looked worried, causing her eyebrows to slightly furrow. When her eyes landed on me sitting by the vending machine, her pace slowed and I saw her breathe out a sigh of relief.

Christa made her way towards me, her steps now more leisure compared to before. She went in front of the vending machine and got herself a can of coffee before sitting on the seat beside mine. None of us spoke at first, the silence hanging above us.

After taking a sip from her drink, she spoke. "I've been searching for you. Why aren't you in the dressing room? I was supposed to get you ready for the shoot."

"Sorry. I have to cool my head off." Christa raised one of her eyebrows at my answer, her curiosity caught by my answer. She was silent while she examined my face. Looking for what? I don't know. In the end she just sighed and stood up before she fixed her gaze at me again.

"Okay then. I won't ask you what happened, but we better hurry up so I can finish your makeup before Director Smith call for you. We don't want to get to his bad side."

Nodding, I stood up and finished the remaining content of my drink, throwing the bottle in the nearest trash can before Christa and I headed back to the dressing room.

Christa was humming some random tune as we made our way back while I stayed silent. The trip back to the dressing room felt longer than it should have, but maybe it's because I don't want to see him. I don't think that seeing his face would help me forget the unpleasant sight that seemed to be burned in my mind.

I wanted to extend the time we took to get back, but I can only do so much until I found myself standing in front of the door, my name as well as Eren's plastered on the flat surface in blank ink. Christa was the first one to enter, leaving the door open behind her. Not wasting any more seconds, I followed.

The first thing I noticed when I entered the room was that it smelled of lemon. Well, more than it used to. Another thing was Eren wasn't to be seen in the room. My eyebrows furrowed, my mind instantly forming up questions, but as soon as it had been brought up, it was ignored just as fast.

I crossed the room and sat in front of the makeup vanity, taking my script from my bag before flipping the pages to get to the scene that we'll shoot later on. I already prepared myself by practicing my lines at home, but it wouldn't hurt to read it again.

Christa began putting light makeup on my face as I recalled my lines. Then realization hit me like a hard slap on my face. I'm going to have a scene with Eren, and not just any scene like the others we've done. Our scenes have been pretty much innocent except for the first one we took but as Erwin, our director, has said, the scenes between the two of us will be pretty much heated.

My heart started to beat fast as I skimmed through the lines--Eren ordering me to stay in his office after the meeting, him cornering me,  _kissing me with his hands sliding through my body._

I had to stop myself from screaming right then and there.

Why, of all days, does this have to be fucking taken now? Why now when we just fucking fought? It would be fucking harder for me to do these shits with me still pissed at him.

I kept my thoughts to myself and acted like nothing was bothering me. That was something I was good at,  _acting._ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I closed the script and placed it on the free space on the vanity. Opening my eyes, I stared at myself in the mirror, telling--convincing--myself that everything will run smoothly.

 _This is work_ , I told myself.  _Work shouldn't be affected by any personal shits._

As I kept on staring at myself, the door opened and Eren entered together with Mina. They went to the makeup vanity designated for Eren and started doing his makeup. I took a glance at him from the corner of my eyes. I was caught off guard when I saw him looking back at me, but I managed to look indifferent.

I was the first to look away. There was no fucking use starting a staring contest with him.

Continuing what I was doing earlier, I managed to get a grip on myself and prepare myself from what's to come. I continued stealing glances towards Eren's direction and I saw him reading through his script. There weren't any sign of discomfort on his face. He didn't look bothered. Maybe I was the only one who did.

Before I knew it, Christa and Mina were done with the makeup. As usual, it was nothing more than foundation, which didn't change what we look like, except that Christa covered up the dark circles under my eyes. Few minutes after that Eren and I were called to the set.

We practiced the scene like what we did before. Reading our lines and walking through the set to correct our blockings. As we did so, the technical team, were preparing the equipments to save time and avoid mistakes during the taping, such as the lighting, the cameras, as well sound checks. Erwin made sure that everything were okay, checking each and every camera to make sure that the angle was correct.

When we were through practicing, Christa and Mina made sure that our makeup was okay. Erwin sat on his "director seat" as the others liked to joke, reading the script to make sure that he got everything covered before calling us. 

"Eren, Levi, are you both comfortable with the scene? Do you want to add or change anything?"

Erwin's tone made us feel like it really is okay to say if we want to change anything. But this is Erwin, we're speaking with. This bastard was one of the greatest film director in the industry, not to mention one of the youngest. He always strives for perfection, and that lead him to what he was today.

Eren and I shook our heads. Erwin smiled.

"Okay, feel free to add whatever you have in mind if you can. I trust you. Let's go for a take."

After those words left his mouth, all of us went to our respective places, waiting for his cue to start.

"Quiet on the set!" I took a deep breath as I stood in the corner, a few feet away from where Eren was standing by the table. The assistant director went beside him, a slate in hand and the camera operator directed the camera towards him.

"Roll it."

"Rolling."

"Speed."

"Scene ten, take one." 

The assistant director snapped the slate shut and Erwin's command rang throughout the room next. "Action!"

Eren, who was acting as Hunter, sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Irritation and disappoinment were painted on his face as he paced in the space in between his seat and the large ceiling to floor glass windows. 

"I can't believe it." The words were said in a low voice, laced with anger. "I can't fucking believe it."

Taking a small, hesistant step, I said, "Please calm down, Sir."

He stopped walking back and forth, his back facing me. His frame was shaking, his hands rolled into fists. "Calm down?!" His voice thundered inside the silent room and without even trying to act, I flinched. He turned around to look at me, the hurt look on his face seemed too genuine that it almost made me believe it. "Tell me, how could I calm down? Have you heard what those fuckers said to me? For years I've been working so fucking hard to make this company better, and I've succeded. But what do they think of me? Nothing. I'm still that troublesome kid who's worth nothing more than shit under their shoes."

My feet started moving, leading myself to him. I stopped when I was in front of him, looking straight into his eyes. His breathing was ragged, his eyes ablaze in fury.

"You know," I started, reaching my hand up to run my fingers through his hair. His eyes slid shut and his breath hitched, one of his hand took hold of my wrist and guided my hand to his face before his hand slid up to cup mine on his cheek. "You shouldn't listen to them. They're just so fucking high up there that they think they were the best, that they were perfect, but they're wrong. You're much, much, much better than them. The things they say to you? It suit them more than you. So don't listen to a word they say."

"Blake..." He sighed, his breathing now coming off slowly, relaxed. "I'm just so sick of being compared to my brother. My brother who fucking ran away from his responsibilities. I don't want to be compared to a man like him. He wasn't a man, he's a coward. He's the reason why I was tangled up in this fucked up web. I never wanted to own this company. But because of his actions, I have no other option than to just suck it up and throw everything I planned for my own future."

I guided him to the chair and let him sit down. I continued comforting him with my touches.

"If you think about it, it wasn't as bad as it seems, don't you think? You got to make this company get back to its feet again after it plummeted down. This company wasn't so far from reaching bankruptcy, but you managed to save it. You saved a lot of people from losing their job. And they were thankful for that."

He stood up and placed his hands on my waist, his head coming to rest on my shoulder. "You really know how to calm me down." One of his arm snaked around my waist while the other trailed up to cup the back of my head. "But I'm not perfectly okay yet. Will you help me?"

I was very aware of everything around us, maybe  _too_ aware, because I can clearly hear the fast beating of my heart as he started leaving soft kisses on my jaw. His bretahing felt hot against my skin, his lips leaving a burning trail on its wake. My hands flew up to his chest, pushing him gently, just like what we were instructed to do.

"W-wait, Hunter, don't. Someone might come in."

"Let them see then. I don't care."

He leaned away and took a look at my face. The hand that's cupping the back of my head was now resting on my chin, his thumb brushing over my lips as he stared at me with a look I couldn't name. It was soft, adoring, and it reminded me of the look that he used to give me years ago.

 _Stop it_ , I scolded myself.  _This is just acting, you goddamn idiot. This is nothing but an act. He's doing it because he was instructed to. Don't be fucking swept away._

Then he was suddenly leaning in, his face getting closer and closer in each second. My brain went haywire. I couldn't control my thoughts. I always prided myself for being able to separate myself from my role, but this time, that thread I'm holding onto was cut off by him as he leaned in closer to me, leaving me falling into unknown depths.

When his lips met mine, my eyes went wide. It was soft and warm, gentle against mine. I couldn't think of anything as he cupped my cheek and leaned in closer, deepening the kiss and I had to remind myself how to breathe.

My hands slithered from his chest to his neck, locking my arms around him. His hands went to my thigh and he lifted me up, bringing me up to the desk and sat me there. Our lips never separated as he did it. I felt his tongue prodded my lips, seeking for entrance.

_Stop it, Levi. Stop it or you'll be hurt._

But my body won't listen. I was aware that there were people around us, but Eren's lips were far too intoxicating for me to even mind them. I can practically imagine Erwin grinning from his seat, pleased with what's happening.

I granted him access and he didn't waste any time to slid his tongue inside. It made me gasp, his tongue mapping out everything it could reach. He tasted like mint, and the fact that he kissed Annie earlier didn't even crossed my mind. My mind was becoming hazy as the kiss went on, unable to form any coherent thoughts.

He broke the kiss and I gasp for air, panting. Eren's mouth then found my jaw, trailing his lips from my chin to the back of my ear and to my neck. His hands were back on my waist, sliding down to my thigh and back to my waist repetitively.

When his mouth found a sensitive spot on my neck, I let out an audible gasp. His grip went tighter on me and his lips seek mine again. The kiss was just as heated as it was earlier. With his tongue was moving against mine, I couldn't deny that he's a damn good kisser.

I did my best to remind myself that this was an act. This didn't mean anything, there's no personal feelings attached. The only feelings that were involved were the feelings of the characters that we play as.

Still I couldn't stop indulging myself with his warmth, his taste. I was falling into something unpleasant, something that wouldn't do me any good in the future, but I couldn't help it.

The kiss was cut off by the knock that resonated through the room. The knock from the door made me snap back to myself. We did what we need to do. I pushed him off me, composing myself as much as I need to.

One of the actors, Jean, entered the room. He looked at us, sighed, then set his gaze on Eren.

"I have to discuss about something with you, Sir. Is it okay?"

Eren nodded and sat on his seat, gesturing for Jean to sit on one of the seats across him before he turned to look at me.

"Blake, you may go now. I'll call you if I need something."

Nodding, I excused myself before I strode across the room when I opened the door to leave, I heard Erwin said something from his seat.

"Cut!"

Christa gave me a bottled water and I drank from it immediately. My throat was dry as fuck for whatever reason. Eren was also standing near the table where he sat earlier as he listened to Erwin, who was smiling widely.

I, however, cannot focus enough to give attention to what he was saying. I was staring at Eren while my thoughts were still in disarray. Despite this, I am clearly aware of the feeling of something crumbling inside me the moment his lips made contact with mine, something buried deep inside resurfacing.

Something that I did my best to forget, a large piece of my past that has burned down to ashes long ago. But I felt it stir and try to be brought back to life once again, just because of a kiss.

I don't like it. I wouldn't let it happen. Because if I do, I'll be surely fucked.


	7. Act VII

After the scene Eren and I had, I wasn't acting like myself. For some fucking reason I was spacing out, my thoughts floating inside my mind, unable to be discerned, to comprehend. I couldn't give attention to anything around me, the sounds were indistinct as if I was under water. It's a good thing that I didn't have much scenes to take today or else I'm sure that I'll be getting shits from Erwin. 

 _Personal things shouldn't affect work._  That's what I always told myself, but it seems like I wasn't listening to my own fucking advice now.

I was lost to my own thoughts when I made my way back to the dressing room. Eren was already inside the place, sitting on the couch as he typed something in his phone. He looked up when I entered the room, regarding me with nothing but a stare. No smile, no greetings, just a simple, blank stare.

I didn't know how to react to that.

During the time I spent with him, I always told myself that he wasn't the same Eren that I knew before. I drilled into my mind that he has changed, just like how I did. But everytime I see him like that, I couldn't help but wonder where the past Eren went and why he let this stranger I'm staring at right now replace him.

Breaking eye contact with him, I went inside and closed the door before heading to where I placed my bag. I don't have any scene left to take for today, Erwin told me earlier, so I just need to wait for a couple more minutes to make sure that he wouldn't call me for any retake or some shits related to my role.

I sat at my usual seat in front vanity, taking out my phone from my bag to check any messages, considering that Isabel tend to ask me to go buy groceries even if it's late. I didn't fucking understand why she and Farlan have to be such huge pain in the ass and forget to check the stocks before it's late and ask me to go fetch some for them.

I was relieved that I don't have to go for a trip to the market. WIth my current state of mind, I don't think that I could even drive home without getting in an accident. Isabel just sent me a message saying good luck, as she did everyday, and Farlan saying that we would arrive late because he has to work overtime. There's nothing important besides that--except if you're going to consider a video of Hange squealing over some shits I didn't give a rat's ass about, which, in my case, is fucking far from being important.

Plenty of times I wonder why I became friends with the lunatic, or why I tolerated being around them while staying sane—it's much fucking easier to succumb to insanity when you're with them rather than fighting for your damn sanity. It has been five years since I've met them and their craziness never subsided.

But if I think about it, if I set all their crazy antics aside, Hange has been a good friend. Sure, Farlan and Isabel were there, but Hange has always been the one I found confiding myself to. Not to mention that they have always been so supportive, going as far as searching for auditions for movie roles, which is why I'm even starring in this movie.

Sending Farlan a message containing nothing but the word 'okay', I placed my phone back in my bag and took the my clothes from the rack to change out of the suit I'm wearing. Going to the bathroom, I took of the clothes I'm wearing and changed into the set I originally wore when I came here in the morning.

Eren was packing up his things when I came out of the bathroom. When I was placing the clothes on a separate rack which is reserved for clothes that should be washed, Eren called me, catching my attention.

I turned to look at him while he was still fixing his things. "What?"

"One of the staffs came here while you're changing." He straightened up and looked up from his bag to set his eyes on me. "He said that we're clear for today and that we would have acting workshop together with the other casts tomorrow."

Looking at him, something once again stirred inside me. The same thing that reacted to the kiss earlier, the same fucking thing that seem to keep on fucking things up for me.

I looked away. My action caused a look of confusion took over Eren's face.

"I see. Thanks." I decided to grab my bag and make dash out of the room. I don't think that staying in this room with him would do any good for me.

My movements were fast as I snatched my bag and strode to the door. I can feel Eren's eyes on me the whole time, wondering why I was acting like this, why I wanted to get away from him as soon as I can, but I didn't let myself ponder about it. It's better that he didn't know the reason why.

When I'm a single step away from the door, my hand harshly clutching the strap of my bag, Eren decided to stop me.

"Levi!"

My steps were stopped in an abrupt halt when he called my name. My hand gripped my bag's strap tighter as I stayed glued on the floor.

Slowly, I turned around to face him. He looked unsure, giving me a glimpse of the Eren back then, and I felt a little pinch in my heart. The brunet opened his mouth only to close it again, repeating it several times until an irritated sigh left me. All I wanted was to leave this room, keep a good distance between the two of us to keep the wall that's holding back my past intact, but he has other plan.

"What the fuck do you need, Eren?"

The irritation that's clearly reflected in my voice made him look more uneasy. His brows were furrowed and he was worrying his bottom lip, eyes searching my face. I was sure that there was nothing but vexation apparent on my face, but he kept on searching.

"I just want to know if I made you uncomfortable earlier."

My eyebrows furrowed and my eyes narrowed at him. "Made me uncomfortable by doing what?"

He stiffened. His body went straight like a log, his shoulders squared. Seeing him act like this, acting more like the past Eren, sent random signals at me all at once. It made me want to be glad that somewhere, the Eren that I knew still exists beneath that stranger, waiting for the right moment to show up. But it also made me want to run away, to hide myself away from him.

"The kiss. Earlier. I..."

"What about it?" I want to finish this damn conversation now.

"I noticed that you tensed at first. I thought that I made you uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel like that."

"No, Eren. I told you before. This is work. All that we do in front of the damn camera, that means nothing. That wouldn't,  _shouldn't_ , fucking affect what we are behind it. In front of the camera, we were lovers. Behind it, we're nothing but co-workers and acquiantances. Stop thinking about whether I'm uncomfortable or not. There are following scenes that are much more heated than that. I don't want to hear you talking shits like this every single time we need to do something like kissing and groping for work."

At first, he didn't reply. He stayed silent as he stared at my face which has nothing but a blank look plastered on it. Then slowly, as if he's making sense of what I said bit by bit, he nodded. I watched as understanding crossed his face.

"Okay, I get it."

I felt relief washed through me. "Good. Now I'll leave."

I was about to make my way out when he called me again. I rolled my eyes and faced him, my arms crossing on my chest, as I gave him an exasperated look.

"What now?"

"I..." He only managed to let out a single word before he started trailing off. He let out a heavy sigh, his hands curling and uncurling at his sides before he fixed his eyes on me. "About earlier, I also want to apologize again. I know that what Annie and I did was wrong and that it made you feel disrespected and for that I sorry. I should've known better than that, and—"

"Stop it."

Eren gave me a confused look. There he goes again. He's fucking apologizing, reminding me of that goddamn scene that I would like to just forget.

"Huh? Why?"

I shot him a glare, one that's more enough to keep his goddamn mouth shut. "Why? Simple. Because I want to fucking forget what I saw. In case you didn't know, I'm not keen on remembering that disgusting sight, and you apologizing for it doesn't help me forget it. Now, if you're not going to say anything that's a bit important, then I will take my goddamn leave."

He didn't reply. He's just looking at me with wide eyes, like he didn't expect me to react like the way I did. What? Did he expect me to say, ' _It's fine, I don't mind it. And I'm sorry for lashing out at you earlier'?_ Hell the fuck no. I may be acting too harsh on him, but I don't care. I'm trying to distance myself from him with any means possible, and acting like this will help me achieve that.

I can't let myself crack more than I already did.

I waited another minute to see if he'll speak but when he didn't, I left. I didn't know how I managed to walk through and guide myself out of the building without harming myself, but I managed to. I'm confused with my actions. I didn't know why I was acting like this, why I was acting impulsively. It felt like I couldn't handle my own emotions and thoughts when Eren was involved, always managing to slip through the cracks of the wall that I had made years and years ago.

Knowing that being around him after such a short time managed to make me act like this, it wasn't a comforting thought.

Out of nowhere, the sight of a younger Eren flashed inside my mind, smiling widely at me, giving me a sight that can put the sun to shame.

*****

Izzy was able to pick that something was wrong from my actions. She was worried and she didn't try to hide it. The redhead kept on asking me what was wrong, what caused me to act like that when I was in such a good mood before I left earlier in the morning, but I proved her actions to be futile. I avoided answering her questions, keeping my thoughts to myself, and I can clearly remember what I said to her.

_'Looks like life just hate me so fucking much that it couldn't let a day pass without it shitting on me.'_

My response was enough to stop her from questioning me, but it was clear that she was worried. Apparently, I was far from being myself since even Farlan noticed it, even though he's tired from his work at the office.

Just like Izzy, he didn't get anything out of me. Even his usual advances on me, such as the subtle touches on my hand, were all deflected.  A little bit of guilt hit me when I saw the hurt look on his face, but I'm not in the mood for his advances.

I went to bed early that night, but I wasn't able to sleep until midnight. After reading a few part of the current book I'm reading, I fell into a pill-induced sleep.

Six hours later, I woke up, got up and went down to make breakfast. I made the batter for waffles, separating some for Izzy, knowing that she would like it if her waffle would be made pink. She has a weird fascination for pink and waffles isn't an exception from that.

I also brewed coffee for Farlan, made a cup of hot chocolate for Izzy and a cup of chamomile tea for myself. I also cooked some bacon and eggs to eat. When I was finished, I cleaned everything that I used and waited for them to wake up.

I didn't have to wait long. A few minutes after, I saw Farlan entered the kitchen and Isabel following him. They thanked me for the breakfast, Izzy obviously delighted to see her pink waffles.

I didn't talk much during breakfast, just silently eating my food as I listened to them—especially Izzy—ramble on. They were fine with it and I silently thanked them.

An hour later, both of them were leaving. When they were gone, I decided to clean the house, knowing that the appointment I had won't be happening until later at ten.

Cleaning helped me remain my thoughts clear. There weren't many things to clean, Izzy and Farlan thankfully made sure of that, so I was finished in no time.  I spent the remaining time bathing and reading and soon I found myself standing in front of the same room that Hange accompanied me to before.

Going in, I saw that no one other than Mikasa and Jean were there. It was rumored that the two were hitting it off, but there's no confirmation.

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. We're not publicly exposed yet, as for Erwin's request, but rumors are already circulating. People nowadays.

I sat at the corner in the back of the room, at the exact place where I sat last time. I took out my phone to entertain myself as we waited for the others to come. There wouldn't be many of us because only those who are in the main cast will be here for the workshop.

Now that I think about it, only the us three and Eren would be here. So the only ones we're waiting for was Eren and the one who would teach us in this workshop.

I checked the time. It's already five minutes past ten. I rolled my eyes. Five years later, Eren still isn't capable of being punctual.

As if called, no other than Eren Yeager sauntered into the room. He walked in as if there's nothing wrong, having an air of nonchalance around him, as if he wasn't late. There's nothing but a blank look on his face as he made his way towards Mikasa, sitting beside her and leaning his head back to the mirror—which didn't say much, with the walls covered with mirrors all around—ignoring the questions that Mikasa sent his way.

I didn't let my focus stay for long at him, shifting it to the woman who entered the room a few minutes after. She gracefully walked into the room radiating elegance. She was wearing a red dress that went down just above her knees, half of her long black hair pulled back while leaving some of it to frame her face. She somehow reminded me of Christa, with the shape of their eyes, lips and nose.

She sat on the chair in the middle of room, looking at the four of us with a small smile on her face. "Now, now. Come closer, you four. I don't bite," she winked, "hard."

We did as she said, gathering in front of her. There were other seats in the room that we can use, but we opted to sit on the floor. The floor was clean enough, I sufficed. Jean was the one sitting on my left side, followed by Mikasa, then Eren, before me. There was a good distance between us so I didn't mind.

"I will be the one to work with you four in this session. Director Smith talked so highly of you, telling me about how much potential you got. It's time to test that out." She looked at us one by one, the smile never leaving her face. "I'm Frieda Reiss. It's nice to meet you."

Frieda Reiss was famous not only for her TV shows and movies but also her theatrical talent. She has received plenty of awards for the roles she played, most I had watched myself, and I couldn't help but be amused that she was sitting right in front of us.

"It would be nice if you would introduce yourselves. Let's start with you." She pointed at Jean, who's sitting at her left beside Mikasa.

Jean stood up. "I'm Jean Kirstein. It's nice to meet you."

Frieda smiled at him. "It's nice to meet you too, Jean."

Mikasa stood up after Jean took his seat. "My name's Mikasa Ackerman. It's nice to work with you."

"It's nice to work with you too."

The next one was Eren. I thought he was going to smile at her, just like what the old Eren would do, but I was once again slapped by the reality. He didn't smile, the flat look on his face not so much as faltered. "Eren Yeager. I have seen a lot of your works and I'm looking forward to learn from you."

She smiled at him, looking very pleased. "I hope that I can teach you as much as I can."

The last one was me. I stood up, faced her, stated my name and sat down. She didn't look offended by my actions, which I took as a good sign.

"Now that we're done with that, let's get this thing started."

*****

Frieda was a good teacher. That's what I told myself as the session went on.

As she told us tips and taught us how to act, I could clearly see the passion that she has for it. She also shared some of her stories to us, which I found really related since we're going through the same thing. I already knew some of the things that she's teaching us, such as how to school emotions on our face, how to convey emotions through our actions and others, but I kept on listening and taking everything in.

She also asked us about our own experiences, preferences and styles, making this feel like a collaborative work. It's not all words, though. She also showed us how to do some things, how to effectively convey what was needed, and how to be in-depth with your character. Frieda always reminded us how important it was to read your script and memorize it days before it needed to be taken so it would be easier to work.

From her seat, she cleared her throat and gave us a serious look. "Listen. In acting, I think that the best tip is to  _be_ who your character are. Know everything about them, understand their past, where they're coming from, what caused them to act like that. Know how they act, how their minds think. Embrace them, no matter what uglies they have. Only then will you be able to  _be_ who they are, not act like them. You need to be the character itself to pull the role perfectly."

She stood up and we watched her as she took something from her bag from the corner of the room. In her hands rests a black pouch. She once again sat on her seat and looked at us.

"Sorry, I was only able to prepare this pouch for today. I was busy you see." She opened the pouch and showed us what's inside.

The pouch held nothing but pieces of paper, but I saw something written on it. I shifted my gaze back to her face and saw a pleased look on her face.

"Now, those papers in there have simple situations in them. And, whoever two persons I chose, would pair up and act the situation accordingly. No script, no others. Everything would depend on how the pair will act. Easy, right?"

There was no response but she looked like she anticipated it. She nodded.

"Let's get this task started now."

 


	8. Act VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words left my mouth before I could even stop it. It felt like I was brought back five years ago, to the day when I saw them together, the day that I felt my heart die. The day that made me stop loving.
> 
> Because loving is nothing but a sweet lie, fooling you with sweet words, kisses and touches but would make you suffer unbearable pain in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I did a shit job on this chapter, but that's what I always do I got used to it. As usual, this is not edited (never got the time).
> 
> The italicized parts were flashbacks.
> 
> Enjoy!

The four of us remained silent as we sat in front of her while her eyes scrutinized us. We were waiting for her to speak—which she didn't do for a few minutes—until she nodded to herself and pointed to Mikasa. She looked more stern right now, more professional than earlier, and I got a feeling that we should take this part seriously.

 

"I think I want you, Mikasa, to be the first one to do this activity and act with him," she pointed to Jean who's sitting beside her, "Jean. Let's see what you two got, hmm?"

 

The two stood up and moved closer to Frieda. Mikasa and Jean exchanged looks, their eyes meeting as if conversing through it, before Mikasa reached out to take a piece of paper from the pouch. Without looking at it, she handed it to Frieda, whose eyes suddenly lit up in something akin to excitement.

 

"Oh goodie, I like this." Her usual cheeriness slipped through her stern facade. Clearing her throat, Frieda's sudden gaiety were gone went back to being serious. "The scene that you got is revolving between two persons who are lovers. Person A is feeling insecure and questions Person B about what they really are and what Person A really means to Person B. What Person A is feeling insecure about depends on you, as well as how things will work out in the end."

 

Mikasa and Jean nodded at her. "Alright, I'll give you a few minutes to talk."

 

Mikasa pulled Jean over to a corner and they started talking. The three of us kept our eyes on them as they conversed silently, nodding to each other if someone approves of something. Their talk didn't last long, only taking up a minute or two, before they went back closer to us.

 

Frieda looked at them, Mikasa and Jean's gaze never wavering. "You two are ready?"

 

"Yes." It was Jean who answered, which wasn't surprising at all. Mikasa isn't much of a talker.

 

"Then take the stage."

 

Eren and I moved back to give them enough space. Jean and Mikasa were standing in front of us, Frieda watching the two of them intently.

 

"Start."

 

Mikasa has her back facing Jean, not a hint of emotion evident on her face. Her body, however, looked stiff as she kept her eyes fixed on the floor. Jean, unlike Mikasa, looked troubled--his brows furrowed while his lips were kept shut in a straight, grim line. He looked conflicted, his eyes showing his uncertainty.

 

He took a step closer to Mikasa. His voice quivered when he called her name. "...Mikasa."

 

"Jean, please. Leave me alone." Her voice was as emotionless as the expression on her face. It sounded hard, cold and detached. She never lifted her gaze from the ground. "Leave me alone."

 

"No, Mikasa. Listen to me." Jean approached her, his movements quick as though she would be gone if he wasn't fast enough. His hands moved to grab her arms, tugging it to make Mikasa look at him. "I need you to listen to me."

 

"Why Jean?" It was like a switch was flipped. Mikasa, who was acting cold earlier and distancing herself from the other, suddenly looked open and vulnerable. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. Her face was screaming hurt, and I can feel emotions rolling off her. It was like I could see the way her heart was torn apart with claws that were too sharp, inescapable with its tight grip.

 

"Why?" The word came out sounding strained. "Why does it feel like that whenever she's around, I become unimportant to you? Why does it feel like I am nothing but a rebound to you?"

 

A shocked look crossed over Jean's face before it turned into one of anger. "What are you talking about?"

 

Mikasa shrugged away fromJean's grip, turning around to face him. Her face was contorted into a mask of anger, hurt and defeat as she looked at him straight in the eye.

 

"Are you that blind not to know what I'm talking about? Whenever she's around, all of your focus suddenly turns to her. It was like I don't exist, like I'm not standing in the same damn room as you. You talk so highly of her and you never fail to not mention her at least once whenever we're together. Don't you know how much that sucks? How much that hurts me? That you can't get over her even though I'm already with you?"

 

Jean looked at her, bewildered with what she said. He was shaking his head as he tried to think of what to say, of what words would comfort her. It was clear that two-tone haired man didn't expect her to call him out, to inform him of his wrong doings, juding by the conspicuous surprise painted on his face.

 

"Mikasa, you're wrong. I'm already over her. You're the one I love now, not her. She's my past and that's all there is to it. She doesn't mean anything to me now, please believe me."

 

Mikasa scoffed. She was looking at him, and I saw in her actions that she felt betrayed by him. 

 

"Then why does everything you do is the exact opposite of what you say?"

 

"Mikasa, you're just seeing things."

 

"Seeing things? Now you're telling me that I'm just assuming?" Mikasa pushed him back, making Jean lose his footing and stumble back before he regained his balance. The look on her face made him stop his decision to get closer to her and chose to stand in his place instead. "No, I'm not! I'm not a person who makes things up, Jean. I know what I see. I know what I feel. And I feel like shit whenever you treat her better than you ever did to me. Do you know how much it hurts whenever other people complimented about how good you two looked together, without knowing that your present girlfriend is standing just a few feet away from you? It kills me, Jean. It also kills me that she knows you better than I do, and that I will never, ever be like her."

 

Jean, who was standing still away from her, looked pained. Like Mikasa, his eyes were now glossed over with unshed tears.

 

It felt like I wasn't watching them act. It felt so real, the emotions coming from them looked and feel so genuine. I can feel Mikasa's doubt, her pain, as well as Jean's desperation to reassure her and stop her from slipping away.

 

I looked at Eren. Nothing but a blank look on his face. I turned back my attention to Mikasa and Jean.

 

"Mikasa, you're wrong. I love you. Like what I told you before, she's in the past now. She was a big part of it so it's impossible to remove her from my life, but that's it. You were the one who's beside me when she left me. You were the one who helped me stand up when I felt like I can't. When she left I thought that I have no worth and stopped caring for myself ,but you prevented me from destroying myself and showed me my worth. You helped me get through the pain of the loss. Without you, I don't think that I would be who I am today."

 

Jean walked towards her and pulled her into a hug. The hug seemed to break whatever barrier Mikasa set up to stop her tears from spilling, causing it to roll down her cheeks and to Jean's shirt. The hands that were resting on his chest started hitting him, but there's just a little strength in each hit. One of his hands was resting on her back, rubbing comforting circles while the other cupped the back of her head.

 

"I want no one but you, Mikasa. What should I do to prove that to you?"

 

"Leave me alone."

 

Jean broke the hug and looked at her in confusion. "W-what?"

 

Mikasa met his eyes. "Leave me alone.The pain, it's tiring, Jean. I need some time to think. Until I make up my mind, until I'm sure that being with you would be the best for me, I want to stay away from you."

 

"But Mikasa, I don't think I could do that. Being away from you."

 

"You need to. It'll be for the two of us."

 

Jean looked like he wouldn't say yes, but he did. He let out a defeated sigh, his breath hitching. "Okay. If that's what you want, fine. Just always know that I love you."

 

Mikasa didn't reply. She just looked at him, tears still spilling, before she turned her back on him.

 

"Good bye, Jean."

 

Then she walked away. Jean was still looking at her direction, standing still before he went down on his knees. Tears started to pour out of his eyes, staining his cheeks.

 

Looking down, he whispered something, his voice sounded broke. "Mikasa, I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

 

Silence filled the room after that. The heaviness in the atmosphere was present even after the act. Then a clap, loud and continuous, broke the silence.

 

Frieda was standing from her seat, the acting obviously got to her. Mikasa went back beside Jean, smiling at each other with tear stained cheeks.

 

"That was good, oh God. Smith was right. You are very, very good at acting. I didn't expect that. It made me glad that I decided not to include script for this and let you decide the flow."

 

Mikasa and Jean expressed their gratitude at the praise before sitting back down on their places earlier. Their eyes were alight with joy as Frieda talked to them about how they could improve their acting more, both of them listening attentively.

 

When Frieda was finished giving us lectures, she took the pouch on her seat and sat, her eyes shifting between Eren and I. It was obvious that we were going to act next and judging by the excitement in her eyes, she was clearly looking forward to see us act.

 

"You already know that you're going next, am I right?" She chuckled before shaking her hand, causing the papers inside the pouch to move, making me feel like it was teasing me. "Well then, let's see what scene you're going to act out."

 

Eren and I stood up. We took a few steps forward until we stood in front of her. I was staring blankly at the pouch for some reason I couldn't say out. It was like there's something that's going to happen the moment I pick one of those papers resting idly inside the black item.

 

Call me crazy, but I have a bad feeling about it.

 

I was cut out of my musing when Eren nudged me with his elbow. "I'll let you pick one."

 

I wanted to say that I have a bad feeling about this, that I don't want to be the one to pick, but I decided otherwise. I bit the inside of my cheek as I gave him a nod and proceeded to get one of the papers, my heart pumping loudly and restlessly inside my rib. The harmless paper seemed to burn my fingers, making my fast heartbeat beat even faster than what I thought was possible.

 

I knew that I didn't have the courage to read what's inside so I handed it to Frieda. Add to that the fact that it seemed to weigh heavy in my hand, which was supposed to be impossible, but it did. It didn't help the feeling of dread clawing out from the depth of my mind.

 

Frieda and the others didn't seem to notice my hastened actions. She took it and held the corner of the folded paper with her nimble fingers. I held my breath as she unfolded the paper and skimmed her eyes through what was written.

 

"It seems like I'm lucky today. Both of you got the heaviest scene I wrote in these papers." Frieda smiled. Her smiled looked calming earlier, but now it was unnerving. Every second that I remained ignorant of what scene we'll act out made the feeling of dread intensify.

 

"I know what I want to see in this scene so I'll assign who will act what. Eren, you will be Person B and Levi, you'll be Person A. Now that that's clear, listen up."

 

I didn't know nor understand why I'm feeling like this. There's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, my instincts blaring, warning me of something unpleasant that's coming. It didn't make any fucking sense for me to feel like this, but it certainly did made me feel like running away.

 

In the end, when the scene unraveled itself as words uninhibitedly poured out of Frieda's mouth, all of the warning and dread made sense.

 

"This scene revolves around past lovers, who met after not seeing each other for a year. Person A caught Person B cheating on them with someone. Again, I'll leave the other details to you."

 

What I heard made me want to bolt out of the room and hide. I don't want to do that scene. Anything except that.

 

"Wait," I called out, causing Frieda to look at me. "C-can we change the scene?"

 

Her head tilted to the side a little as she set her curious gaze on me. "And may I ask you why?"

 

I couldn't think of any excuse. I was raking my head for the right words to say, to avoid getting in the dreadful situation, but I couldn't make up any. My words had failed me.

 

Frieda nodded. "No explanation, I see. Sorry, but that would be unfair. I'll give you a few minutes to talk about it."

 

"We don't need it."

 

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with Eren's mind when he said that.

 

I turned my head to glare at him. "What the fuck—" 

 

He was looking at me with a serious expression on his face. My eyes met his turquoise eyes in the process and it was like cold water was thrown at me.

 

He said that we didn't need time because we already had a story. A scene. Something that was achingly similar to this, hitting almost close to home. A happening in the past that would serve as a support for this, an established scene that happened in the years back, something that I did my best to forget.

 

And now he was asking me to use that happening for this scene.

 

I don't want to. I'm afraid that using that event as a framework for this scene that we have to act would destroy everything I've done in the past years to forget it, to move on from the past. I want to punch him for even thinking of using something too fucking personal.

 

The look in his eyes stopped me from doing so. His face remained blank, but his eyes were pleading.

 

"Levi. We just have to use it as our backbone. It doesn't have to mean anything."

 

Five years. It has been five years but I that I still find it hard to say no to those eyes.

 

"Fine. Let's get this over and done with."

 

Frieda, as well as Mikasa and Jean, looked lost, not understanding anything about the conversation Eren and I had. None of us bothered to explain. We both situated ourselves, standing close to each other with my back facing him.

 

Getting over her confusion, Frieda gave us the cue. "Start."

 

I started to walk away. Eren stopped me from taking another step by grabbing my arm. "Levi, I didn't expect to see you here. How have you been?"

 

I turned to face him but I didn't reply. I was staring at him, my face void of any expression. I was doing my best to hide my emotions, but the truth was, I was scared. I'm not prepared to see what this might bring me, what this might cause me. I'm afraid that this might prove everything I've done in the past five years to stop living in the past futile.

 

"Levi, please talk to me."

 

 _"'How have you been?'_ You really had the guts to ask me that fucking question? After what you did, you don't have the right to ask me how I've been, nor even try to talk to me."

 

I couldn't help but lace venom in each word I spoke. My eyebrows were furrowed and my eyes were narrowed into a glare, all of the anger directed to the man standing in front of me. Whether the anger was nothing but an act or not, I don't know.

 

Eren kept himself calm. "That's in the past now, Levi. Why don't we just forget it and move on?"

 

I harshly tugged my arm away from, the feeling of him against me heavy and unwanted.

 

"Forget it and move on? You think it's that fucking easy to do? You're not the one who suffered between us. It's me. So what gave you the right to tell me to just fucking forget and move on?"

 

Eren looked at me pleadingly. He was reaching out but I swatted him away. I don't want him to touch me. I hate his touches, I hate him. I hate everything about Eren Yeager.

 

"I told you before, Levi. It was a mistake. A huge one. And I'm sorry for it. Why can't you forgive me?"

 

I could clearly remember it. I remembered how I saw Eren kissing Annie, how I pulled Eren off of her. I could remember how I slapped them before leaving the place, Eren's house, with tears racing down my face. I could remember the feeling of having your heart ripped into shreds, of having your trust shattered the way a mirror would do if hit with a strong force. The pain was excruciating, radiating throughout my body.

I could remember Eren running to get to me. His footsteps were heavy as they collided with the floor. _"Please, Levi, listen. I... I didn't mean to do that. It was a mistake."_

 

"'It was a mistake'? _Can you fucking hear yourself? Do you really think I would believe that shitty excuse?"_

 

_He showed me those pleading eyes. Before, I couldn't say no to it. I couldn't refuse him whenever he looked at me that way. But this time, I was repulsed to see it. The hurt look in his eyes didn't help it._

 

_How could he look like that when he was the one who caused this anyway?_

 

_"Believe me, Levi. I wasn't thinking when I did that. I didn't mean to kiss her. I'm sorry. I love you, Levi, believe me when I say it."_

 

_I let out a dry, humorless laugh. I couldn't believe what he's saying._

 

_" Is that how you love then, Eren? Is that how you show your love? By kissing another person even though you're with someone? Does hurting the one you love is how you make them feel loved? Do you think that hurting me will make me feel loved? If it was, I'm fucking amazed by your twisted logic."_

 

_"Please, Love. Calm down. Let's talk this out."_

 

_"Don't you fucking dare call me like that! You can't call me like that after what you've done!"_

 

I remembered feeling so livid. When he touched me, I felt sick in my stomach. The touches that I seek before suddenly felt repulsive. It made my skin crawl in disgust. The touches that set fire on my skin, made me weak, made me feel wanted had changed into something that I abhor.

 

I remembered wanting to feel numb. The pain, it hurts. Not an inch of me didn't hurt, and I never thought that love could hurt so much until then. I didn't know that the pain love can bring you can make you choose death than experience it.

 

_"We've been together for three years, Eren. We've known each other since we were kids. What made you think that it would be great to risk throwing all of that away just to cheat with someone?"_

 

_Eren tried to reach for me again. I couldn't handle the thought of him touching me._

 

_"Don't you fucking touch me."_

 

_Eren stepped back to give me some much needed space. My throat was tight and I can barely take in air as the tears continued breaking free from its confines._

 

_"Aren't I enough, Eren? Did you get bored with me? Are you tired of fucking me that you searched for a new one who could satisfy your needs? Is that it, Eren?!"_

 

_Eren shook his head, his form shaking. There were tears staining his cheeks as he looked at me, eyes filled with pain and regret. "No, Levi. You're more than enough."_

 

_"Then why?!" My body wracked with an onslaught of tears and sob. "Why did you cheat on me?"_

_"Levi. I know, that sorry wasn't enough. I know that saying sorry would never numb the pain I caused you. I have a reason, Love, but no matter how much I don't want you to hate me, I couldn't say it. What I did was wrong and even if you wouldn't forgive me, I'm sorry."_

 

_I wiped my tears off my face, but my efforts were proved to be futile, the tears continuously falling. "You're fucking right. Until I hear the reason behind this, I can never forgive you, Eren."_

 

"Levi, please answer me."

 

I was brought back to the present with Eren's voice calling me. He looked worried, the emotion evident on his eyes as he looked at me.

 

"Why couldn't I forgive you?" I could feel my body shaking with the emotions rolling inside me back and forth, each one coming stronger every time it went forth. The walls I built to keep all of these emotions, all of the pain and memories away broke down, collapsing in a heap of rubble. All of it went out in a huge roaring wave, barely contained. "Let me ask you this: Do you know how fucking much you hurt me?"

 

Eren was expecting me to crack right from the start. I saw it in his eyes. It didn't surprise me, considering that I spent majority of my childhood and teenage years with him. We knew each other like the back of our hands.

 

What he didn't expect, however, was to see me crying.

 

Everything that I've held back in the past five years came running back, like an unexpected flash flood, sweeping and destroying everything in its wake. I couldn't control my tears that're freely flowing, each tear containing the hurt I was hiding deep within me in the past. I forgot everything around me, becoming unimportant, and all of my attention set on Eren.

 

The man that I used to love and thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

 

"It hurt me so fucking much that I'd rather die than bear it everyday. My life revolved around you and when you left, I had no one to lean onto. I kept on asking myself what's wrong with me, what I did wrong for you to just throw everything we built. Everything went downhill after you left. I felt so alone. You don't know how many fucking nights I spent crying myself to sleep. It took years for me before I was able get back on my own feet. Before I left, I was hoping that you would tell me the reason behind your actions, thinking that maybe, I can forgive you. Maybe we can fix everything, turn everything around and make it all right. But you didn't. You didn't betray me once, Eren. You did it twice. And the fact that you didn't tell me the reason made me feel like you didn't trust me right from the start."

 

Words left my mouth before I could even stop it. It felt like I was brought back five years ago, to the day when I saw them together, the day that I felt my heart die. The day that made me stop loving.

 

Because loving is nothing but a sweet lie, fooling you with sweet words, kisses and touches but would make you suffer unbearable pain in the end.

 

Before I completely broke down, I wiped my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt and excused myself, not wasting any second to wait for Frieda's reply before I dashed out of the room, the bandages that held my heart intact for years unraveled, causing it to break into pieces just like how it did before.

 

For the first time in a long time, I was once again vulnerable.


	9. Act IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I gave him everything I could; my love, my trust, myself—all of me. I gave and gave until there was nothing left of me and he took it all selfishly. How much more of myself does he want me to give when I practically have nothing?
> 
> "You killed me, Eren, and up until now, you're still killing me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Levi might be confusing you in this story, with the way he thinks or something, but hopefully I could fix it soon? I dunno.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter :)

Tears blurred my vision as I kept on running. My feet had a mind of its own, leading me through the halls without my mind thinking of a destination. All that's running inside my mind was run, run, run. Get out of this place, get away from the person who hurt me in the past and even in the present.

I passed by people who were standing in the hallway. There were something in their eyes as they watched me passed by them—curiosity, worry, even pity. I hated the look they gave me, I don't need any of that, but I couldn't stop to tell them to keep their prying eyes off me. I need to get out, to escape this suffocating place, to hide from his destructive presence.

So I ignored them. I kept on running, my feet heavily padded through the floor, slightly echoing in the silent place. It was starting to get harder to breathe, my lungs constricting as it tried to get enough air. My legs are already tired, getting heavy and feeling more like lead in each step I take. I chose to take the stairs instead of the elevator, knowing that waiting for the lift to arrive would give him more time to get to me.

Because if it's Eren, I knew that he would come for me, whether his presence was needed or not.

In this case, it wasn't, but it's not like he'll listen. If there was one word to describe Eren, it would be  _stubborn_.

What I said about everything going downhill after he left, it was true. After I left—after he let me leave—I didn't know how to carry on. It may sound and seem absurd to others, but it's the fucking truth, no matter how much I hate it.

Eren and I grew together. We spent majority of our lives connected by the hip. Wherever Eren was, I was also there. We were rarely seen to be alone. He took every 'first' that you can give someone—first hug, kiss, crush. He was my first boyfriend and the one I gave my virginity—the only one I ever had sex with.

I thought that we're gonna be together until we grow old. That he'll be my first and last. We'll graduate high school, go to college, pursue our acting career, work and get married. Maybe even adopt a child or two. But everything I planned were thrown outside the fucking window when Eren decided to replace me.

It has been hell. Eren has been a part of everything I knew. He was the one who served as a pillar of my life, leaving everything in crumble and dust when we broke up. It felt like I was once again a child—lost and inexperienced, having no one but myself to rely on. That was when I discovered how much it sucks to have your world revolve around another person, only for them to leave you.

My view at the world changed when Eren was taken out of my life. What used to be bright and full of life became dull, lifeless, cold. Everything became bleak and pointless. Despite that, my mother, Kuchel, had always been by my side through it. She was the reason why I didn't kill myself, which I was very tempted to do in my desperation to escape the past, the pain that Eren had caused me. She was the one I leaned on to, the only right thing in a world of wrongs, a safe haven.

However, life seemed to like fucking hurling shits towards me. Sur-fucking-prise, a year after Eren and I broke up, my mother died. The cause of death; cancer. She was unlucky enough not to have her diagnosed while it's still early enough to be treated. The cancerous cells spread out rapidly and before we even knew it, she only has a few months left to leave.

With her gone, I have nothing left.

That was when everything hit rock bottom. I once again contemplated the thought of death, but in the end, I chose not to succumb to life's shits. My mother would be disappointed at me if I give up. I would be disappointed and mad at myself for being weak. I don't want to be weak. In this world, there's no room for those who doesn't know how to fight back and defy against life's current.

So in the past five years, I did my best to learn how to depend on no one but myself. I moved on with my life. I didn't let anyone in, didn't let myself fall into the trap they call 'love'. For years I ignored those who made advances on me, those who tried to get my attention, those people who are brave enough to try to make me theirs. I ignored the flirtatious glances, the motives behind every approach. I built walls to protect myself from getting hurt again, because I didn't think that I could get through experiencing that much pain. I became more reserve, more reclusive, ready to lash out at someone who try to get close to me, someone who try to even put a single scratch on my walls.

I taught myself that every move has a motive behind it and not to fall for any traps that life set around me in order to hurt me. I shouldn't trust anyone, shouldn't get attached, so when the time comes for them to leave, I could easily let them go without feeling anything.

It was a coping mechanism, something I set to cage myself in the safety of my own world. I confined myself from anyone, protected myself from the deceiving acts of love.

And now, why the fuck does this has to happen? Why did I let myself break down in front of them, especially in front of Eren? Why did I let everything I hid and kept spill out, let it drown me with the pain that has stayed as nothing but a ghost in the past years? Why did the bandage has to be removed and pour salt on the wounds that I thought had already healed?

Most of all, why did I let Eren have this much of an effect to me?

The sad thing was, I knew the answers to the questions that were flooding my mind. I knew the answers and I hated it. The truth was, maybe I really haven't moved on.Maybe the reason why I was able to think that I already moved on was because he wasn't in my life anymore. And now that he was back with his presence as destructive as a tornado, everything I built was once again left in shambles. Even after five years of being away from him, he still has the ability to walk past my walls like it wasn't there in the first place.

Despite what I went through to change myself, maybe I was still the same weak teen whose world once revolved around Eren Yeager.

My tears already stopped flowing when I reached the first floor. My breath was labored, coming out in heavy pants, beads of sweat rolling down the side of my face, also causing my shirt to clung to my back. A wave of relief rushed through me when the exit came in view, my feet working faster than before, eager to leave the place.

"Levi!"Eren's voice sounded not too far away, causing me to panic. Why the fuck does he have to have such long legs? It would be hard for me to outrun him.

"Shit, shit, fuck," I muttered under my breath. There were a lot of people going in and out of the place and I took advantage of my short stature to blend in with the crowd, blending myself while pushing my way through the throng.

"Levi! Where are you? Please wait for me!"

Fucking hell. I'm obviously running away from him and there he was, asking me to wait for him. Is he fucking mad? Can't he see that I don't want to talk to him, much less be around him?

Once I stepped foot outside, the claustrophobic feeling that confined me vanished into nothing, allowing me to breathe a little better. The sense of security that washed through me for being in the open was gone as soon as it happened when a hand grabbed my arm, halting my footsteps, the firm grip forcing me to stop. I tried to break his grip from me but his hold on me only tightened, to the point where it almost felt like my blood would be cut off.

I turned to face him, glaring. "Let go."

His turquoise eyes held my gaze. I expected to see it burning with defiance and intensity, but no. It was blank, almost rivaling to the one that I had mastered for years. "No. I won't let go of you until you talk to me."

His words made my blood boil in anger, causing my stomach to twist in unpleasant ways. "There's nothing to talk about." My words were filled with hate, sharp enough to cut through him. A flash of hurt made its fleeting appearance in Eren's eyes, something that was gone so fast I wasn't sure if it really was there a second ago. His face remained blank through it, which made the same thought pop inside my mind, one that he was proving more and more each day.

He wasn't the same boy that I used to love. This one was a stranger. The old Eren was gone.

If he could do it, then why couldn't I do the same?

Why couldn't I completely become someone that he didn't know, someone who wasn't affected by his presence? Someone who doesn't resemble the boy who once loved this man who's standing in front of him, who loved this man so much to the point where it destroyed him?

_Why?_

His blank gaze felt like poison that rapidly spread throughout my system, killing me. I want to get away. I need to get away.

"Would you please fuck off? How many times do I need to fucking say that to drill it to your damn mind?"

"I need to talk to you, Levi."

I scoffed. "About what? Your infidelity? How you broke my fucking trust? What?"

His eyebrows furrowed, his eyes now filled with desperation as he look at me. "No, Levi. Not that."

"Then what?" I shook my head, forcing out a fake laugh. "Wait, maybe you want to talk about how you fucking  _destroyed me_?!"

His grip on me faltered, obviously taken aback with what I said. I took it as my opportunity to leave, swiftly slipping out of his grasp and darted towards the direction of my car.

Getting over his shock, Eren quickly followed me, taking advantage of his long legs. Placing his hand on my shoulder he turned me around, locking me in place with another hand on my shoulder. Everything seemed to vanish around us, closing in on us, once again confining me.

"You never let me explain."

"Because I know that your explanation would be full of shits. " I glared at him, forcing back the tears that's threatening to once again spill. I refuse to once again break down, refuse to give him the upper hand by letting him know how much control he has over me. "I gave you the opportunity to explain before. For months, I waited, but what did you do? You acted like nothing happened, like we didn't happen. So don't you ever think that I didn't give you a second chance because I did. I gave you so many fucking chances every single day, time and time and time, and again, but you're the one who wasted it.  _I_  wasn't the one who gave up.  _You_  were the one who  _made_  me give up."

He didn't talk, as if processing the words that he heard for the first time, trying to make sense of it. Silence settled over us like a thick veil. His hold on me didn't loosen, keeping me still, his eyes fixed to the ground between us.

Then he looked up, and that's when I knew that I wasn't the only one who's falling apart by the seams. His eyes were full of hurt, of hatred, but the hatred wasn't for me. It was for himself.

He hated himself for breaking me, for being the cause of my pain. He hated himself for not living up to his promise that he would never make me cry, that he would be beside me until the day we die. He hated himself for being the reason why I'm like this, broken and unfix-able,

"I'm sorry, Levi. I know that words weren't enough to heal you, to fix you, but I'm saying it. I'm very, very sorry." His eyes were glossed over with tears and it felt like I was looking at the old Eren, the one who wore his heart on his sleeves. Being that close to him made me notice the dark bags under his eyes, red and sleep deprived. His hair was a huge mess, more so than usual.

Looking at him made my chest constrict in the most painful way, causing me to look away.

"I loved you, Levi. I really did. You knew it, didn't you? I know that you did. I know that you felt it. You were my everything. My world revolved around you—"

"Then why did you do it?" Once again, my words left him speechless. "If what you said was true, if you really did love me, if everything you showed me before is everything but an act to woo me, then why did you fucking do it? Why did you cheat on me?"

I expected no response from him and that's what I exactly got. The silence felt suffocating, filling my lungs and restricting me to breathe. The world seemed to spin as my mind danced with it. I wanted to breakdown and curl up on the floor, close my eyes shut and cover my ears and forget that all of these happened, but I couldn't. If I do, then that would only mean that he won and everything I did for the past years were nothing. I need to at least get out of here and away from him with my dignity intact.

"Levi, I don't want you to forgive me, but I don't want you to hate me. Even after everything that happened, you're still my best friend. You know me better than anyone else could ever hope for. I couldn't live on knowing that my best friend hate me. "

His arms fell to his side, freeing me. I took a step back and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, feeling it hitch as I did so.

When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me and I forced myself to meet his eyes head on.

"You know nothing of what I have to endure after we were through. You know nothing about the pain, of the tears I wasted, of the lonely nights. It's fucking maddening. You were still more lucky than me because even after I left, you still had someone to confide to, to take strength from. You have Annie, your mother, your friends. Me? I lost everything. I have nothing left for me because I fucking gave all of it to you. And it was a damn mistake, one that I regret and refuse to do again. I don't want to go through that again, Eren. I'm done with self-inflicted pain. I don't want to lose myself in the pain caused by you."

I gave him everything I could; my love, my trust, myself—all of me. I gave and gave until there was nothing left of me and he took it all selfishly. How much more of myself does he want me to give when I practically have nothing?

"You killed me, Eren, and up until now, you're still killing me."

Tears started to roll down my eyes without my permission. Words between us started to tear us apart more and more and I can feel claws clutching tight on my heart painfully, reaching deep down to my core, my chest, ripping my heart out, unwrapping the bandages that was keeping it together, not letting the shattered pieces be left strewn on the floor.

"I am so fucking glad that I met you. You were the best damn thing that ever happened to me and I won't regret a single second that I spent with you. We both knew that you were too good for me, that you deserve better, but you still stick with me. It made me the happiest person in the world when you told me you love me, when you gave your heart to me. I promised to take care of it, but I did the exact opposite. I broke you and I deeply hate myself for what I did. " He smiled at me, a smile full of sadness that I want it to be gone and forgotten. "I want to tell you everything. I want to tell you the reason behind my actions, but I can't. If only I could, then I would fucking do it if that's what will make you stop hating me, but I really couldn't. Not yet."

He took a step closer and lifted his hand to cup my cheek, his eyes struggling to hold back the tears that were threatening to flow down his eyes like streams. His hand was warm, but no matter how good it felt, it wasn't good for me. It was toxic, harmful like a drug, and I refuse to let myself relapse.

"I'm sorry, Levi. I really am. You mean so much to me. I was blessed to be loved by you and that three years we were together, those three years that I was able to tell everyone that you were my lover, were the best three years of my life. I wouldn't exchange it for the world." His words were strained, and it felt like it physically cut me.

Why did he have to keep on doing this? Why did he have to say these things to me? It's already too late. He can't make everything right. He can't turn us back to what we were before.

It's too late for everything.

My phone went off, giving us a much needed break. Trying my best to even my breathing, I answered the call, pressing it close to my ear.

"What is it, Farlan?"

I heard a sigh of relief coming from the other line. _"Could you go check on Isabel? She was brought to the hospital after collapsing during her class. I still have to talk to my boss and clock out before I can leave."_

Noticing the urgency in his voice and the worry that built up inside me, I replied, "Yeah, okay. I'll go there."

_"Thanks, Levi. I'll send you the address."_

"Okay." I ended the call. I turned to look at Eren who's still looking at me with the same expression, sadness, guilt and regret.

Placing my phone back to my pocket, I met his eyes one last time.

"Stop it, Eren. Stop hurting me."

And without waiting for his reply, I walked away, without any knowledge of the tears that succeeded to break out and stain his face.


	10. Act X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You did nothing wrong, Levi. You did everything you could."
> 
>  
> 
> "Then why did he leave me?"
> 
>  
> 
> Hange's look at me softened, their smile sad. "Maybe you two aren't just meant to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So updates of this book are sporadic (I'm not able to write much nowadays). Also, this is unedited, but I hope that you'll still like it. :)

  


My mind was too occupied as I drove my way to the hospital, causing me to almost got myself in an accident too many times which could've caused another person for Farlan to visit in the said hospital. My thoughts of Eren and the past was swept under the rag and replaced by the worry I feel for Izzy. It's good to have a distraction, but not something like this.

  


As soon as I parked my car, I stepped out of the car and went inside the hospital, asking for Izzy's room. The receptionist even had the time to try flirt with me when all I wanted was to get to where Izzy was resting. The flurry of emotions inside me caused me to get more impatient than usual.  After telling her to just give me the goddamn room number, basking in the scared look that took over her face after I threatened her with my sharp words and a deadly glare, I turned to walk to the direction where I could find Isabel without forgetting to give the girl with plenty of view of my middle finger when she asked for my number. Where's her professionalism?

  


"Room 203...where the fuck are you?" I muttered irritably under my breath. I continued to trudge through the almost empty halls, the smell of antiseptic too strong it burned my nostrils. After a few more minutes of walking, I let out a sigh of relief when I found her room.

  


I slowly opened the door, careful not to disturb anyone, Izzy more so than the others who might be inside. As I slipped my head in first, I saw Izzy laying on the hospital bed, talking silently with Hange. Noticing my arrival, they looked at me and stopped their conversation to greet me as I completely entered the room, closing the door silently.

  


I made my way towards them. As I got closer to the two of them, I noticed how pale Isabel was, looking less energetic than she usually was, but still bubbly enough to grin at me. There were times when I couldn't get how she could be so happy almost all the time, like problems didn't really affect her, but now I was thankful that she was like that. Seeing her smiling at me as if everything's fine removed the needle in my chest, my worry instantly dissipating, even a fraction of the heavy feeling that my conversation with Eren left behind. When I stood at the bedside, giving her a scolding look.

  


"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Isabel?"

  


She smiled apologetically, looking at me like she knew that this was coming. "Sorry, Big Bro. I wasn't careful."

  


"Wasn't careful? Of fucking course, you aren't! You're abusing your body and look at where it brought you. You're lucky that you collapsed during your class. What if you hit your head on something? What if you collapsed while you're walking on the streets? You could've fucking died!"

"I know, I'm sorry."

  


"As if your sorry could change anything!"

  


The words were out of my mouth before I could even think. Isabel and Hange was staring at me with worried expressions, obviously knowing that something was wrong with me.

  


Why the fuck do I let myself slip? This wasn't the time for us to talk about me or my problems. We should be focused on Izzy. She's the one who's confined in a damn hospital.

  


"Levi, is there something wrong?"

  


I turned to look at Hange, giving them a warning look. "No, there's nothing wrong. Because Isabel obviously isn't laying on a damn hospital bed because she wasn't taking good care of herself." I shifted my gaze towards Isabel. "And you, how many times do I have to tell you not to tire yourself too much? I know that you want to pass your classes, but that doesn't mean that you're going to work yourself to death. I think it's fucking clear as day that you wouldn't even be able to go through this semester if you're dead."

  


Isabel stuck out her bottom lip, pouting. She crossed her arms at her chest. "I said sorry, didn't I? It's just that I didn't want to fail and disappoint you or Farlan." Her eyes shot down to look below her, avoiding eye contact with me. She was guilty.

  


Looking at the guilty expression that took over her face, I let out a sigh, lifting a hand to her head to ruffle her hair.

  


"Fine. I accept your apology. Just...don't force your body to work too much, okay?"

  


Isabel instantly lightened up, like a light bulb after the switch was flipped. "Okay. Thanks for worrying about me, Big Bro."

  


I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I turned my gaze on Hange, who's sitting silenty across me. "Hange, what are you doing here?"

  


Hange stared at me incredulously. "What? That's what you're going to say after I hurried to get here?"

  


"What do you want me to fucking say?"

  


"Maybe a small 'thanks' would do, considering that I went here after Farlan called me since he couldn't reach your phone." Their tone suggested that they were saying something that was so fucking obvious.

  


My eyebrows knitted together. "Really?" So that's what the sigh was for.

  


"Yeah. Looks like he was able to contact you though, considering that you're here now." Hange shrugged. "So, what happened? You look like shit."

  


"Fuck off." It was obvious that I was hiding something, but I didn't care. It wasn't the time to talk about this. Actually, there's no time to talk about this to them. I don't want them to get involved in something that they didn't witnessed. It was in the past and I don't need their pity.

  


"Seriously, though. You look like shit. Go fix yourself in the bathroom first, will you?"

  


I fucking know that I look like shit considering all the crying that I just went through. I certainly don't need a damn reminder.

  


"Wow, thanks, Shitty Glasses. I don't need to be fucking reminded."

  


They laughed, pushing me towards the direction of the bathroom, slapping my ass once in the process. "Just go, Shorty."

  


I glared at them. "Fuck you."

  


Both of them laughed while I stomped my way to the bathroom. When I got to see what I looked like, I couldn't help but scowl. Hange was right; I do look like shit. My eyes were puffy and red, my cheeks stained with the tears that I let out earlier. For some reason why hair was also a mess, maybe from all that running that I did.  What did that receptionist saw to even try flirt with me?

  


Turning the faucet on, I washed my face until it was cleared of tear stains. I couldn't do anything about the puffy eyes so I just have to endure it until it's gone.

  


Now that my worry for Izzy's condition was gone, I couldn't stop my thoughts from slipping to earlier events. For five years, I've been keeping all those thoughts to myself, all the things that I wanted to say to Eren that I wasn't able to say. We didn't end up in good terms--that is fucking obvious--and there's no closure that happened between us.

  


Before, I thought that if I was able to clear things with Eren, maybe my chest wouldn't be feeling so heavy through the years. That maybe, if we were able to talk, if we were able to end everything between us in a more acceptable manner than watching it slip away from our grasp, then maybe, I wouldn't have felt that hurt. But now that we already talked, I was proven wrong. It didn't help clear the heavy feeling that's been weighting me down for years. Instead it brought confusion. It just made me all the more lost than I was before.

  


He didn't tell me why he even did what he did in the first place before. He didn't try to explain himself after the day I caught them. And here we were now, plenty of years later, and he still didn't tell me. He didn't tell me anything of what I want to hear, but he told me things that I didn't ever want to hear from him again.

If he really was grateful that he was able to have me, then why did he chose to throw me out like I was nothing but trash, a broken toy that he didn't want anymore? If he wouldn't exchange the years that we were together for the world, then why did he just turned around and leave me with nothing, choosing to go to where Annie was? Most of all, why couldn't he say the reason why he chose to abandon everything we built along with our dreams?

  


Obviously, I wasn't enough to keep him by my side.

  


But where did I lack? I gave him everything I could. I left myself bare and open to give him everything I was capable of, knowing that in exchange I would be home. Because he was home. He was where my heart and soul reside in, basking in the warmth of his love, keeping everything alive by his light. I didn't know what more I could give him, because I was all his. There's nothing more I could offer.

  


Maybe I wasn't really enough. Maybe he saw what I was lacking in Annie, someone who could provide him everything he needs. And with that he left me, alone in a deadly blizzard with nothing to protect me from the cold, because he took all of me with him when he left.

  


The emotions that were long buried and kept dormant came to life, and for the first time in a long time, I was regretting something. I regret that I talked to Eren.

  


I couldn't help but think if accepting the role was a good decision. I was second-guessing whether I would accept the role or not at first after I discovered that I would be acting with Eren, but I wouldn't allow him to hinder me from reaching my goal. I thought that I could handle it, that I wouldn't be affected by him and our past, but I was so damn wrong.

  


I shook my head. I need to stop this and get out or Izzy and Hange will start to worry. I was taking too fucking long inside the bathroom.

  


Composing myself to my usual stoic self, I took hold of the doorknob and allowed myself to get out, noticing another person in the room. It was Farlan, still in his work clothes. He brought a basket of fruits with him, one of the apples already being eaten by Hange. That fucker. Wasn't Izzy the one who's sick?

  


I smacked Hange's head when I got near enough to do it, causing the apple that they're holding to almost fall to the floor if they didn't catch it before going to the opposite side of the bed beside Farlan.

  


Hange was holding the part where I smacked them. "What was that for?"

  


"Izzy's the one who's sick, not you. She should be eating the damn apple, not you, fucking Four Eyes."

  


Farlan nudged my side with his elbow softly. "Hey, Levi. It's fine."

  


Hange didn't look offended. I wasn't surprise. "Fine." They settled their eyes on Isabel who's looking at us in amusement. They offered their half-eaten apple to her. "Want some?"

  


I cringed. Fucking Hange. Isabel just shook her head while laughing. Farlan was also shaking his head, but his was caused by disbelief.

  


Isabel stopped laughing, but a smile was still etched on her lips. "Watching you and Big bro fight is always so amusing."

  


Hange cackled, the sound irritating to the ears. Couldn't they fucking tone down their voice? "Even through we're constantly fighting, I know that Levi there loves me."

  


"I don't."

  


They set their eyes on me. "Yes you do, darling. That's why we're going to talk outside. Now."

  


Fuck. I should've seen this coming. Once Hange set their mind on something, they wouldn't let it go until they're satisfied. And Hange is a very curious person. They see everything, hear everything, so the little slip up that I had earlier surely pricked their interest.

  


"No, Hange. What the fuck are we even going to talk about anyway?"

  


"I'm pretty sure that there's a lot to talk about, Levi." Hange looked serious, something that I rarely see, but I knew that if they looked like that, it means serious business. There's no getting away from this.

  


I let out a huff. "Fine."

  


"Excuse me but," Farlan looked at the two of us, a confused look on his face, "did anything happen earlier while I wasn't here?"

  


I shook my head. "Nothing." I tilted my head to look at him straight in the eye. "I'll...I'll let you and Izzy know about it soon." There wasn't a point to hide it anyways.

  


Before Farlan could reply, Hange stood up and went to me, taking my hand then pulled me out of the room. We went on like that, Hange walking in a fast pace while pulling me while I was forced to keep up with their long strides. We didn't stop until we reach the elevator that would being us to the rooftop of the hospital.

  


We were silent as the elevator rode its way up to the rooftop. The silence was uncomfortable because it was Hange I was with. There were no silent times when it comes to Hange, but that was what's happening now.

  


The elevator door opened and we were met by strong gush of winds. Hange and I stepped out of the small space and into the large open ground in silence. They were the one who took charge and walked towards a bench at the corner, sitting on it before looking at me with an expectant look. Complying to what they want, I made my way towards them then sat on the empty space beside them.

  


I made no move to start the conversation, just staring at the space in front of me. The wind was cool against my skin, but I couldn't relax. Not with the heavy atmosphere surrounding us.

  


"Hange--"

  


"Levi--"

  


I turned my head to look at them and was once again met by the serious look on their face, their eyes showing the same intensity. It was unnerving, but I did my best to keep my expression schooled to my usual blank look. I'm not used to this side of them.

  


"Aren't you going to say anything, Levi?"

  


"There wasn't anything to talk about."

  


Another wave of silence crashed upon us before Hange left out a sigh. They shifted on their seat so they could face me before placing one of their hands on my knee.

  


"Would you please stop lying to me, Levi? I know that you're hiding something and I know that something happened. And whatever that something is, I know that it wasn't good. How many times do I have to remind you that you don't have to hide anything from me?"

  


Hange's voice was desperate, their eyes looking at me pleadingly. As I stared back at them, I can feel myself crumbling, the tough act that I put on earlier slowly breaking down.

  


"You remember Eren, right?" I didn't know how to start so I started with the pathetic question.

  


Hange's eyes lit up in acknowledgement before nodding. "Of course, I did. He was such a fine specimen. It would be hard to forget someone like that. I mean, look at that tan! And his eyes, it's gorgeous. I'm--"

  


They stopped talking when they saw me glaring at them. "Sorry, sorry. Continue."

  


"Considering that you knew who I was fucking talking about, then I'll continue. What I said about us being friends before, it wasn't a lie. But, that isn't the complete truth."

  


My gaze fell on the floor. Hange squeezed my knee reassuringly. "Go on."

  


"We truly were friends before. Best friends even. We were always seen together. It was in middle school that I discovered that I had a crush on him, but I didn't have the guts to say it to him. I knew the consequences that the action might cause, and ruining our friendship was the last thing that I wanted to do..." My throat closed up, forcing me to stop talking. Remembering this now was such a cruel joke. I'm afraid to ruin the friendship that I had with him? Well look at where that friendship was now. "But during our freshman year in high school, he confessed. He told me that he has feelings for me since middle school, and asked me if I could be his boyfriend. I agreed, of course. I was in love with him and hearing him say those words to me, it was ecstatic."

  


The memory was still clear to me. We were resting by the lake that day, me sitting on the clean patch of grass a few feet away from the water while he's laying on the ground, his head perched upon my lap. He was unusually touchy, his fingers playing on my thigh, my hands, my stomach. He also looked nervous, which didn't really fit the usually confident Eren. He was staring at me when he suddenly sat up, running back to where his father's car was parked then took something inside before he went back to me, but with a bouquet of flowers in hand and a red face.

  


"It was great. He was a great lover. He was sweet, kind, caring. He's all you could ask for. He's all I could ask for. The guy I love for years finally loved me back, so I gave him everything I could. For me, everything was perfect. Even though we're different in so many ways, we both love acting, something that our drama teachers took advantage of, giving us the lead roles for our school plays one after another. It was amazing. I felt happy and loved. It was the best years of my life.

  


"But one day, he changed. He stopped texting me. He never called me. When we're together, he acted like I wasn't even there, always giving me a cold shoulder. I didn't know why he was acting like that, but I did my best to get his attention. I didn't succeed. I was supposed to surprise him one day so I went to their house, but I was the one who got fucking surprised instead. And it wasn't a good one."

  


I took a deep breath to calm myself. Hange decided to rub my back, their touches comforting. "You know that I hate cheaters, right? My father cheated on my mother when I was a child. Eren knew that. He knew everything about me. But in spite of knowing that, he still decided to do it. He cheated on me with Annie. I...I saw them kissing when I got to his room."

  


"You know, Levi," I looked up from the floor to meet their gaze. "I kinda had a clue of what Eren was to you after meeting him. I saw the hatred in your eyes, but I also saw the pain. I didn't question you about it because I want you to be the one to open up. I don't want to invade your privacy. But now that I heard what happened, I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to talk."

  


They really did sound sorry, but there's nothing for them to be sorry about. None of it was their fault, and I think that I do need someone to tell this about.

  


"He never explained himself." Hange looked at me, encouraging me to go on. "He never told me the reason behind his actions. It hurts, Hange, because it made me felt like he didn't trust me at all. We didn't end our relationship with some closure. It--it just slipped out of my hands and before I even knew it, we were over. I didn't even know where we started to go wrong. Am I not fucking enough for him? Did I do something wrong? Because as far as I knew, loving him was the only thing that I did. Was it wrong for me to want to be loved back?"

  


Despite the ache that resides in my chest, the constricting feeling of the claws of the past gripping on it tightly, I couldn't cry. The tears were already drained earlier. Once again, Eren took everything that I had.

  


"You did nothing wrong, Levi. You did everything you could."

  


"Then why did he leave me?"

  


Hange's look at me softened, their smile sad. "Maybe you two aren't just meant to be."


	11. Act XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Didn't you think you hurt me enough?" Farlan tried to get closer to me by taking another step but I took a step back, maintaining the distance between us. "Could you at least tell me why you don't even want to try? Haven't I proven myself to you enough?"
> 
>  
> 
> "There are enough reasons behind for me to do this, Farlan. Once you knew it, you'd understand where I'm coming from. You'll understand why I don't think that it was worth the risk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very messy and rushed, meaning that it also wasn't edited (when did I ever edit my works?).
> 
> Also, English isn't my first language, but I'm trying to minimize my mistakes. Please be good to me.

  
"Maybe you two just aren't meant to be." Hange's voice was soft and mellow, words coming out slowly and carefully as if they didn't want me to be in more pain than I already was, but the words didn't sound like that when it reached my mind. It was loud, it was deafening, and it sure as hell wasn't any less painful. Their words were echoing inside my head, repeating the message torturously.

  
No matter where you look, it was the truth. No matter how perfect my life and relationship with Eren has been, it still didn't matter if we weren't meant to be together in the first place. Maybe life was just being good to me and let me experience something that was supposed to be kept forever, something that made me feel happy and alive even just for a short period of time. Or maybe it was being a fucking tease and let me have a taste of something perfect, something that was all I ever wanted but would never get. Or maybe it was just a fucking dick to take everything that I had in a chain of twisted events and wake me up from the rose-colored dream that I had mistaken from reality.

  
But I already accepted that truth, didn't I? That was the reason why I agreed without hesitation when my mother asked me if it was okay for me to move out and leave what I had in that town behind. That was why I did my best to forget every stupid little things that reminded me of him, the reason why I built what I thought was a better version of me.

  
I broke my gaze away from Hange and set it on the floor, my hands helplessly clenching beside me.

  
"Are you okay, Levi?" Am I okay? How am I supposed to answer that? Before, I wouldn't find it hard to lie to them and tell them that I'm okay with a straight face just to hide that I'm not. This time, it's different. That encounter with Eren ticked everything off balance, leaving me teetering over the shitty edge. My mind was screaming something incomprehensible to me, emotions I had never experienced for a long time coming at me like strong waves, unrelenting. How am I supposed to say that I'm fucking okay just to not make them worry?

  
"I'm not, Hange." My voice cracked, waves of emotion slowly pouring out of the cracks that Eren left behind on my wall. "I'm not okay. Not sure if I ever fucking was."

  
"You don't have to be okay. No one was asking you to be okay." Hange scooted closer to me, bringing their arm up and settled it over my shoulder before pulling me closer to them. "Thank you for being honest with me, Levi."

  
Silence fell between us like a blanket while Hange was letting me compose myself out of the wreck that I had been. I took deep breaths to calm the rage that was flaring up inside me, sorting through the mess that was my thoughts. After letting some more minutes to pass by in silence, I spoke, my voice still unsteady.

  
"If only I knew much earlier that Eren was the other lead, I wouldn't have taken this fucking role."

  
"Then why didn't you back out of it when you saw him after the first meeting? He was the reason why you looked so pale and sick back then. Did you really think that I didn't notice it?"

  
I supposed that this was a great time to scowl at them but I didn't have the energy or will to do so, prompting to just slump on the seat instead, eyes still fixed on the ground as my mind flew back to the time where I saw him again for the first time in years. It felt like seeing a ghost. My blood ran cold. My heart rate accelerated. My breathing came out heavily, knees as sturdy as a fucking jelly. Seeing the boy who broke me in a form of a grown man was an experience that I wouldn't fucking forget. It wasn't pleasant. It's shit ton of miles away from it.

  
"You want to know why I still went for it? Why I thought it was a good idea to take the damned role even after knowing that I will be paired up with Eren?" I looked up and locked my eyes with the, face twisted up into a look of exasperation. "I went for it because I thought that I was over it. I thought that I was over him. I wanted to prove to my fucking self that what happened in the past wouldn't affect me now. I told myself that I wouldn't let him hinder me from achieving my dream. He already destroyed me once so like hell if I would let his presence steer me away from the dream that I had worked hard for. My pride wouldn't be able to take it. I thought that I was handling it fine, but I... I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong.

  
"I don't love him anymore. That I was sure of. The affection and everything pleasant I used to have for him before were all dead and forgotten. But the anger, the hate, those didn't go away. I hate him, Hange. He was the reason why I don't have anything left to myself anymore-"

  
"You're wrong, Levi." Hange cut me off. "You have me. Isabel and Farlan, too. You have us. We'll never leave you."

  
"But that doesn't mean that I would ever be whole again. Eren killed me, Hange. He fucking killed a part of me. That part of me wouldn't ever come back. That part of me would remain hollow for as long as I breathe and live."

  
A torn expression took over Hange's face as they listened to my words. "Levi..."

  
"I wanted to show Eren that he wasn't able to keep me down forever. I wanted him to know that I could become better without him around. Look where that led me? It led me to nothing." I shook my head, a bitter smile tearing its way to my lips. "Nothing because I wasn't even over what happened before. I may be over loving him, but I still hate him. This hard feeling wasn't gone. I don't think it would ever be gone."

  
"I..." Hange sighed irritatedly, biting their lip harshly. "Why did my words fucking fail me when I needed it the most? I'm sorry, Levi. I know that I should say something helpful to you, But I couldn't think of anything that would lift you up."

  
I shook my head. "Don't be sorry, Hange. It wasn't your fault. I don't know what I should say to myself, so don't beat yourself up for it." Standing up, I turned to face them. "Let's go back before they start thinking that I threw you off the rooftop."

  
"I wouldn't be surprised if they think so."

  
"That's because it's not far from happening. Maybe I should just push you off the building now. It might help me feel fucking better."

  
They laughed at what I suggested, standing up before both of us started walking, Hange falling a step behind me. "Might as well. At least they can bring me to the emergency room fast. This is a hospital after all."

  
"Fuck off, Shitty Glasses."

  
*****

  
Isabel out of the hospital only after a day, considering that nothing too bad happened to her. After consulting with the doctor, we left the hospital then drove home, Isabel acting like her usual annoying, energetic self.

  
"Ahh! Outside world is much better than what was inside the hospital!" Isabel had the car window beside her down, almost bouncing on her seat from the backseat. Watching her from the rearview mirror I rolled my eyes, crossing both my arms on my chest.

  
"Stop that, Isabel. You've only been admitted for a fucking day."

  
Isabel tore her gaze away from the window to look at me. "I don't care. Being in the hospital was so lonely. It was too silent. No way of getting enjoyment whatsoever."

  
I'm fucking aware of how lonely it was in a hospital. I spent more than a month in there beside my dying mother. "Whose fault was it that you were in that hospital in the first fucking place?"

  
"I know that it was my fault, Big Bro. No need for you to roast me for it again. I knew better than to overstrain myself now. Would that satisfy you?"

  
"Isabel's fine now, Levi." Farlan butted in from his place in the driver's seat, glancing at me and Isabel for a moment before fixing his eyes on the road again. "You can stop lecturing her for it. She's old enough to know what she has to do to take care of herself."

  
"You heard that, Big Bro? Even Farlan took my side and agreed with me!"

  
"I didn't took your side, Izzy."

  
I set my eyes on Farlan with an unimpressed look. "She's old enough to know but she's still shit at doing it."

  
Farlan shook his head, a hint of smile making ghosting the corner of his lips. "You really are something, Levi."

  
"What's that supposed to fucking mean?"

  
Isabel leaned from her seat behind, sticking her head between Farlan and me. "Stop flirting around with Levi, Farlan. Do it when you're alone with him."

  
Farlan's face flushed, eyes darting from the road to me, then to Isabel before setting it back on the road. "I'm not flirting with him, Izzy."

  
Izzy nodded, a cheeky grin plastered on her face. "Uh-huh. Could've fooled me."

  
"Shut it, Isabel," I said while flicking her forehead. "And Farlan, if you take your eyes off the damn road one more time, I'm going to take it out of your skull then stick it on the fucking windshield. If you wanna get yourself into a damn accident, do it when you're alone."

  
Farlan gulped and nodded, causing Izzy to laugh. Shaking my head, I looked out of the window once again. How did I manage to live with these two?

  
Arriving at the apartment we're living at, Farlan parked the car before the three of us went out. It was much nicer that we had Izzy with us today. Yesterday was a stressful fucking day that even Farlan who was normally calm was on edge. Now that we were all here, we already settled down with our usual routines, me watching Izzy kicked her shoes off without any care in the fucking world before skipping towards the couch, plopping herself on it.

  
"Oi, how many times do I have to tell you not to just kick off your shoes and arrange it?"

  
Izzy looked up from face planting on one of the cushions towards me. "Sorry, mom."

  
Picking one of the cushions, I hit her back, causing her to yell indignantly. "How the hell do you make a hit from a pillow feel like I was hit with a brick?"

  
"If you don't stop being messy, I'll make sure that you will be hit with a brick next time."

  
I stood still from my place in front of her as she sat up, pouting. "What's with you and brutal threats today?"

  
"It's not a threat, honey, it's a promise." Ruffling her hair, I turned on my heel before making my way to the kitchen. "Now get up and take a bath. You stink."

  
"I do not!" She yelled, offended. "You're so mean, Big Bro!"

  
Ignoring her I just focused on making myself a cup of tea, hoping that it would help me ease and steam off stress off myself. From where I stood in the kitchen I saw Izzy stood up and made her way to the stairs just as Farlan entered, Isabel stopping to slap Farlan's forehead before darting off.

  
"Hey! What was that for!"

  
"Nothing!"

  
Farlan just watched her took off with a confused look on his face. Even after living under the same roof for two years, Isabel was still able to catch Farlan off guard. It was amusing to watch them like that.

  
Rubbing his forehead, Farlan made a beeline to the kitchen while mumbling something under his breath. Taking a cup from the cupboard, I took a tea bag and set it inside the cup before pouring hot water into it, the relaxing scent of it wafting into the air. Farlan went straight to get himself some water.

  
Taking my cup, I went back to the living room and made myself comfortable on the couch. It was only minutes after I could rest when my phone rang, Hange's picture flashing on the screen. With a sigh, I answered the call.

  
"What is it, Hange?"

  
"I'm just checking if you're good enough to go film today. I can contact Erwin if you don't feel like going. I'm sure he'll understand."

  
I took a moment to consider Hange's offer. The shooting has been progressing rather well and we've been ahead of time, so I guess not going to the set today wouldn't hurt anyone.

  
I am fucking sure that I couldn't face much less interact with Eren today. Not after what happened yesterday.

  
"Yes, Hange. Please do. I don't think I could work properly right now."

  
"Okay then. Just... don't stress yourself out, okay?"

  
"Yeah. Thanks."

  
"No problem. Anything for my grumpy Shorty."

  
"Fuck off." Hange's obnoxious laugh was the last thing I heard before the call ended.

  
"Is there something wrong with work?" I turned to look at Farlan who's walking towards me with a frown on his face. "What? You're not going to tell me?"

  
"It's nothing important."

  
"Nothing important but it was enough to make you skip work? It isn't like you to do that."

  
"Farlan, I told you. It was nothing. Stop getting your panties in a twist over trivial things."

  
"Well, I'm sorry for caring and worrying over you. I didn't point it out yesterday since I knew that you weren't in a good condition, but you look like shit. And no, don't give me that look, Levi. You went on and on about Isabel not taking enough care for herself and yet here you are, doing the exact thing that you've been scolding her for. Since yesterday, you always seem off and far away. I don't even know why you're acting like this. What's happening to you?" Farlan walked closer to where I was situated as he spoke, his worry lacing his words. He also looked exhausted, probably for worrying not only for Izzy, but also for me. I couldn't help but feel guilty, especially knowing that I was hiding something from him, from Izzy.

  
"I just don't want to talk about it, Farlan. I didn't want you to worry over me. I can handle myself."

  
"Really, Levi? 'Cause it doesn't look like you do."

  
I knew that I wasn't supposed to be irritated at him for worrying about me, that I was supposed to be thankful and glad, but the rational part of my mind was fucking missing. I couldn't stop myself from thinking bad about him and the situation. What right did he think he has to act like this towards me?

  
"You know what? I'm going to my fucking room. I don't want to have this conversation with you right now."

  
Standing up, I glared at Farlan one last time before I started leaving the room. I was only able to take a few steps away from him when he held me back by grabbing my hand, his hold firm yet gentle. Turning around, I looked at our hands first before I shifted m eyes towards his face and scowled.

  
"What? You aren't done pissing me off yet?"

  
He shook his head, eyebrows furrowing. "No, no. I didn't want to piss you off. I'm just genuinely worried about you. You haven't been acting like yourself and watching you like that bothered me. I just want to make sure that everything is fine."

  
"Everything's fucking fine, Farlan! I already told you that it was nothing, didn't I? How many times do I have to fucking repeat saying that? You kept on asking yet you don't believe what I say. If you don't want to believe me, then so be it."

  
"See? This is what I'm saying. You're not being yourself, Levi. Stop lying to me that there's nothing wrong when I could clearly see the truth."

  
I let out a huff of breath, rolling my eyes at our situation. "Now what? You can suddenly know whether I'm lying or not?"

  
"Why are you being like this to me? Does it have to do with me loving you? You desperately want me to stop loving you and this is your way of pushing me away?"

  
My tense muscles relaxed and the scowl on my face slowly softened at his words. "What the fuck are you saying? This wasn't about that." I couldn't tell him why I was being like this. It wasn't the right time for them to know about Eren. I still have to wait before I tell them.

  
A hurt look was now on his face, my stomach twisting on itself from the guilt. "It doesn't feel like that, Levi. I always do my best to try to get closer to you, but you only push me away. I kept on offering myself to you but you kept on rejecting me. And now it feels like you were distancing yourself from me. Why are you doing this, Levi?"

  
"My behavior doesn't have anything to do with your feelings for me, Farlan. And you can't blame me for trying to push you away. I don't want to raise your hopes up and make you believe on something that I couldn't guarantee you of. I'm only sparing you from the pain."

  
"Didn't you think you hurt me enough?" Farlan tried to get closer to me by taking another step but I took a step back, maintaining the distance between us. "Could you at least tell me why you don't even want to try? Haven't I proven myself to you enough?"

  
"There are enough reasons behind for me to do this, Farlan. Once you knew it, you'd understand where I'm coming from. You'll understand why I don't think that it was worth the risk."

  
Farlan also reached out for my other hand, looking at me desperately, eyes begging. The guilt that that look has always given me was stacking up, consuming me. "Then make me understand, Levi. Maybe I can help you with what's hindering you. I will do my best to help you."

  
Something that has died could never be returned back to life again, Farlan.

  
I smiled bitterly at the thought.

  
"I believed that I could fix myself too back then. I thought that I already had. But I had learned that something , Farlan." Freeing my one of my hand from him, I reached out and placed my hand on his jaw. "I had learned that something that was once broken could never be returned to what it was before, no matter how much you tried. You know why? Because a piece of it that was irreplaceable would forever be lost."

  
And the piece of me that was lost was my ability to fall in love again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! Comments/Kudos is appreciated :)


	12. Act XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets an old friend and an unexpected visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really thankful for those of you who read this, and those who're leaving comments and kudos. It means a lot to me. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

After the conversation that I had with Farlan, I went back to my room and decided that I want to do nothing but bury myself beneath my blanket with nothing but my pillows with me. I was exhausted for some fucking reason and what I want is to get some damn sleep and silence the thoughts inside my mind even just for a few hours. Closing my eyes, I cleared up my mind and did just that.

  
I was able to sleep for around two hours when my sleep was interrupted by my phone ringing, breaking the silence. I blindly reached for it on my nightstand and answered it without looking at the caller.

  
"What?" My voice was still raspy and almost indecipherable from sleep, irritation evident on it. Whoever this person was, they need to deal with my shit for interrupting my sleep.

  
The other line stayed silent for a few more minutes, making me more irritated. "What the fuck do you want? If this is a prank call I'm going to hunt your fucking ass down and maim you repeatedly for interrupting my fucking sleep, you-"

  
"Is this Levi? Levi Ackerman?" Hearing the person's- the man, that much I am sure of after hearing him from the other line-voice made me sat up from my position on my bed. My eyebrows knitted together, heart slowly starting to race at the assumption I made inside my mind. The voice was vaguely familiar. It couldn't be the person that I thought. I'd much prefer for it to be a prank call than him having my number.

  
"Hello? I know you're still there since you haven't hung up yet." Taking my phone away from my ear, I looked down and an unknown number flashed on the screen. Seeing it made me more sure about the assumption I made, which wasn't a good news. The phone crackled when the man spoke again, but I didn't waste my time to bother listening and just ended the call, falling back to the bed with a groan.

  
It couldn't be him. How the hell could he even get his hands on my personal phone number? There were only a few people who knew my number, so few that I could even count them with my fingers. Besides, those people knew better than try to give it away without my permission.

  
I ended the call without speaking before laying back down. I'm not in the mood for this shit.

Turning on my side, I closed my eyes once again to try my luck in falling asleep. It was turning out fine for the first couple of minutes, at least before my phone pulled me out of my sleepy daze once more.

  
With an annoyed huff I took my phone that's lying beside me, swiping my thumb on the screen rather harshly to answer the forsaken call.

  
"Hello? Why did you-"

  
"You're interrupting my fucking sleep, you piece of shit. What the fuck do you want?"

  
A relieved sigh came from the other end of the call. "Is that you, Levi? I think you are, since I don't think anyone could be this harsh while answering a phone call. Damn, I thought I had dialed the wrong number."

  
"You would fucking regret calling me if you don't start telling what the fuck you are calling me for." He didn't answer for another minute, probably mulling over what he should say or not. I'm not a patient person but I decided to have a little more patience, giving him another good minute to prepare himself. He should. We're not in good terms.

  
When the time I had given him had passed, I sighed in irritation before I spoke. "If you don't have anything good to say, then I'll just hang the fuck up."

  
"Wait! Don't hang up!" His words were rushed and I heard him mumbling something to himself. What those things are, I didn't know and neither did I give a fuck.

  
"Where did you get my number?"

  
"I-uh, I asked it from someone."

  
"Who might that someone be, huh? Stop playing around."

  
"It isn't important."

  
"It is important, Yeager." Did he really think that spreading your number around without permission is fine? "Now tell me."

  
Another sigh found its way out of him. "I asked it from Erwin, okay?"

  
My eyebrows knitted together in response. Unbelievable. Isn't a number a personal thing that they shouldn't just give around to anyone? What the hell.

  
"And he just gave it to you?" I couldn't believe it. I didn't think that Erwin would be that careless to just hand out other's number.

  
"No. I told him that we fought and that I really want to make it up to you. I was worried when you didn't come to work-"

  
"Stop fucking around." I cut him off. I don't want to hear his shits. I'm done listening to every single thing that comes out of his mouth. "Stop acting like you fucking care. If you're doing this because you're feeling guilty, then forget it. You don't have to be. Just stop acting as if you give a damn about me. You can't fool me again, Yeager."

  
"But I do!" His exasperated voice came out of the phone loudly, causing me to take the phone away from my ear. "I care about you, goddammit. I thought something happened to you yesterday so you weren't able to go to work today. I was fucking worried, Levi. Can't I be worried about you?"

  
His words felt like boulders were placed on me, making me feel heavy, my chest constricting as if a vine was wrapped around it, squeezing. Bile started making its way up my throat. I didn't like his words. I didn't like it as much as I didn't like him.

  
"Can you hear yourself, Yeager? You're out of your fucking mind. After what happened yesterday, you still have the guts to go spout all of those shits to me? Fucking cut it out."

  
Why can't you just leave alone?

  
"You're my coworker, Levi. Most of all, you're my friend. I have the right to be worried about you."

  
I shook my head in disbelief, unable to acceot anything that he said. How dare he. He has the right to be worried about me because he's my friend? Bullshit. Complete, utter bullshit.

  
"Who told you that we were friends, Eren?" I started out slowly, each word heavy with the intensity of being done. "We are not. We were nothing for years and now you're just someone that I have to work with. Working for the film together didn't make us friends. So now, stop this shit out because it's making me sick." You're making me sick.

  
And it really did. My stomach was churning unpleasantly from hearing his lies. Why did he has to do it? Why did he want to keep on playing me like I'm nothing but a fucking toy for his entertainment?

  
"Levi..." He was speechless, unable to say anything other than my name. I might've caught him off guard and have been harsh, but I didn't care. I won't act as if there's nothing wrong between us when every single thing between us was wrong and broken. I may have been an actor, but that didn't mean that I'd always act just to go with the fucking flow.

  
"Look, Eren," I gave emphasis on his name, "I'm sure that I made it clear to you that I want you to stop trying to fix what was left of us. There's nothing left to fix. Now, I would appreciate it if you would stop your feeble attempts to make up for what you had done and kindly back off. Let's just keep our interactions professional."

  
"I... I'm sorry." It was no louder than a whisper, but I could still hear it clearly.

  
"And stop apologizing. I don't need it. Don't ever call me again and delete my number."

  
I ended the call, taking in a deep breath to control the fast beating of my heart, also to try stop the painful squeezing of my heart. I really should stoop feeling like this whenever I talk to him for my good.

  
After I had reigned control over my emotions again, I decided to step out of the room and leave my phone on my bed just in case someone decided to call and irritate me again. My feet was lightly hitting the floor, causing no sound to resonate throughout the silent hall. Feeling my parched throat I made a beeline to the kitchen and got myself a cup of much needed water. Not knowing what else to do, I checked the cupboard and refrigerator for our stocks, making a list of what I need to buy inside my mind.

  
Closing the refrigerator's door shut, I started making my way back to my bedroom to change out of my clothes. Before I changed I took a quick shower, making sure that I scrubbed every inch of me before I went out and dried myself. Dressing myself with a simple red v-neck shirt and a pair of plain, black jeans, and loafers. After combing my hair making sure that I didn't look like a mess, I took my car key inside the drawer of my nightstand, once again leaving my phone at its place on the bed.

  
Going back down the house I left Izzy and Farlan a note, saying that I would go drive around the city and get us some groceries. Leaving the note on the kitchen island I went out, unlocked my car and started the engine before driving out.

  
Having a car really is a good fucking thing. Driving around the city has been my stress reliever, something that was well-needed for me to ease my mind from constant overthinking. It was a destructive thing to do, to over think about every single thing, but it has been working for me that way for years.

  
Turning the radio on, I changed the channels until I settled on something that was less shitty than the others. Having it on moderate volume, I kept on driving through the miraculously not busy streets of Trost, the travel going along more smoothly than I imagined. I drove through the streets, the stores and buildings that has been etched on the back of my mind, becoming more and more familiar every time I went through this place during a drive. These places and streets I was taking has become something like a pattern of where I would travel when I needed a break.

  
It did helped. My mind was clear of any thoughts. I was in peace. My chest wasn't heavy with any burden. I rolled down my window when I got a little far away from the city, the place surrounding me covered with nothing but plains of grass, looking like the place was painted in green. The silence was something to look forward to, a break from the constant noise living in the city would bring you. I love living in the city, but having a break from all the constant buzz and the fast-paced life were sometimes needed.

  
The thought took me back to the times when Eren and I were together. Eren has always been fascinated with the ocean. He always read articles about it, watch documentaries-he's in to do everything as long as it involves the vast place of salt water. The thought of having such a beautiful yet dangerous place, discovering something new from its depths, it has always driven him to love it more and more. If he wasn't an actor, I bet that he would take a profession that involves with him diving into the ocean and study the life under it. I wouldn't be surprised if I would see that he grew a scale from reading and watching all those ocean-related things.

  
I remembered when we were sixteen. We were celebrating our first year anniversary. Eren, who just mastered how to drive, took me out of town. He didn't tell me where we would be going, only that I would like it. I never liked surprises, so it made me grumpy throughout the whole ride. The travel was long, it took us three hours, but the sore muscles and aching hips from the long hours of sitting in the car were paid off when I set foot on the sandy shore.

  
I could clearly remember the way the water sparkled like it was a sea of crystals, the calm way the waves crashing on the shore and how it ebbed. The scent of the place was refreshing. All the irritation I had for Eren was gone the moment I saw it, and I felt all the love that he had for me when he wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder before whispering, "Happy anniversary, my love."

  
The thought brought a sudden pang to my chest. Why did I have to think of that? Eren hasn't invaded my mind for years. And now, it seems like I couldn't stop myself from directing my thoughts towards him.

  
I started to dislike my thoughts. Shaking my head, I turned the car back to where I came from. I didn't notice that it has been more than an hour since I started driving around. Maybe it's time to go back and buy the stocks that we need.

  
It took almost an hour before I was able to get to the mart. Parking my car, I made sure to lock it before I went inside.

  
Taking a cart, I started going through the isles and got the stuffs that I had to buy. There were only a few people around, much to my satisfaction.

  
"I already got some hygiene materials, cleaning materials, bread and other shits, what else do I need to-oof!" I was cut off my musings when someone bumped into me, pushing me and the cart that was in front of me. With a glare, I turned around, ready to lash out on whoever careless fucker bumped me, only to falter when I saw who the person was.

  
"I-I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? I was in a hurry, I didn't mean to bump you!" He was too busy to check me for any signs of hurt to even notice who he's already talking to.

  
Seeing that it was him, the anger that I felt earlier dissipated. "It's fine. I wasn't hurt. Just make sure that you'll be more careful next time."

  
"I will! I'm really sorry." When he was finished making sure that I was okay, he turned his gaze up towards my face, and I watched in amusement when his eyes widen into the size of saucers.

  
"Levi!"

  
Before I could react, I was tackled into a hug, almost making me lose my balance. I chuckled softly as I returned the hug, patting his back when I heard him sniffling.

  
"I never thought that I would see you again."

  
"Well, here I am in front of you now."

  
Laughing, he pulled back, his crystal blue eyes shining with tears. "And for that, I'm glad." He smiled before bumping my shoulders. "Welcome back, Levi."

  
I smiled back, genuinely happy to see an old friend. "Thanks, Armin."

  
*****

  
"So, did you pursue your dream of being an editor?"

  
After paying for the things we need, Armin and I decided to hang out to a café that he frequently visits. After ordering our drinks, we took a seat on a booth away from where other customers were.

  
Gulping down what he sipped from his cup, he nodded, a proud look settling on his face. "Yes. It was surprising that I was able to work as an editor at one of the publishing companies that I really dreamed to work at. But yeah, I've been working for a few months already."

  
"I'm happy for you. You deserve it."

  
Armin smiled at me once again. It reminded me of the time when we were kids, how Armin would look at me gratefully whenever I praise him for what he did. Looks like that didn't change even after all these years.

  
Puberty treated him good. He was more lean and much less lanky than he used to before. He looked mature and has an air of professionalism around him, but that didn't change how approachable he was. He let his blond hair grew out, tying the strands back into a manbun, letting some of the strands frame his face. His bright, blue eyes were calculating, something that wasn't really surprising to see. He has always been like that since he was a kid.

  
"Thanks, Levi. How about you? Did you pursue acting?"

  
I nodded, my finger tracing the rim of my cup. "Yeah. I'm actually working on a film right now." Breaking my gaze away from my cup, I looked up at him. "Didn't Eren tell you anything?"

  
His eyebrows furrowed in thought before he shook his head. "No. I haven't been able to talk to him since last month. Why? Did something happen?"

  
"I'll be the one to tell you, then. This film that I was working on, the director chose new actors and actresses for it. Eren and I, well, we got the lead roles and we've been working together for almost a month."

  
Armin seemed to process what I had said before he responded. "So, you two were together in a film. And this film has two guys as lead roles. Are you guys lover in this movie or...?"

  
"Well, unfortunately, yes. And we have to do some...scenes, I guess."

  
Armin's eyes widen at what I suggested, his mouth slowly dropping. "O-oh... I see." He bit his lip for a moment before he spoke again. "Are you... Are things good with him?"

  
Leaning back on the seat, I shrugged, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. Good wasn't something that I would use to describe whatever shit I had with Eren now, but I wouldn't bother Armin by telling him that. He tends to wmorry over trivial things.

  
"Well, it's fine, I guess. We're keeping things professional. Work is work. You gotta fucking do what shit you have to do."

  
Armin chuckled, successfully lifting the heaviness that settled upon us even just for a bit. "You still have quite a sharp tongue, huh?"

  
I smirked. "You didn't know half of it."

  
He laughed a bit before he got serious again. "Levi, I know that this would mean nothing to you now, but I would still say it. I-I'm sorry for what happened in the past. If I only knew that Eren would cheat on you, I wouldn't have—"

  
"It's fine, Armin. You don't have to blame yourself for every single thing that happens around you."

  
He looked like he was ready to retaliate and contradict what I said. "But—"

  
"No buts, Ar." I smiled at him. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay?"

  
Knowing that he wouldn't be able to say anything to prove his points, he nodded. I didn't miss the disappointment on his face. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry for what happened before."

  
"You don't have anything to be sorry about. What happened between us, none of it was your fault. Eren fucked up, I fucked up, everything between us fell apart. It has nothing to do with you, only Eren and I." Annie too, I thought. But I didn't say it aloud. I knew that Armin was one intelligent fucker to pick it up without me saying anything.

  
"Did you have any romantic relationship with anyone, then?" Armin asked, suddenly looking interested.

  
"I haven't. I had someone who has been wanting to date me for years now, but I don't want it. Not after what happened between Eren and I."

  
A sad look crossed his face but he didn't say more. After Eren, Armin has been with me since we were in middle school. The three of us have been very close, and it was one of the things that I missed.

  
"It's not like you have to worry. Same thing goes for me too, I guess. We'll just see how it will go, no?"

  
Chuckling, I answered. "Yeah."

  
Armin and I talked a bit more before we decided to part ways. Armin still has to meet with one of the writers under his wing so I let him go after exchanging phone numbers with him and a plan to meet again. My mood was considerably lighter when I went back to my car and drove back home, to an extent where I even hummed along to some music I was familiar with.

  
Arriving at our place, I parked the car and took the groceries from the backseat. Closing the door using my hips, I went to the front door with an armful of bags, but fortunately, I was able to ring the doorbell.

  
Farlan was the one to open the door for me. He was wearing a displeased look on his face. It made me frown. What the hell was that look for?

  
"Let me help you." Taking some of the bags from me, he closed the door ans waited for me to take my shoes off before walking further in. The look on his face didn't change and my curiosity kicked in.

  
"What's with the face, Farlan?"

  
He looked at me first before he answered. "Some guy went here earlier. He was searching for you. He told us that you were working with him."

  
Suddenly, there's a lump on my throat. What the actual fuck...

  
I hastily made a beeline to the living room. I could hear Izzy talking to someone enthusiastically and I heard a laugh that I couldn't had mistaken for anyone else.

  
Standing at the archway of the room, I stared in shock when I saw Izzy talking and laughing with no one else but it him. Now I understood why Farlan looked like he couldn't shit.

  
Eren fucking Yeager was here inside my living room.


	13. Act XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell him that I have a fucking reason, that I was trying to prove myself that Eren Yeager was nothing but a shadow from my past, and that he wouldn't be the one who would stop me from making my dreams reality. That he doesn't affect me now. That I could prove not only to him, but myself, that I was better off without him in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, I only have one completed chapter. Unfortunately, I'm pretty bad at updating (considering that there's a lot of shits happening in my life), so updates would take a long time. I'll do my best to update as early as I can, though. 
> 
> Also, my summary is shit. So yeah. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

I didn't know what to do. All I could do was to stare at him as he sat comfortably on the couch, my couch, talking with Izzy as if they had been the best of fucking friends. Farlan was standing beside me, his eyes also set on the pair talking happily on the couch, Isabel more so than Eren.

  
"So, do you know who that person is?" I didn't even have to look at Farlan to know the suspicion on his face. His voice gave it all. I nodded at him in response, letting out a barely audible 'yeah' before Isabel saw us, her teal eyes bright and a wide grin fixed on her face. She stood up the moment she saw us, catching her company's attention, causing him to look back and landing his gaze upon us.

  
"Levi! You're home!" Isabel's enthusiastically greeted us. "Eren came here searching for you earlier. He told us that he was working with you so we let him in!"

  
Farlan bent down a little until his lips were close to my ear. "It's not we, she let him in without asking for my decision."

  
"Hey, Farlan! What did you tell him?" Isabel shoot Farlan an accusing look.

  
Farlan shook his head and said nothing more. Shifting my gaze between Eren and Isabel, my eyes met with Eren for a minute before I directed my eyes on Isabel.

  
"Isabel, will you bring this to the kitchen? I have to talk to him."

  
"I want to talk to him more. He's funny." 

  
I glared at her. She pouted at first before she made her way to me, grabbing the paper bags that I held in my arms before she went to the kitchen, Farlan following after her, but not after giving Eren a look. When the two were out of sight and earshot, I turned my head to look at Eren who's blatantly looking at me.

  
"What are you doing here?"

  
He didn't answer me. He just kept on staring, which made me huff an annoyed sigh before fixing a glare at him. "I'm asking you a question. What the fuck are you doing here, Yeager?"

  
"You didn't tell them who I was? You didn't tell them about us?"

  
The question caught me off guard. I couldn't believe my ears. Was he out of his fucking mind? I couldn't believe how incredulously foolish he thinks.

  
A scoff made its way out of my lips and I shook my head in disbelief. "You're really asking me that? Why didn't I tell them about you, about us, huh? Let me think first." I stopped talking for a few seconds, looking at him straight in the eye. One thing popped up in my mind as I stared at his eyes--no matter how fucking beautiful those eyes were, they belonged to a cheater. And that fact alone ruins it all.

  
I snapped my fingers, acting as if I finally got an answer to his questions. "Why, you ask. Maybe it's because you're not someone that I would spend my time talking about, considering how fucking shitty the thing you did to me was. I also think that what I said answered your second question." I walked closer to him, looking at the direction of the kitchen to make sure that Izzy and Farlan weren't close before looking at him again. There were only a few inches separating us two. "Did you really think I would spend my time gushing about you to them? If yes, then you're fucking wrong. I left whatever shit we were and everything we had before when I went away. Talking about you with them would be nothing but a goddamn waste of time."

  
Stepping away from him, I crossed my arms and gave him an annoyed look. "Now tell me why the fuck you're here."

  
Eren, who never removed his eyes on me, finally gave me the right answer. "I told you earlier, I was worried when you didn't went to the shooting today so I went to ask Erwin about your absence. Erwin said that you weren't feeling well and I had a feeling that it was about what happened yesterday. I decided to give you a visit."

  
I was about to reply when Isabel suddenly speak. "Eren, do you want tea or coffee?"

  
Eren turned to the direction where Izzy's voice came from and smiled. "Coffee, please."

  
"Okay!" Isabel went back inside the kitchen once again. When Eren faced me again, I spoke what I was supposed to say earlier.

  
"Thanks for worrying, but you don't have anything to worry about. I'm perfectly fine, as you can see." And your stay is unwelcome in here.

  
"Here's your drink." Isabel came in with Farlan behind her, holding a tray in his hands. "Why don't you two sit down?"

  
Isabel went to sit down beside Eren while Farlan set the tray down the coffee table. I sat down on the couch adjacent to them, Farlan sitting down beside me. All of us were silent as we took a cup and sipped our drinks. I couldn't help but notice how Farlan sat closer to me than usual, leaving a large space between him and the end of the couch as I leaned on the other end. 

  
I also noticed how Eren seemed to stare at the two of us with a blank look on his face, something that I couldn't name in his eyes.

  
Isabel was the one to break the silence between us. "So, Eren and I talked earlier and he told me that you knew each other before?"

  
I sent Eren a dirty look (not in a sexual way) before I responded with a curt nod.

  
"Oh? Why didn't you tell us before?"

  
"Isabel," Farlan called her, giving her a warning look. "If Levi wanted to talk about it, he surely would have told us."

  
"Farlan's right," I added. "Besides, it isn't like it was fucking important." I looked at Eren. "Don't you have something important to attend? You already saw me."

  
Isabel glared at me from her seat. Oh wow, looks like Yeager already made an ally. "Levi, that's rude--"

  
"Actually, it's fine Levi. I'm done with the scenes that I have to take today so I'm free for the rest of the day."

  
Goddammit.

  
Isabel beamed at us. "See? Why don't you and Farlan take those stick out of your asses and have a nice time with Eren? He's charming!"

  
And look. Another victim of Yeager's so called "charms".

  
I rolled my eyes at her and Farlan made an indignant huff.

  
"I don't have a stick up my ass, Iz."

  
"You act like you have one."

  
Before Farlan could retort, I placed a hand on his knee. "Stop it, you two."

  
From the corner of my eye, I caught Eren looking at my hand on Farlan's knee. Looks like he was keen about watching us.

  
Farlan, who also noticed how Eren was watching us, moved even closer to me, only leaving a few inches between us while resting his arm on the back of the couch, across my shoulder but not making contact with me.  Eren's eye twitched from the gesture.

  
Farlan set his eyes on Eren and when their gaze clashed, none of them wanted to back down. The tension between them was almost tangible, its thickness very noticeable. Why the fuck were they acting like an animal fighting over their prey?

  
"Eren also told me earlier that they were currently working on a movie together. They were the lead roles." Isabel regarded Eren with a proud look. "Levi told me before that you were handsome, but I didn't expect you are this handsome."

  
Eren laughed, reaching out to ruffle Isabel's hair. "Thanks. I think you're pretty lovely, too."

  
"Oh, compliments won't lead you anywhere," she chided, but the blush on her face was telling another story.

  
"I'm just stating something that I see," Eren said before returning his gaze to Farlan.

  
Isabel, who has been talking her ass off, didn't notice the tension between the two. No one listened to her, but she still continued talking.

  
"Eren." When his name was mentioned, Eren reluctantly removed his gaze from Farlan to look at Izzy. "You told me that you were in the same school and club as Levi before, right?" Eren simply nodded. "Will you tell us a little about it? We don't really know a lot about Levi from the time before we met him."

  
"Izzy. Stop that," I warningly told her.

  
Eren shook his head and smiled, but I can see a smug look on his face as he fleetingly look at Farlan before focusing on Isabel, who was eagerly waiting.

  
"You see, Levi and I went way, way back. We knew each other since we were kids. I could still remember the first time we met." There was a fond look on his face. Just like him, I could still remember how it went. How couldn't I? That was the first time I met the boy who would serve as my world before it was ripped apart. "We just moved in from Germany. My parents have been teaching me how to speak English little by little, so I knew some common phrases that would be helpful to me. My mother called me from my room and told me that we would go visit our neighbor. I was reluctant to go, I was still new to everything, but still agreed. It was my mother after all."

  
Yes. I remembered my mother calling me from the living room where I was waiting for her, telling me that our new neighbor came for a visit. I was hiding behind her skirt, staring at the little boy with the most mesmerizing eyes that I had ever seen standing beside his mother.

  
"Wait, you knew Levi for that long?"

  
"Yes."

  
Isabel looked at me with a frown. "And you told us that it wasn't important. You two spent years together!"

  
I didn't respond with anything but a shrug.

  
Eren started talking again, directing Isabel's attention to him once again. "I was very glad when I saw him. I was thinking of how great it would be to be his friend. There weren't many children in that town, so I thought that it would be easier if I were friends with him. With my mother's encouragement, I introduced myself to him, but the only thing that he told me was that I wasn't speaking correctly." He chuckled and I couldn't help but feel the tug in my chest as I remembered it.

  
Isabel also laughed. "Big bro was really mean, even when he was a child."

  
I glared at her.

  
Eren shook his head. "Well, I couldn't really deny it. My English was broken, anyways. Both of our mothers were shocked with what he said. When Kuchel was about to reprimand him, he suddenly asked me if I want to play as if nothing happened. Being the kid I was, I agreed without second thoughts and we started off there."

  
Since then, Eren and I have been playing with each other constantly. My mother and his mother, Carla, has became good friends. Eren and I liked to play pretend, making our own worlds with us being its characters. There were times where both of us had powers and we fight because we were rivals. Most of the time, Eren was a knight and I was the king. I could say that that was where we started off our passion for acting.

  
"Levi and I went to the same school until high school. We were able to do many stage plays, most of it having the two of us as lead. People in our school were pretty much open minded and with Levi's stature, it wasn't hard for him to get the female lead role."

  
Isabel was almost bouncing on her seat. "Did the two of you kiss before?"

  
"Well," Eren looked at me and Farlan before answering the question. "Yes. We were each other's firsts."

  
The smug tone of his voice couldn't be mistaken for something else. He was obviously riling Farlan up. What the fuck was he up to?

  
Isabel squealed, her hands cupping her cheeks. "Oh gods, that was sweet!"

  
"What's sweet with that?" Farlan cut her off, his sliding closer to my shoulders. "They're only doing it for their role."

  
Isabel sticked her tongue out. "That didn't change the fact that they were each other's first."

  
"Cut it off, you two. You two are acting like kids."

  
Farlan defended himself. "Isabel started it."

  
"Farlan."

  
"Fine."

  
Isabel shifted on her seat to face Eren. "Do you have any picture? Of you and Levi?"

  
"I have plenty at home, but I think I have some in my phone." Eren took his phone out and started tapping on it, Isabel peeking at his phone.

  
"Why the fuck do you have some in your phone?" 

  
Without looking away from his phone, he answered. "It was precious to me, so I kept it with me all the time. Aha. Here." A smile made its way on his face and he gave Isabel his phone. "This was one of the plays where we were the lead roles."

  
A mouth-splitting grin made itself known on Izzy's lips. She kept on staring at Eren's phone before she looked at me, letting out a long 'awww' before giggling. Gods, watching them is exhausting.

  
"Levi looks so pretty!" Isabel stood up from her seat and went to Farlan, seating beside him. She showed him a picture, one that has Eren and I in it where Eren was wearing a noble's clothes while I'm wearing a light blue dress, a waist-length black wig set atop my head. Eren has his usual grin on his face while I had my usual blank face on.

  
Farlan chuckled, causing my head turned to look at him with a glare. He was smiling as he examined the picture shown to him, shifting his gaze to my face and back to the phone. Giving back the phone to Isabel, he properly looked at me with a teasing smile.

  
"You really look like a girl. Could've fooled me if I didn't know any better."

  
Isabel bobbed her head, raising an eyebrows at Eren. "He looks pretty as a girl, don't you think?"

  
Eren gave an affirmative hum. "Well, he's handsome as a guy so it's fine either way."

  
I was surprised with his answer, eyes snapping to meet Eren's.  He was looking unapologetic, if the pleased look on his face would be the basis.

  
Isabel leaned closer to Farlan before whipering, "I told you Farlan, he's quite a smooth-talker."

  
"Not to me. Looks like you're the only one who's affected."

  
Izzy smiled mischievously. "Levi here looks affected, too."

  
I wouldn't say affected. I would say caught off guard. Ever since we were teens, Eren loves to throw compliments at the least unexpected moments. It seemed like he still hasn't gotten over it.

  
I wonder if he also does that to Annie.

  
My mood suddenly got sour at the thought. Why would I care if he does that to her? It wasn't like it was any of my business.

  
Isabel went back to her seat beside Eren, giving the phone back to its rightful owner. Eren stared at it for a few seconds more before returning his phone to his pocket.

  
"Big Bro's look didn't change much since then. I mean, he's more masculine now and definitely hotter, but he still looks a lot like his younger self," Isabel commented as she took a sip of her tea, eyeing me from her place. "No wonder people always make a mistake guessing your age."

  
"Would you please talk about something else? Something that isn't about me?" This is worse than a fucking interview.

  
"Hey, Eren. Tell me, are you in a relationship right now?"

  
Isabel, who's attention was now wholly fixed on Eren, didn't notice the glare that I sent her way. This kid. She really loves prying another person's life.

  
Hesitating for a moment, Eren forced a smile and responded, "Yes. I was with her for the past four years."

  
Izzy, who was eagerly waiting for a response earlier, obviously depleted. Her body lightly slumped and a small pout was on her lips.

  
"What now, Izzy? He answered your question," Farlan asked with a frown, confused just as I am with her behavior.

  
"Well, I was hoping that he would be single so he and Levi could go out."

  
Farlan's arm now possessively wrapped around my shoulders.

  
"Isabel. It wasn't funny. You should not go play as cupid for anyone." His voice was accusing and it held a tone of possessiveness. This was fucking bad. Me dating someone was a sensitive topic for Farlan, taking account the years I've been rejecting him repeatedly.

  
The pout was replaced with a frown. Eren sat still on his place, not knowing what to do. "I'm just hoping, Farlan. It's not like I'm gonna force them to date. And you know all too well that no one could force Levi to do something he doesn't want. Much more when it comes to dating."

  
Isabel's words were sharp and it cut through Farlan directly, knowing the meaning behind her words. It was getting personal and I didn't want it to escalate any further. Isabel and Farlan rarely fight, but when they do, it's hell. A lot of cold shoulder and shadiness. Though most of their fight was because of me.

  
I couldn't help but feel like their my parents with the way they're acting when something involves me.

  
"Isabel. Farlan. Would you two refrain from fighting? Goddammit. There's someone else in here."

  
Both of them slumped on their seats, but Farlan's hold on me never left. I finished what was left in my cup, a wave of silence crashing on us.

  
Eren, whose eyes were fixated on Farlan's arms which was on my shoulders, broke the silence by asking a question. "Are you two dating?"

  
"No."

  
"Yes."

  
Eren was confused with our answers. What the fuck? Since when did I agree about dating him? I told him to stop, didn't I?

  
"What?"

  
Farlan tightened his arm around me. "Not yet, but we're getting there."

  
I watched as something flashed in Eren's eyes, but it was gone as soon as it was there. "I see."

  
The sound of a phone ringing caught all of our attention. It wasn't recognizable to me, so it was most probably Eren's. He took his phone out of his pocket and answered the call, excusing himself from us. None of us bothered to speak, Farlan and Isabel just drinking from their cups until Eren returned a few seconds later.

  
"Sorry, but I have to go. Mikasa called me and told me that we have to go somewhere." Eren showed us an apologetic smile.

  
"It's fine. It was nice meeting you." Isabel stood up and reached out to Eren, hugging him once he was close enough. Eren chuckled and returned the hug, facing me and Farlan after breaking the hug.

  
"It was nice meeting you, Farlan." Eren reached out a hand which Farlan took, their grip tight. It was Eren who loosened the grip and went to hug me. I wanted to push him away but we weren't the only one in here so I just stayed still.

  
"I'm glad that you were fine." Breaking the hug, he smiled at us. "I'll get going now."

  
"I'll see him out." I waited until Eren started moving, both of us treading our way to the front door. He stopped just as he stepped out, turning back to face me.

  
"Thanks. It was nice to meet your friends."

  
I didn't reply and Eren just smiled before he bid his goodbye. Watching him get into his car, it didn't take long until he was driving out of the driveway and in a few minutes, he was gone. With a sigh, I stepped inside and closed the door, heading straight to the kitchen once I saw that the cups were gone.

  
Entering the kitchen, I saw Farlan standing by the sink, already halfway through cleaning the cups. I stood still by the entrance, silent as I waited for him to finish.

  
Placing the last cup in the rack for it to dry, Farlan dried his hands with the towel next to him and turned around to face me. He didn't look surprised, it was like he knew that I would be waiting for him there, demanding for an explanation for the shit he said earlier.

  
"You don't have to look at me that way, Levi." He sighed, leaning back on the sink. "I know that it was about what I said earlier."

  
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Then tell me why the fuck you said that."

  
"I knew about your past with him," he started, leaving me looking at him in shock. "Sorry, Not knew, but it was a hunch. Judging by your expression, looks like I was right." He paused for a moment, giving me time to talk. When I didn't, he continued. "When I talked to your mother when she was still alive, she slipped and told me that someone broke your heart when I asked her about you. I only had a crush on you before, and I thought that it would be easier for me to have you if I knew more about you, so I asked your mom. She didn't mean to say that, so she made me promise to never tell you.

  
"I also saw you cutting a picture before. I knew that you didn't notice me behind you and I stayed quiet not to disturb you. The picture you were cutting...it was the one that Eren showed us earlier. You were cutting him off from the picture, didn't you?"

  
I couldn't answer. I wasn't prepared for all these questions, wasn't prepared from him pressing me about my past, something that I didn't want to talk about. It was like poking an old wound, something that never really healed but was just covered up. It was a sensitive topic, a soft spot.

  
Knowing that I wouldn't--couldn't--respond, he went on. "I never knew who he was, but I knew that the person you were cutting off from that photo was the one who hurt you. I just stitched everything up and now I knew that it was Eren."

  
He slowly, carefully ambled his way closer to me. I was set in place by shock, my mind too muddled to command my body to move.

  
"The boy who broke you before, was Eren Yeager, the same guy that you were working with now in the film. Why, Levi?" He stopped when he was in front of me, his eyes filled with confusion, with jealousy. "Why are you working with him after you kept yourself away from your past for years? Tell me, Levi."

  
I wanted to respond. I wanted to tell him that I have a fucking reason, that I was trying to prove myself that Eren Yeager was nothing but a shadow from my past, and that he wouldn't be the one who would stop me from making my dreams reality. That he doesn't affect me now. That I could prove not only to him, but myself, that I was better off without him in my life.

  
But I couldn't. I opened my mouth and tried to say something but nothing came out. I was tongue-tied, all the words that I knew disappeared into thin air.

  
"Why, Levi? Are you hoping to get another chance with him?"

  
It was like I got out of the shackles that was preventing me to move as my anger surged up on my body, fast. I could feel it in my veins, as well as the cold feeling of betrayal. How could he? Is that how he sees me? Is that how low he thinks of me?

  
"Do you even know what the fuck you're saying? I can't fucking believe you, Farlan." I shook my head, my eyes burning with rage. My voice was low, but it was filled with restrained fury. "You really thought that I would do that? That I would waste those five years of my life just to crawl back to him and beg for him like a fucking dog the moment I see him? Well you're fucking wrong, Farlan. I wasn't doing this because I want to get back with him nor get into his fucking pants. I'm doing this for myself, for the reason of trying to prove something. And if you think that I would let him hinder me from my goals, then congratulations, you're fucking wrong."

  
Pushing him away so he could be farther away from me, I took a step back and decided to leave. Turning on my heels, I made an escape to get away from Farlan. I was near the stairs when he was able to stop me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

  
"Levi, sorry. I was just jealous and scared. The he looked at you, he was--"

  
"He was looking at me in a way that didn't mean anything. He's only asking for my forgiveness for doing something fucking horrible." I turned to look at him in  the eye. " And until now, I couldn't give him that. So whatever you were thinking about us, fucking forget it." 

  
I removed his hand from my shoulder. "He already did so much damage before, Farlan. Like hell if I'm going to let him destroy whatever I have now and for the future."

  
With that I left him, heading off to my room.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who read this, I want to say something--thank you for still reading this.

**_Eren's POV_ **

**_  
_ **

_"Eren..." Levi breathed out beneath me, his voice airy and hushed. He looked perfect right then, his face flushed scarlet, his lithe body pinned right under me. "Eren... I love you, Eren."_

 

_My heart ached after hearing his words. He loves me. God, I knew that. I saw how much he loves me whenever he looked at me fondly, the usual stony gunmetal eyes filled with warmth, with affection. I knew how much he loves me whenever he latch himself to me before we go to sleep, how he would press his back against me and fall asleep with my arm securely wrapped around him. The small smiles he offered me, stealing glances when he thought I wasn't looking. I knew how much he loves me when I press my lips against his, only to feel him kissing back, pouring what we couldn't express with words. Because truly, words aren't enough to express how much love I have for him. All of it made my heart ache with how much love I had for him._

_Pressing a kiss on his forehead, I leaned until my forehead rests against his, fixing my eyes with his. "I love you too, Levi. You're so fucking precious. I love you and I will continue to love you no matter what happens."_

 

_He nodded, a small smile gracing his lips. "I know Eren. I vow to love you and only you. I don't want the others. I only want you."_

 

_It felt like everything in melted. This was the side of Levi that only I could see. To anyone, he may seem stoic and standoffish, with vocabulary brash enough to make a sailor blush. But when he's with me, he was sweet and affectionate. I love both sides of him equally._

 

  
_"I only want no one else but you too, Levi."_

 

_I didn't know what happened, but the scene shifted and now I'm standing in front of Levi, who's currently crying and eyes full of anguish. I felt my chest ached at the sight, my hand reaching up to clench my shirt with my fist. Who did this to him? Who dared hurt him?_

 

_"Tell me, Eren. Am I not enough? Am I boring you so you went out of your way just to cheat on me?"_

 

_My body went stiff, my eyes wide as I stared at his eyes. The eyes that would usually be filled with love was now burning with rage and hurt. And it was directed at no one other than me._

 

_What the fuck did I do for him to look and act like this?_

 

_"What... What are you saying, Levi? I don't understand..."_

 

_"Fucking bullshit. You don't have any right to act like you're fucking innocent!" The tears that he was holding back fell, staining his face all over again. He fell on his knees, clutching the front of his shirt as sobs wracked his body. His voice cracked as he pleaded. "Just be fucking honest to me, Eren. Just this time."_

 

_Watching him like that, crying and breaking, made my heart break into tiny pieces. What have I done? The person that I swore my life to, swore to love until my last breath leaves me, was crying and hurting all because of me._

 

_While he was crying, I approached him. I kept my movements slow, careful not to do anything that would worsen the situation we were in. A situation that I never wanted to be in._

 

_Crouching in front of him, I reached out with my right hand to touch his face. My hand was shaking. I am scared that he would push me away. And that's exactly what he did._

 

_"Don't touch me," he said lowly, dangerously. He lifted his head to look at me, silver daggers piercing through me and straight to my heart. "I don't want your filthy hand to touch me. You thought that I would let you touch me after you set your hands on her?"_

 

_He was looking at me like I was a stranger who would bring nothing but harm to him. He was putting up his walls. And for some reason, I knew that he wouldn't let me in._

 

_Confused, I asked him again. "What are you saying?"_

 

_Fury flashed in his eyes, his hand pulling my shirt roughly. "Don't act as if you're innocent. You did this to me, Eren. Out of all the people I knew, I didn't expect that you would be the one to hurt me the most."_

 

_Every ounce of affection he had for me dissipated and replaced by nothing but hatred. He was seething. And I knew that this time, I really fucked everything up._

 

_"No one has ever hurt me the way you did. You broke me." With a broken look on his face, I heard him say the words that broke me to an unfixable point. "I hate you, Eren."_

 

I woke up with a start, gasping as tears slid down my face. I was clutching the front of my shirt as the ache on my chest intensified. It was that dream again. For all these years I had it, it still gauge the same reaction from me.

 

Turning my head, I stared at the picture of Levi I had on my nightstand. It was a photo of him looking at the book I bought him, a small smile on his face as he stared at the rectangular thing like it was made of gold. Annie had announced her displeasure about me keeping a photo of Levi beside me, but she couldn't do anything about it. Those years with Levi were the best I ever had and keeping even a small memory from it reminded me that at some point of my life, I've been truly happy and the smile on my face was always genuine.

 

After calming myself, I got out of the bed and went straight to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I took my time to scrub myself down, deeming myself clean enough after scrubbing myself raw before brushing my teeth. Choosing a plain black button up and a pair of demin, I proceed to dress myself and after fifteen minutes, I am out of the door.

 

Getting inside the car, I started the engine before I checked my phone for any messages. There was one from Mikasa, one from Jean (I didn't even bother to look at what it says. It most probably has nothing important and was just sent to annoy me), one from my mother who told me that she'll be visiting later. After sending Mikasa and my mother a reply, I started driving. 

 

Before I went to where we'll be shooting a scene, I went to the café I frequent to. I skip breakfast most of the times-something that my mother keeps on nagging me about—but I couldn't last without a cup of coffee in my system.

 

Parking my car, I headed to the establishment, the scent of coffee assaulting my senses as soon as I stepped one foot inside. I made my way to the counter, glad that the place wasn't crowded. Checking the menu, I decided on what drink I like then ordered it, the cashier flushing a bit as I did so.

 

With a cup and a marker in hand, she asked me, "What name should I write, Sir?"

 

"Eren."

 

Nodding, she went to make my order. I stepped aside and pulled out my phone, browsing around when I heard a very familiar name being called out. "Levi! Your order's ready."

 

I looked around the place, searching who that "Levi" is. While it wasn't entirely impossible, the chance that that "Levi" is the Levi that I knew would be slim.

 

That's when I saw him. Raven hair, porcelain skin, stormy eyes and a stoic expression. It surely is the Levi that I knew.

 

I watched as he took his order and gave a nod at the girl who handed him his cup. He didn't notice me and walked straight to the door as soon as he got his cup, looking so composed. My eyes and attention were fixated on him that I didn't even notice my name being called out.

 

Facing the girl from earlier, I smiled apologetically, muttering 'sorry'. With an embarrassed smile, she handed me my cup and I bolted out of the place, frantically searching for the raven haired man. 

 

Seriously. What the fuck am I even doing? He already told me before. He didn't want to have any personal relationship with me, yet here I am, searching for him so I could offer him a ride. He clearly wanted nothing from me, but I'm being stubborn and kept on bugging him. 

 

I really thought that I would be fine with that. I thought that I could work through this film with him without bringing up the past and be on our separate ways after the film ended. That was what I thought, but the truth was far from it. I couldn't just work with him like there's nothing wrong. The guilt that I had years ago was still gnawing at me up until now. Now that the opportunity of being able to fix what has been destroyed was too good to pass up.

 

But things weren't that easy. Levi...he didn't want to mend anything between us. He wanted us to stay as what we are now to each other-strangers. Just two people working professionally. 

 

I was right about one thing. Levi had put up his defenses and this time, he wouldn't let me in.

 

Luckily, it didn't take long until I saw him. I jogged towards him, careful not to spill my drink. "Levi!"

 

Hearing his name, he stopped his track to look around, a eyebrows knitted in a frown. A blank look took over his expression when he saw me, but his eyes showed his displeasure.

 

"What do you want, Yeager?" he asked as soon as I'm near him. He didn't even said any greetings. To say that I wasn't a bit put off isn't a lie. I expected the cold shoulder, honestly.

 

"I... I want to ask if you want a ride to the building?" I am hoping that he wouldn't refuse. Looking at him this close, it was obvious that he didn't get enough rest last night. The dark bags under his eyes gave it all. He looked close to fainting.

 

The blank look on his face didn't change as he flat out refused me. "No thanks. I don't need it."

 

Before he could turn his back on me, I grabbed his arm. "Wait, Levi. You look close to passing out. I just want to make sure that you would arrive at the place safely."

 

"I don't care about what you think, Eren. Stop pestering me and kindly fuck off."

 

He shrugged my hold off him but I didn't budge. It made him glare at me. "Let go."

 

Defiant, I only tightened my hold. "No."

 

"Fucking Christ, Eren. Stop being stubborn and just let my arm go. You're fucking wasting my time."

 

"I won't let you walk when you're already half-asleep on your feet."

 

He made an irritated sound, huffing out his breath harshly. "You really don't know what 'fuck off' means, do you Yeager?"

 

I shook my head. "You said it yourself. I'm stubborn."

 

Levi sighed, looking disappointed as he resigned to his fate. "Fine."

 

I smiled at him. Well, that wasn't as hard as I thought. 

 

Raising an eyebrow at me, he stated, "What? Are we going to stand here all day?"

 

Shaking my head, I gestured towards the way we went from earlier. "This way, then."

 

It was silent during the whole ride. We didn't muttered a word to each other. I kept on stealing glances at him, his eyes trained outside as he sipped on his cup. I thought of it before, but Levi didn't look like he aged that much. He looked youthful. 

 

Quarter of an hour later, we arrived at the place. Both of us stepped out of the car as soon as I parked it, silently making our way inside. I respected his choice of not trying to engage a conversation. The fact that he agreed to have a ride with me was enough.

 

Entering the dressing room that Levi and I shared, Christa and Mina handed us the clothes that we're supposed to wear, applying light makeup on our face after we got dressed. This part was what I hated the most. Makeup feels sticky and unnatural on my face, but it's not like I got any choice. 

 

The day turned out to be productive. I got to take my scenes with the other actors, pleased when Director Smith praised us. Levi and I didn't have any scenes to shoot this day, something that Levi seemed to be thankful for. Throughout the day, I couldn't help but think that he was avoiding me, something I wasn't surprised about. He made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with me. I was the only one who kept on pushing him.

 

When the day ended for us, Levi and I were called by Erwin for a meeting. We both sat before him, showing us his bright smile before he started talking. 

 

"I'm surprised and glad with how fast this filming is going. If this will continue, we'll be done in less than two months. However, that's not what I called you for. I want to tell you about the trip that you're going to have."

 

Levi and I were silent. What trip? I knew that there are other scenes that would be taken in other places, but a trip? To where?

 

Erwin guessed their confusion by the look on their face. He continued talking. "So I decided that it would be better to for you to fly to Sina, instead of taping all the scenes here in Trost. The flight wouldn't take long, it'll be around 4 or 5 hours. There are a lot of good places there. I want the movie to have scenes taken there. The longest time you'll probably spend there is around two or three weeks."

 

"When will we be leaving?" I questioned. I hoped that it would be long enough so I could still spend some time with Annie. This may be important to me, but Annie is still my girlfriend. I have a responsibility to meet.

 

"I'm glad that there isn’t any objection from you, Eren." He looked at Levi, who was just silently listening. "How about you, Levi? Do you want to ask anything?"

 

Levi shook his head, muttering 'no'. Erwin nodded. 

 

"Okay then. We'll be leaving on Thursday. I'll give everyone a day off on Wednesday before the flight. That's all that I'm going to say. Get home safe, you two."

 

We left as soon as he allowed us to. I was exhausted and all I want to do is go home and relax in the tub. When I was out of the building, Levi was nowhere in sight so I just went to my car and drove home.

 

The first thing that welcomed me when I got home was the smell of my mother's baking. I forgot about her visit today, too occupied with work to think about anything. Leaving my shoes by the door, I went to where I knew my mother would be in and there she was, taking out a tray of cupcake from the oven.

 

It smelled heavenly. 

 

Without making any noise, I sneaked to her, hugging her from behind as soon as she placed the tray on the countertop. She gasped in surprise before laughing when she realized that it was me.

 

Taking the mittens off, she hugged me back, pressing a kiss on my forehead. It's a habit that she has since I was a child. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm old already.

 

"How are you, Eren? How's your job treating you?"

 

I sat on the chair by the countertop and watched her as she put icing on the red cupcakes. "It's good. It felt really nice to act in front of a camera and work under Erwin. Is that red velvet?"

 

"I heard that Erwin is a great director. I'm glad that you're enjoying what you're doing. You're starting to reach your dream now. I'm so proud of you, Eren." She smiled warmly at me, taking her eyes off the cupcakes she was decorating. "And yes, I know how much you love it so I decided to make some for you."

 

"Thanks, Mom. I'll just take a bath first. I'll come down after it."

 

"Okay, sweetie."

 

Kissing her forehead, I went to my room to take a bath. I may not be able to take too long in here, but the thought of eating those heavenly cupcakes made up for it. Fuck exercise.

 

Soon enough, I found myself back in the kitchen, grabbing one cupcake before I went to the living room. I saw Mom sitting on the couch, a book resting on her lap, looking at it fondly as she flipped the pages.

 

"What are you looking at?" My steps faltered when I saw what it was.

 

"I miss Levi. I wonder what he's doing now." She was looking at the photo album that's full of Levi and my pictures. The pictures ranged from when we were still kids until the breakup.

 

My mother and Levi were close. They even spend some days together, just the two of them. She was accepting and glad when we told her about our relationship, even openly saying that she would love it if we will be together until we were old. When the news about our breakup reached her, she cried. I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't face her. We didn't talk for a month then.

 

While she was okay with Annie, I could tell that she still favors Levi. I couldn't blame her. Levi's someone worth keeping and worth loving. He's the nicest person I know, despite how he was seen by others. He has a big heart, but I broke it. Many people would call me ungrateful for doing what I've done to him.

 

"I'm sure he's doing fine. You know him."

 

I didn't tell her that Levi's working with me in the film since I didn't know how she would take it. But I knew that she would demand to see him right away, something that I am wary of. I didn't know how Levi would react when he saw her.

 

"Yes. He's such a bright and talented kid. I love how passionate and honest he is. He is wonderful."

 

I didn't know what to say, so I just stayed silent. She stopped at one page, taking out a photo taken during our prom. We were wearing matching suits and I would dare say that we look stunning. I had my arm around Levi's waist as he leaned on me, a wide smile splitting my face while he kept his minimal. His eyes gave everything away though, shining with happiness.

 

"I honestly thought that you two will get married and adopt a kid or two."

 

"Mom..."

 

"I know. You already have Annie and I respect that, but you shouldn't expect me not to be disappointed. I know that it has been years now and he might also have someone else, but I really like him for you. He was there when you were rebelling against your father. He was the one you run to when you had a fight with him. He also tended your wounds. He brought out the best in you, Eren, and I really thank him for that. 

 

"I want him to be happy. After what he experienced, he deserves it. I'm not blaming you. I just really wish the best for him."

 

Returning the photo in its place, she carefully closed the book and went to the kitchen. I just stood there, looking at nothing, her words running inside my mind.

 

*****

 

When Wednesday came, I invited Annie over to my house. We both decided that it would be better to just stay in rather than go to other places. Both of us have been so busy that we didn't see much of each other now, so that's what we planned to do today.

 

Annie and I have been together for more than four years already, but we still didn't live in the same house. We never talked about it before. We didn't care if we don't share the same roof since sleeping over to the other sometimes is enough.

 

Some would say that maybe we weren't serious in our relationship so we didn't want the other to move in. But that's not it. We just respected each other's preference and if living separately is what the other wants, then it's fine. It's not like we're already married.

 

"How long would you stay there?"

 

We were currently on the couch, Annie leaning her head on my shoulder as we watch some movie which title I didn't bother remembering.

 

"Erwin said that it will be around two or three weeks."

 

She stayed silent. Normally, she really is silent, but I knew that there was a reason behind her silence this time.

 

"Is there something bothering you?"

 

Annie shook her head, a small sigh escaping her lips. "Nothing."

 

I knew that she was lying but I didn't press on it. I didn't want to start a fight. I'll be leaving for the following weeks and it will be much better to leave without any fight between us.

 

The day went on casually. We cooked our food, ate, talked, played some games and watched movies. Throughout the day, however, I felt like something was hovering over us, dampening the mood. I couldn't enjoy the day with her if it goes on like this.

 

We were in the living room. Annie was sitting on the couch while I stood a few feet away from her. "Annie. Would you please tell me what's bothering you? It has been dampening everything. I wanted to enjoy this day with you but you're being bothered by something else."

 

She looked at me, her face passive. She wasn't responding. I thought that she would stay like that until she spoke, her voice low and distant. It was so quiet that I didn't even hear her despite the silence in the room.

 

"What did you say?"

 

Annie sighed, shaking her head. "Forget about it. Let's just move on."

 

I didn't force her to say anything. We tried to ignore the elephant in the room and decided to take a walk and fetch some dinner outside. It was working for the next few hours but as the day neared its end, it was back again. I did my best not to give mind to it, but I couldn't handle it anymore. 

 

"Annie, if there's a problem, just tell me."

 

We just finished taking a quick shower and getting ready to settle on the bed, but I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew what's going on inside her mind. 

 

"I don't want to talk about it."

 

I got up from the bed and stood in front of her, looking down at her. "Why? This is making me uncomfortable. If you have any doubts, then just say it—"

 

"I'm not happy that you're going out for weeks with Levi."

 

"What are you saying?"

 

After we saw Levi, Annie and I have been fighting over it. I didn't know why she was so disturbed by his reappearance. It's not like I'm just going to drop her and run back to Levi. He didn't even want to be friends and accept my apology.

 

"You know it, Eren. Two weeks, three weeks, it doesn't matter. You will be with him, you'll spend time with him. What if you two suddenly want to get back together?"

 

"We already talked about this before. Just because Levi came back to my life doesn't mean that you'll be out of it."

 

Annie shook her head, her blue eyes reflecting all of her worries and doubts. "I don't know Eren. That's a long time for you to fix whatever you had in the past."

 

"You said it, Annie. It's in the past now. Why are you bringing it up?"

 

"History repeats itself, Eren," she stated, her voice wary. "It happened before, so it could also happen now. You couldn't blame me. You two had a past."

 

It all made sense now. She was worried that I would use what time I had with Levi to rekindle what was left of us before and that I'll leave her. But that wasn't what I am starting to feel upset for. I am starting to feel upset with the fact that she couldn't trust me.

 

"You know that I wouldn't do that, Annie. I would never do it again. I learned my lesson. I'm trying my damnest not to make you feel threatened bu Levi's arrival, but how could I do that if you didn't trust me?" I let out a harsh sigh, my frustration getting to me. "Why couldn't you trust me?"

 

I knew what I did before. I cheated. But I did that not because I wanted to, but because I was forced and there's nothing else left for me to do. Maybe that's why she couldn't trust me. She still believed that my feelings for Levi never changed.

 

"You knew that I did that because I have no other fucking choice. I wouldn't make the same mistake again, Annie. I swore that to myself."

 

And I did. Maybe if things didn't turn out that way, Levi and I would still be together. There were so many possibilities, but I shouldn't let myself linger in the past.

 

Annie and I didn't talk after that. Turning the light off we just went under the covers to sleep. A lot of 'what ifs' were clouding my mind, but I cleared it all away. 

 

No matter how much I regret what I did, there was nothing I could do to turn back time. It was much better to let go.

 


	15. Act XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe she's right. I have been so caught up with my past that I even forgot about her advice. I've been so lost in the grey of hurt and betrayal that I ignored the affection being directed at me. I made myself believe that I wasn't worth being loved, when it has been wrong all along.
> 
>  
> 
> If Eren could be happy with Annie, then I could also be happy with some else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gods, your comments last chapter really lifted my spirits up. I was having a really shitty day, but your sweet words made it better.

**Levi's PoV**

 

To say that the days prior to my flight to Sina was easy would be a lie.

 

First of all, I had to talk to Isabel and Farlan about me leaving. It wasn't like they'll be needing me— they're adults already for fuck's sake—but for my peace of mind, I still left them a few reminders.

 

"How long will you be gone to Sina?" I didn't know why Isabel sounded excited, but it was making me suspicious of her. Her eyes were practically gleaming as she looked at me eagerly, something that reminded me of a toddler.

 

"I'll be gone for around two or three weeks." Narrowing my eyes at her, I added, "Why? I know that look, Iz. Whatever you're thinking, stop it."

 

Isabel huffed, her lips jutting out in a pout. "Why do you have to be so mean, big bro? I'm not going to do anything!"

 

Rolling my eyes, I took a sip of tea from the cup I'm holding. "I didn't spend the last five years with you for nothing. It was obvious that you're up to something. Might as well put a sign on your head."

 

From the corner of my eye, I watched as Isabel slowly got up from her seat at the other side of the couch, crawling her way beside me. She leaned her head on my shoulder, her hands finding their way to wrap around my biceps.

 

"Big bro, I want to ask your permission for something."

 

I shot her a look that's saying ' _see? I knew you were up to something'._ Ignoring the look I gave her, she continued. "My friend is going to have a party. I just want to ask if I could go?"

 

Isabel, being the ball of energy and sunshine that she was, has many friends. It was normal for her to be invited to parties, so it has been a long time since I gave her permission to go as long as she would tell me about it and where it will be. The fact that she was asking me to let her go to this one, I didn't know what to think of it.

 

"Would you explain why you have to ask me if you could go?"

 

She started tracing mindless patterns on my arm. "Well, it'll be out of town. It's her birthday and she wants to celebrate it by the beach, in her family's rest house." Leaning back, she gave me those puppy eyes. She knew that I am fucking weak when it comes to it and was obviously using it against me.

 

However, its resemblance to Eren's own pair made my guts turn. It's beautiful, how the irises seemed to shift from green to blue, how flecks of gold seemed to swim around on those orbs, but the sight of it made me remember many, many things that I would rather forget.

 

Tearing my eyes away from her, I sighed. "Fine. Just make sure to tell Farlan the address. I don't fucking care how far it is. If some trouble arises, you would get the fuck out of that place. Is that clear?"

 

Practically beaming, she nodded her head, making her ruby hair bounce. "Yes! I promise, Levi!"

 

"And for fuck's sake, use a fucking condom if you're going to engage in sex. I don't want you to get pregnant this young."

 

That made her face as crimson as her hair. "Levi!"

 

I smirked. "What? You wouldn't know what will happen. Better be ready than sorry."

 

"Fine," she grumbled. I ruffled her hair, feeling the soft strands with my hand.

 

"Another thing, make sure to clean this house. I don't wanna go back here and see it became a pig's den." My voice came out stern, but it was because I am serious. They shouldn't take cleaning lightly.

 

"We know, Mr. Clean," came Izzy's response.

 

"We'll be fine, Levi," Farlan, who's so fucking silent I almost forgot that he was here, added.

 

Second, Farlan and I haven't been talking a lot since our fight. We acted as if the other isn't there, only trying to act normally when Isabel's around. I had a hunch that she already knew but didn't put a word about it.

 

If I would be honest, I thought that putting space between Farlan and I would be the best for him. I don't want to keep him hanging and running after me. I wasn't ready to be involved with someone. With the nightmare that my past relationship became, I wasn't ready to put everything of me in it just to be hurt and taken for granted. Not again.

 

I doubted that Farlan would do that, given how much patience and understanding he already gave me for the past years. However, he wasn't the problem. It was me. I didn't know how long it would take for me to be ready to take the plunge again. I didn't want him to wait for me, knowing that he was wasting his time when could be seeing another person, someone who wasn't afraid to give him their all, someone who would be better for him. Not someone as broken as me.

 

But that didn't lessen the guilt I was feeling.

 

"Besides, two or three weeks wouldn't be that long. You don't have to worry about us messing things up. Just focus on your work," Farlan added with a reassuring smile.

 

I met his eyes. I wasn't sure if his smile was a genuine one regarding the fact that we hadn't really been talking. Not knowing what would be the better response, I just cocked my head.

 

We didn't talk after that, proceeding to get to our own business. Farlan left to head to work while Isabel went to her class, leaving me plenty of time alone in our house. I spent an hour or two cleaning, making sure that it will be easier for the two to clean, before I went off to shower. Soon I found myself packing some clothes, checking if I packed everything twice.

 

Packing didn't take long. Once I got it done, I laid down on my bed facing the ceiling. One of my arms was resting on my stomach while the other was resting on my forehead. The silence has done plenty to my mind, one thought coming after the other. Hange said that thinking too much wasn't a good way to spend my time but I couldn't find a way to stop it, much to their disappointment.

 

One of the thoughts that bugged my mind was Farlan. Specifically, the day he discovered that Eren was my ex, the reason why I couldn't let anyone in. I was in too much anger that I let it consume me, disregarding what he must've been feeling. It must be pretty fucking shitty, knowing that I was working with him again. Ever since he admitted his feelings towards me he became insecure, even when it comes to the little things. He thought that he wasn't good enough because I couldn't give him back his feelings. I didn't want him to feel that way. I wanted to ease all of his insecurities, but I didn't know how I would do that without forcing myself to give him what he wanted.

 

Another thought that I mulled over was Eren. Despite telling him to back off, he just kept on coming like a fucking puppy. I didn't know what he couldn't understand about me not wanting him back in my life even as a friend. Couldn't he understand how shitty what he did to me? Just looking at him reminded me of what he has done, flooding me with unpleasant memories. It was like every good times with him vanished, and the only thing that remained was the time I saw him kissing her, the very moment I felt my heart shatter.

 

Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

 

After Eren, I thought about my mom. The night Erwin told us that we're going to Sina, I remembered that her death anniversary was near. Unbeknownst to the others except Farlan and Isabel, my mother and I flew off to Sina after graduating high school. That was where we started again, the place where she had her last moments. I was planning on asking Erwin if I could take some time off before her death anniversary so I could visit her grave, but then the news came. Maybe I could just visit her grave after work.

 

Sighing, I turned to face my nightstand. The sight of my mother's smile greeted me. Staring at it, it made me feel like she was still here with me, not failing to bring me some sort of reassurance. She never failed to bring me comfort in times of trouble before. I guess that still hasn't changed until now.

 

A lot of thoughts were swimming in my head, but none of it really stood out, leaving as soon as it came. There's not a lot of things to do—I already read and practiced my lines for the movie a lot of times. I didn't have any books waiting to be read. I could choose to watch some shows, but most of it were shit. Times like this reminded me of the loneliness that I am always able to ignore whenever I'm busy.

 

Still staring at the picture of my mother's smile, I tried to think of what she would be telling me right now. She would probably tell me to start opening up, start letting other people in. She would tell me to give not only others, but also myself a shot to love again. I have been so closed off, so reclusive, just to protect myself from the pain that loving him caused me before.

 

I closed my eyes. In my mind I saw my mother, looking at me with that fond expression, her eyes full of love. She has her hands on mine, rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand.

 

 _"It's okay to be scared,"_  she told me, her voice calm and comforting. It was something that she said to me before, weeks before she died.  _"Love makes you feel all kind of things. It isn't all about happiness and adoration. Love is also about pain. If loving him caused you pain, then that's because you truly loved him. But dear, just because it hurt you doesn't mean that you wouldn't give yourself another chance. Nothing could ever compare with the feeling of being loved back by someone you love. And you, Levi, deserves it just like or more than anyone else. It's because you love deeply. So don't waste it and don't let your past keep you from being happy."_

 

Maybe she's right. I have been so caught up with my past that I even forgot about her advice. I've been so lost in the grey of hurt and betrayal that I ignored the affection being directed at me. I made myself believe that I wasn't worth being loved, when it has been wrong all along.

 

If Eren could be happy with Annie, then I could also be happy with some else.

 

"Thanks, Ma. I love you."

*****

I was sitting on the couch drinking tea when Farlan arrived. Eyeing his disheveled hair and slumping form, the day seemed to cause him exhaustion. His eyes were tired and he was moving sluggishly. Toeing off his shoe, he made his way to the couch adjacent to where I was sitting, hand moving to loosen up his tie as his body relaxed on the couch.

 

"Busy day?" I asked, watching him from my spot. He only grunted in response, wiping his face with the palm of his hand. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

 

He smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, I could use that."

 

"I'll get you one. Just rest there."

 

"Thanks, Levi."

I only hummed in response, getting off the couch to get him his tea. The content of the kettle was still hot, so I just had to transfer it to a cup before I was back to give it to him. He accepted the cup with a grateful smile, lightly blowing off the surface before sipping.

 

"Stressful day at work?" It was rare of me to start a conversation and Farlan's reaction justified that. He stopped drinking his tea to look at me dumbfounded, letting a few seconds pass before he smiled and nodded.

 

"Yeah. Tons of files to work on, but I made it through alive." By the tone of his voice, I got a feeling that he made it through  _barely_  alive.

 

"By the looks of you, it was quite obvious. Making money is fucking hard." He nodded in agreement, obviously delighted in our conversation. I found it weird that he could be so happy in such simple things like talking with me, but then I remembered what  _I_  felt when I was with Eren back then. Simple things such as small talk or just the presence of the other could make you happy. If Farlan's feelings for me was as strong as what I felt for Eren before, then I would understand it, even if it didn't make any sense. It didn't make sense to me before even though I felt  it and that didn't change even now.

 

Love was comprised of things that didn't make sense most of the times, but people still seek and want it for themselves.

 

Farlan started talking rather animatedly, exhaustion from before dissipating as he rambled about things from work. I was listening to him, only nodding and occasionally responding with words, but Farlan was okay with it.

 

"There's this girl at work. A week ago she cconfessed to me, asking me if I want to go on a date with me."

 

Well, that was unexpected. I met his eyes and he was looking uncomfortable but continued his story when I gave him a short nod.

 

"I wasn't really expecting it. Sure, I could hear some rumors going around the office but I never gave mind to it. Then last week after work, she approached me and asked me if I wanted to go out with her. I did my best to tell her that I'm not interested without hurting her too much. It didn't work though." He sighed, staying silent for a minute, probably recalling the event. "I told her that I already liked someone."

 

For the past hours, I mulled over the thought of going out with him. I realized that maybe it wouldn't be too bad. We've known each other for years now and ever since he confessed to me, he didn't go out with anyone. I could be reassured that his feelings towards me was genuine.

 

If I could entrust myself again to anyone, it would be better if it would be Farlan.

 

"Farlan," I softly called his name. He looked at me like he was waiting for me to stop him from talking about his feelings for me, but this time, it would be the opposite.

 

"I'm sorry, Levi. I knew that you told me to stop and believe me, I'm trying. I don't want—"

 

"Could you let me fucking talk first?"

 

He shut his mouth before nodding. I sighed.

 

"I knew that I told you before to stop and it might be late for this now but...I don't know. You could say that I had some realization and thought that it might be the right time to try again."

 

Farlan has a shocked look on his face. His eyes were wide as he stared at me, mouth opening then closing, like a fish out of the water. It was a comical sight and it would've made me smirk if the situation was not as serious as it was.

 

Neither of us talked. He looked like he was still taking what I said in. Seconds later his lips started to curl into a smile, but stopped it halfway, trying to not look too hopeful. He failed.

 

"Are you... Are you saying that you would give me a chance?"

 

I hid my smirk behind my cup. "Who told you that I'm going to give you a chance?"

 

He visibly deflated. "...oh."

 

He obviously didn't know that it was a joke.

 

"Farlan, you idiot. Couldn't you fucking tell which one is a joke?" I watched as he practically beamed, leaping off the couch to hug me. His grip on me was so tight I thought that he would break my ribs.

 

"Let go, Farlan. You'll crush me."

 

He let go as if he's been burned. Farlan was smiling eye to eye, his eyes glossy. I never saw him this happy. "Oh sorry, sorry. I'm just so happy. Thank you, Levi. I wouldn't promise you anything, but I would do my best to make you happy. I don't want to see you hurt again."

 

I let a small smile grace my lips. "Yeah."  _I know._

 

_*****_

 

Isabel was elated when he heard the news. She asked me why it took me this long to agree, but I didn't answer her. She didn't know anything about my past with Eren and I decided that it would be better for her if it remained that way.

 

The kid seemed to be fascinated by him.

 

The day of my flight came. Farlan woke up earlier than usual to prepare us breakfast. Isabel has been teasing him nonstop, causing his face to flush and stumble over his own words. It was amusing to watch and a great sight to see before I leave.

 

Breakfast came by fast. Farlan didn't have to come to work today, his boss giving him a break for the work he has done yesterday. He told me to get myself ready and let him do the dishes, an offer that I took easily. I dressed in a simple black button up shirt and a pair of jeans after a shower. I just finished buttoning my shirt up when my phone rang. Hange's name was flashing on the screen.

 

"What is it?" I didn't need to greet them with formalities. Hange was far from formal, anyway.

 

"Good morning, Mr. Grump. Are you ready? If you don't mind, could you pick me up before you head to the airport?" Their voice was so loud I had to keep it a good inch away from my ear. How could they be so fucking loud this early?

 

"Why would I fucking do that?"

 

"Levi, I'm your manager. And Erwin told me that I should be there. It would be easier if we could just go to the airport together, munchkin."

 

I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but I forgot that Hange was my manager.

 

I clickes my tongue. "Fine. But you better be fucking ready alredy, I won't wait for your sorry ass."

 

"Mhmm, I'll be seeing you then, Little Captain."

 

"Stop with the fucking name calling!" Before they could even respond, I ended the call. A knock came from the door. "Come in."

 

When the door opened, Farlan stepped in eith a worried look on his face. "Is everything alright? I heard you shout."

 

I looked back on my phone before I shook my head. "It's nothing."

 

He looked doubtful but he let it slip. "Are you ready to go?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Farlan helped me carry my belongings. We left the house after locking the door, placing my bags in the trunk before we started the trip to Hange's house. Hange was out their house when we arrived, Farlan getting out to help them put their belongings in the trunk before we drove to the airport. It was a short ride, only taking about 25 minutes, then Farlan was helping us get out things out of the car.

 

"Take care, Levi. Call me once you get there, okay?" Farlan said with a small smile on his face.

 

"Yeah, you too. Don't forget what I told you and Iz before."

 

Chuckling, he responded, "Yeah." He then turned to face Hange. "Please take care of him."

 

Hange laughed, patting Farlan's back. "Don't worry, I won't let him get a single scratch."

 

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, Hange. Between the two of us, it is  _yo_ u who needs a fucking  guardian."

 

Farlan turned to face me, his face taking a serious expression. "I mean it, Levi. Call me whenever you can. I want to be updated."

 

"I told you that I will, didn't I? Don't worry too much."

 

He took my hand squeezing it lightly. "Is it okay if I do something?" He asked me pleadingly.

 

I was reluctant to give him a go with his request. I'm not sure what he's going to do but more than that, the fact that Hange was here made me more unwilling. But he was looking at me intently, his blue gaze not wavering. I let him win.

 

Side eyeing Hange who was eagerly watching us, I let out a sigh. "Fine."

 

Farlan stepped forward, his lips forming a small smile. The next thing I knew, Farlan had his lips on my forehead before he hugged me. The kiss was short, but it still made me feel warm.

 

Farlan bid us his goodbye. When he was out of the place we started walking to where we would wait until our flight. None of us were talking but Hange was buzzing beside me irritatingly.

 

"Just fucking talk if you want to. Why could you be so annoying even when your fucking mouth is shut?"

 

Hange placed their hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Tell me, Levi. What's going on with you two?"

 

I answered them with silence. I knew that Hange already had something in mind, so it's not like my answer would be needed.

 

"Oh my, are you two dating? Ahh, I guess you are! And that kiss, that was so sweet!"

 

"Hange, could you fucking lower your voice? We're in a goddamn airport."

 

"Since when did you start dating? Why am I missing out? Levi, are you starting to forget about me?"

 

I kept on walking. Hange kept on with their dramatics, moaning about me forgetting them. When we reached the waiting area I set my baggage down before facing to glare at them.

 

"Stop with your shits, Hange. I only allowed him yesterday. We haven't gone to do anything yet."

 

Hange suddenly became serious. It was like a switch was turned on. "Levi, if he ever hurt you I—"

 

"I've already heard that from Isabel, Shitty Glasses. And I know that he wouldn't hurt me. I know it."

 

They didn't say anything about it after that. Hange started prattling about our filming, about the places that we're going to work at. Hange also notified me about the upcoming interviews that I will be having, most of it being together with Yeager.

 

Speaking of the devil, I saw Eren walking to our direction with his baggage in tow. He was looking around until he saw us. We watched silently as he approached us.

 

He smiled at us. "Hey Levi. It was nice to see you, Hange."

 

I gave a noncommittal grunt. Hange smiled back, but it wasn't as friendly as it had been before. "I could say the same to you, Eren."

 

That was the most formal greetings I heard from Hange.

 

I guess they were acting like that because they knew about my past with Eren. Eren seemed to be a little caught off guard with the less than warm greeting, but forced an uncomfortable smile on his face.

 

We didn't have to wait too long for the others. They arrived one after the after and soon enough, we were comfortably sitting in the plane. Even Hange—who was sitting beside me—had the mind to stay quiet for the ride. I had my earphones one the whole ride, trying to sleep away the hours.

 

When we landed, there are vans waiting for our arrival. It made the travel to the hotel where we'll be staying in for the upcoming weeks bearable.

 

The hotel that we will be staying in was grand. The excited chatter of the staffs bursted when we entered the establishment, eyeing every corner of the place, a large chandelier hanging above us. Erwin rounded us up and told us which room we will be in, but didn't tell us who we're going to share it with. After that he let us go, telling us to rest and enjoy the day before our hectic schedule arrives.

 

I searched for my room alone, Hange staying behind with Erwin to talk about something. I didn't know about their connection before, but they had known each other long before I got casted in the film. When I asked them why they didn't tell me, they said that it was nothing and they didn't go around telling everyone about their connection.

 

After a short trip in the elevator, I walked through the hallway, searching for my room. The thought of sharing it with someone bothers me. What if they were messy? I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from telling them to clean their shit.

 

Room 104. I went closer to the door, checking if it's still locked. When it wasn't locked, I entered the room, thankful that the room is spacious enough and has two beds in it. I could hear someone talking, probably having a phone call. I stayed as quiet as possible, ambling towards the bed and sitting on the bed once I got close to it. The sheets smelled fresh and the mattress was soft. It was comfortable to sit and lay on.

 

Opening my suitcase, I started putting my clothes in the closet. There were two decently sized closet which means I wouldn't have to share it with my roommate. As I retrieves my belongings from my bag, the man—at least, from what I heard—came inside, still talking.

 

"Yeah, I know that. I'll always message you whenever I can. Yeah. Don't worry too much, okay? I could handle myself."

 

Fuck. His voice was familiar.  _To_ o familiar for my liking. For fuck's sake, couldn't they give me a fucking break?

 

"Okay. Take care, okay? Yes. I love you too. Bye." Looks like he ended the call. I kept my back facing him, screaming out curses in my mind. Fucking hell. Out of all those people, why did I have to end up with him?

 

"Oh, you're here already. Sorry I wasn't able to see you enter, I was talking with someone—wait, is that you, Levi?"

 

I closed my eyes tightly, letting out a harsh breath before composing myself. I stood up and faced him, my face blank.

 

"Yeager, it was nice to see you. Guess I'll be rooming with you for the next three weeks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are gonna start progressing after this chapter. Who knows? You guys might get the answer to your questions soon ;)


	16. Act XVI

Why couldn't they give me a fucking break? As if it wasn't enough that I'll be spending the next three weeks here in Sina just to work with Eren, I even have to spend the next three weeks rooming with him. If that wasn't the cherry on top of the bullshit cake, then I didn't know what is.

 

"So you're the one I'm going to room with?" Eren was staring at me, an unsure look settling on his face. At first I thought that it would stir some unpleasant emotion inside me but it didn't. Looks like we're on the same page.

 

"Great observing skill, Yeager. Much to both of our dismay, yes. And knowing Erwin, I doubt that he's going to change his mind about this so let's just fucking suck it up."

 

I didn't wait for his reaction and turned my focus back to arranging my clothes in the closet. I was thankful for his silence, leaving the room in a quiet—albeit a little awkward—atmosphere.

 

Once I was done arranging my belongings I took my phone and made my way to the balcony and dialed Farlan's number, passing by Eren without looking at him. I listened as it rang, one, two, three times before the call was picked up, Farlan's voice filtering through the speaker.

 

"Levi," Farlan gasped, sounding elated. I fought the small smile threatening to break through my passive expression.

 

"Farlan." My voice held a teasing tone. I couldn't help it. Hearing him this way, like he wasn't expecting me to call him and was surprised when I did, was refreshing.

 

"How're you? What are you doing? Are you tired? You should rest if you are. Your workload is heavy for the coming weeks. I don't want you to strain yourself." I shook my head, chuckling silently. He sounded like a mother worrying over her child.

 

"I'm fine, Farlan. I just finished unpacking my stuffs and no, I'm not tired. I told you I'll call you once I get here, didn't I?" There was a small smile on my lips. I couldn't really help it. It has been a long time since I entertained anyone, so having someone acting like this over me is like a new fucking experience. It wasn't bad so I didn't mind it.

 

"Yes, yes you did. Sorry if I'm acting like this. I'm just—ugh, Levi. You're making a mess out of me. I couldn't even gather my thoughts properly." He let out a drawn out groan and I heard a little shuffling from the other line.

 

"Am I? Well, I'm honored to be the who could mess with level-headed Farlan Church," I snickered, a smirk tugging on my lips.

 

"Stop that, Levi. You shouldn't take advantage of it, you hear me?"

 

"Yeah, yeah."

 

"So, how're you doing there? Any plans?"

 

I stayed silent for a moment, pondering over what I should do for the rest of the day. "I don't have anything in mind yet but knowing Hange, I'm sure that they'll drag me to fuck knows where."

 

He laughed. "I agree with you on that. So, Levi. . . can I ask you about something?"

 

I hummed. "Go on."

 

As I waited for him to speak again, I rested my forearm on the railing and leaned on it. Looking around, I took in my surroundings. Not far away from the hotel was an ocean, the sight of the blue water calming and serene.

 

"Levi, once you're back here, could we go on a date? I wanted to watch a play with you and have dinner afterwards. That's if it's okay with you." He sounded anxious. I could hear his deep breathing through the call, making me want to calm him.

 

"Yeah, I would love that."

 

A gasp was the first thing I heard then his very elated voice. "Really? You're going out with me?"

 

"Yeah," I replied. "We're dating, right?"

 

"Yes. I just couldn't believe it." He laughed. "God, that was so good to hear. I've been wanting this for so long. Hey, Levi. I have something to tell you."

 

Rolling my eyes at his over enthusiastic tone I replied, " What is it?"

 

"I love you."

 

That caught me off guard. I tried to speak, but I couldn't get any word out. Out of all the things he could say, that was one thing that I didn't expect.

 

I wouldn't say that it was too early for him to say it. He has been asking me out for years. But hearing it from him causes a turmoil inside me. What should I say?

 

"I—" I couldn't get anything out of my mouth. It felt like my tongue was tied in knots, like every word in the dictionary vanished. I closed my mouth and took a deep breath.

 

"Farlan—"

 

"It's okay, Levi. You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know, okay?" The way he said it made me really believe that it was fine. It sounded reassuring. But it didn't made me feel better.

 

"Fine. Just don't drop the fucking bomb without any warning again, for fuck's sake."

 

Farlan laughed again, a light and carefree laugh. "Yeah, yeah. It was nice to hear your voice. Go on and rest before Hange come and get you, okay?"

 

I hummed, nodding despite knowing that he wouldn't see me. "I will. Thanks for the worry, Farlan."

 

"Anything for you. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

 

Replying with a soft 'Yes, I will', I ended the call. Turning around I saw Eren standing by the door, looking at me with a passive look in his face. Glaring, I asked him, "What?"

 

Expression not changing, he shook his head. "Nothing." He sounded blank. "I'm going out."

 

Not waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

 

What the fuck was that for?

* * *

 

Erwin gave us another free day before we started to work. I spent the day walking around the town, Hange tugging me along with them. They have been so keen on getting me out of my hotel room, telling me that it wasn't good to stay cooped up in the place when there are plenty of places to visit. I knew better than that, though. I stayed in this place long enough to know what it looks like. The truth was Hange just wanted to get me as far away to Eren as possible.

 

Not that they needed to. Yesterday, I insisted that I was tired and wanted to rest the day away. Knowing that I wouldn't budge, Hange let me on my own devices. Eren hasn't been with me most of the day, spending his time out with Jean. The only time he has spent inside our shared hotel room was when he showered and took a nap before he went out again, only returning late in the night smelling like liquor.

 

When I woke up earlier, the sun was already high up and Eren was already gone.

 

"Come on, Levi. Move those tiny legs faster so we could go to the beach!" Hange shouted excitedly as they dragged me, my feet trying to fuse itself with the ground. The more I dragged my feet the harder they pulled, so I just sighed and let them take me.

 

The walk to the beach took almost half an hour. It shouldn't be that long, but Hange kept on stopping by whatever caught their interest—which consisted of almost everything they saw.

 

"I don't even know why you're bothering me to go to the fucking beach. In case you couldn't see, I didn't bring any shits."

 

Hange slowed down walking, looking back at me to flash a toothy grin. "See this?" They gestured and patted the bag they had slinging on their shoulder. "I've got everything ready, Grumpy Pants."

 

"Fucking hell." Hange cackled loudly after hearing me grumble. I remained silent all the way to the beach. My eyes were glued to the ground until I heard a gasp which made me look up.

 

We were only a few meters away from the ocean. Hange pulled me harder before they took off in a run, my short legs struggling to cope up with the pace. Internally cursing my short legs and Hange, it only took another five minutes before we were walking on sand.

 

Searching for a place with enough shade, Hange and I settled under a palm tree. I watched as Hange knelt down on the sand before pulling out a cloth from their bag, setting it on the sand then sat down on it. Looking at me they patted the empty spot beside them. Rolling my eyes I sat down, both of us removing our shoes to scoot closer to the tree to lean on it.

 

There weren't many people crowding the place, leaving it almost bare. The azure water was calm, the waves lapping at the shore with crashing sound. The white sand was clear of any litter, small seashells scattered amongst the sand. The sea breeze leaves a warm feeling on our skin. I wouldn't admit it to anyone aloud, but this was relaxing. It has been long since I last visited this place, but I did miss it a little.

 

"Levi, I just want to know, is Eren bothering you? I tried to talk about it with Erwin, but he didn't agree to change your room without any valid reason."

 

"He wasn't." Hange looked at me, searching for any hint of lies. They didn't have to. There was no use in lying since Eren wasn't really being a bother. "I'm not lying. Yesterday he spent the better part of the day outside."

 

"Well, at least it wasn't as bad as I thought," Hange murmured, sighing a little. "I really liked him before as a person, you know? He looked like a good man. I'm not sure about that now, though."

 

I shrugged, dismissing the thought. Eren was a good person. I knew that very well before. But now, I wasn't really sure. "Neither do I."

 

We fell into silence. It was rare for Hange to be this silent, but I guessed that maybe they're enjoying the serenity of the place. Serenity that would surely be destroyed if they open their big mouth so they opted to stay quiet.

 

Maybe I could send Farlan a photo of this place. We used to frequent here before, so maybe seeing that it didn't change would make him happy. Taking out my phone, I took a picture before sending it directly to Farlan's contact.

 

I wasn't expecting a reply since I knew that he was working, but after a few minutes, I received a reply from him.

 

"Who's it?" Hange asked, trying to look at my phone. I pushed their face away from me.

 

"Fuck off, Hange. It's none of your business."

 

"But  _you_   _are_ my business." I raised an eyebrow at them, shooting them an incredulous look. "Come on, Levi. I'm your manager, remember?"

 

"That doesn't mean that you're going to invade my private life. Fuck off, Shitty Glasses."

 

Hange let out a loud, ugly sounding laugh. I didn't know how the hell they could make such sounds. "It's Farlan, isn't it?" Hange cooed. I glared at them. "Ah, you two reminded me of teenagers who couldn't stop talking to each other."

 

"Fuck off. We're not. I just sent him a picture of this goddamn place because we used to go here, for fuck's sake."

 

"My Grumpy Pants being sentimental? Wow."

 

I glared daggers at them, wishing for it to become actual daggers. "Fuck off, Hange."

 

Hange continued teasing but I ignored them. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. Scooting away from them as far as the cloth we're sitting on would allow, I lightly kicked their leg when they tried to get closer to me.

 

Knowing that Hange would stop their childish antics, I opened Farlan's message.

 

 **Farlan, 14:34:** Is that the beach we used to visit before? If it is, I'm amazed that it hasn't changed. I would like to go back there sometime. :)

 

 **Levi, 14:42:** Yeah, it is. I'm surprised to see it hasn't changed much when I arrived. Aren't you working?

 

It only took a few seconds before I received another reply.

 

 **Farlan, 14:42:** I do, but I'm taking a break. How's it going there?

 

Taking a break, huh? Maybe I could indulge him a bit.

 

 **Levi, 14:43:** Everything's fine. Work will start tomorrow.

 

 **Farlan, 14:43:** I see. Goodluck, I know you're gonna do well :)

 

 **Levi, 14:44:** Thanks.

 

 **Farlan, 14:44:** No problem, Levi. I gotta start working again. Take care, okay?

 

 **Levi, 14:44:** I will. Take care of the house, Isabel and yourself.

 

 **Farlan, 14:45:** I will. :*

 

I shook my head at the emoji. Farlan texted like a fucking teenager, but didn't fail to bring a small smile on my face.

 

"Ooh, now you're smiling," Hange teased with a smirk on their face.

 

"I'm gonna wipe that fucking look on your face with my fist." Hange shut their mouth, but the pleased look on their face made me even more pissed.

 

We left after another hour. Hange insisted that we should grab something to eat, pulling me to a café fifteen minutes away from the beach without my permission. We spent another hour there before we walked around the town again.

 

To say that my feet were fucking sore when I was able to get back to the hotel would be a fucking understatement. It was already past eight in the evening, Hange and I already had our dinner at the hotel.

 

All there was left to do was rest. I unlocked the door with the keycard, heading straight to my bed before I plopped down on it, my face hitting the soft and clean smelling sheet. A sigh escaped my lips. Spending the day with Hange got to be the most exhausting person to be with.

 

I wanted to take a shower, but feeling the pain of my feet, I decided to rest for at least twenty minutes before I touched any water. Reveling in the silence of the room, I closed my eyes to try and take a nap before the door suddenly opened.

 

Eren came in, wearing a small frown on his face. He only shot me a nod when he saw me before making a beeline to the balcony. The smell of cigarette followed soon as he stood outside, my nose crinkling because of the disgusting smell.

 

Sitting up I tried to peer outside, my eyes settling on Eren who was leaning on the railing, releasing the smoke from his mouth. The sight of him smoking made me frown. Since when did Eren start smoking?

 

And why am I even giving a shit about it? He's old enough to know what he should and shouldn't do. If he wanted to smoke that death stick, then he could fucking do it.

 

Eren stayed outside even after his cigarette was finished. Feeling that I already rested enough, I stood up and took some clothes before proceeding to the bathroom to take a shower.

 

I felt so refreshed after showering the filth out of my body. Eren went to the bathroom when I was already a few feet away from him probably to also take a shower. It was good because I didn't want the room to smell of cigarettes.

 

Neither of us talked for the remaining hours of the night. We acted like the other wasn't existing, as if we are air. It brought a heavy air in the room, but I honestly couldn't think if anything would be better than this.

 

* * *

 

 

We were up early in the morning the next day. All of us gathered at the lobby and I thought that having the past two days for ourselves helped them relax. Each familiar faces looked more refreshed than they ever did.

 

Well, except Eren.

 

Eren has dark bags under his eyes, normally bright turquoise eyes dull. His body was slightly slumping, making him look out of place in a sea of bright, well-rested people. I had no idea that he wasn't able to rest properly last night. It's not like I could do a thing about it.

 

Erwin talked to us about what we're going to work with today. It is not a lot, but there'll be a lot of travelling and packing for the set since we're going to visit different places. The first place where we're going to shoot is at the airport, before we go back to the hotel again to film some of the scenes.

 

Once we're at the airport, the staff prepared the set while Christa and Mina started dressing us up. As usual, we were dressed in a suit and tie, Christa keeping my hair as it is while Mina slicked Eren's hair back.

 

"Eren, you need to remove your earrings." Looking through the corner of my eye, I watched as mumbled a silent apology and reached up to remove his earrings from his earlobe and cartilage. He did have some earrings from when we were seventeen. I forgot about it.

 

Mina grabbed Eren's messenger bag from a seat behind them, handing it to Eren who left his earrings in one of the bag's pocket. Before I knew it we were done preparing. Erwin called for us and we boarded the private plane where we're going to have our first scene of the day.

 

As Erwin made sure that the cameras were in the right position, I started reviewing the script, skimming over the lines. Eren already sat at his allocated place, right by the window. I stared at the empty seat beside him for a minute and let out a sigh before following him, leaving my script at Marco's hand.

 

Eren was looking at me the whole time I made my way towards him. It was fucking uncomfortable—what with the withering look on his face—but I managed not to let it show. He didn't look too tired now due to the light makeup on his face, but his eyes gave it all away.

 

Erwin went to this place, catching all of our attention with a single, loud clap. "Let's go for a take."

 

"Quiet on the set!"

 

"Roll it."

 

"Rolling."

 

I took a deep breath, sparing a second to look at Eren who was staring at nothing. I didn't know what was going on in his mind, but he seemed really fucking occupied. He wasn't like this before. Whatever it was, I just hoped that it wouldn't affect our work.

 

"Speed."

 

"Fifteen, take one."

 

I leaned my head to rest on Eren's shoulder while I acted as if I was asleep. Eren's arm was draped across my shoulder, his hand on my head.

 

The assistant director snapped the slate shut before Erwin announced, "Action!"

 

I kept my eyes closed, forcing my body to relax as much as possible. Eren started running his hand through my black locks, his breath fanning on my face as he kept his eyes on me. Seconds later he started calling my—Blake's name, keeping it hushed.

 

"Blake, we're here. Wake up." He patted my shoulder lightly, trying to pull me from my fake slumber. He kept on doing it until I slowly opened my eyes, blinking before looking around.

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep," I muttered getting into my character's role—which is kind of hard to do, considering how different we were. Stretching my body, I ignored Eren's blatant stare (just like what he was supposed to fucking do), only looking at him once I'm done. "What?"

 

He shook his head with a smirk on his face. "Nothing. About you falling asleep, it was fine. Gives you more energy for extra  _activities_  for tonight."

 

I let out a gasp, a horrified expression on my face. "Hunter!"

 

He shook his head, his smirk never leaving his face. "I wasn't serious."

 

I huffed. "You better. We don't—"

 

"But it could be true if you wish." Eren shifted on his seat, leaning his face closer to me. I leaned away until my back made contact with the armrest. "Just tell me."

 

Eren's face was too close for comfort, but it's not like I could do a fucking thing about it. Following the script, I put both of my hands against Eren's chest, pushing him away from me. I didn't put too much strength about it but even if I did, I wasn't sure if I could push him off me completely. The hardness of his chest was enough to speak of his strength. I'm sure that he gained some strength throughout the years.

 

"N-no." I tried to push him again, but he didn't budge. "You know that we can't, Hunter."

 

"Why not?" He purred, running his hand on my right thigh. "You don't want me anymore?"

 

I stared at his eyes, but it still looked dull. I shook my head whispering," I don't." Looking away from him, I continued. "We just have a lot of things to do for the next days. We should save our energy for more important things."

 

"So satisfying my  _needs_ isn't important? I'm hurt."

 

"I didn't mean it that way."

 

Something dangerous flashed in his eyes. "Then show me."

 

I didn't make any move. That's what I was instructed to. If this wasn't a scene, Eren will surely be on his ass right now. The small distance between us was making me uncomfortable.

 

When I stayed still, I knew what he was about to do. He was supposed to close whatever distance was between us and lock his lips with mine. I wasn't sure if I was sure that Farlan wouldn't like any of this.

 

I waited for it, along with the others in the plane, but after ten seconds and he didn't move, I knew that something was wrong. He hesitated and I could clearly see the reluctant in his eyes.

 

"Cut!" Eren slowly got off me, turning to look at the window. Erwin approached us with a small frown on his face. He didn't look angry, he looked more concerned. Eren was a great actor. He wouldn't be like this if the thing that was bothering him wasn't a big issue.

 

"Eren," Erwin carefully called him. "Is everything alright?"

 

"Yes," he replied, but his tone was wavering. "I'm sorry. That was very unprofessional of me." Eren turned to look at me apologetically. "I'm sorry if I offended you. It wasn't my intention."

 

I just wave in a dismissive manner.

 

Erwin spoke again, voice taking its professional tone. "Are you ready now?"

 

When Eren nodded, he went back to his place and we started filming again.

 

Throughout the day, Eren was distracted from his work. Most of the times he was showing reluctance in doing things with me that wasn't an issue before. It was slowing down our work and even though I tried to be more understanding, it's still getting a bit fucking irritating.

 

One of those times was the one we had to do in the hotel. Specifically, inside a room and on the bed. It was making my guts turn in an unpleasant way. Scenes like this were the scenes that I hated filming. We're not going to fuck, but it felt too intimate that it brought memories of the past.

 

But as I said, I'm a fucking professional. I get shits done.

 

We were in the middle of the scene. I pushed away any of my personal thoughts and set myself in Blake's shoes. We were kissing and it was getting a little heated as each moment passed.

 

Breaking the kiss for air, Eren moved to kiss my chin, peppering my jawline with kisses before moving to my neck. I moaned a little (again, just as written in the script) and felt Eren stiffen before he quickly scrambled to get away from me.

 

I sat up, confusion etched on my face. Why the fuck was he being like that? Like I have some kind of shitty deadly disease? I was letting it slip for the first few times, but this is getting too damn much.

 

"Cut!" Erwin said and they stop recording. Erwin stepped into the space we were in, looking at Eren with the same look as he did earlier.

 

"May I talk to you privately?" His tone left him no chance to argue. Without another word Eren stood up and went straight to the door. In a few seconds, he was gone.

 

Erwin sighed before he regarded us with his stare. "That'll be it for now. Pack up and rest, we have a long day tomorrow."

 

Speaking their affirmatives, everyone started to pack up. I didn't bring anything with me, leaving my stuffs in my hotel room before we started the filming again, so I just left after excusing myself from them.

 

Walking through the hallway, I overheard Erwin and Eren talking not too far away from me. They were standing near the corner I was currently in, but they wouldn't see me. Leaning on the wall, I listened to their conversation.

 

"Eren, if you need to go back home, I understand. I will let you go back for a few days. I don't want anything to affect your work."

 

"Sorry, Director. I promise, I won't do it again. I wouldn't let it distract me again."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes, I am."

 

Erwin sighed. "Fine then. We'll resume tomorrow. Go on and rest for tonight."

 

I didn't wait for them to finish before I left. What the hell is up with Yeager? Was it that serious that Erwin would even let him take a leave?

 

Too distracted from the questions I had, I didn't notice that my phone was ringing. When I checked my phone when I was inside our room again, I saw one missed call from Farlan and a message.

 

 **Farlan, 21:03:** Good evening, Levi. Are you busy?

 

I sent him a reply.

 

 **Levi, 21:05:** Sorry, I just got finished. Let me take a shower and I'll get back to you.

 

 **Farlan, 21:06:** Okay :)

 

I only took a quick shower to freshen up and I was back to texting Farlan. We were talking about how our day were, but I didn't mention anything about Eren or our scenes. Ten minutes later Eren arrived, almost slamming the door shut in barely contained vexation.

 

I kept my eyes on him the whole time. He sat on his bed, resting his elbows on his knees before burying his face in his hands. Yeager went silent for a while before he looked up and met my eyes.

 

"Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to react like that."

 

My eyes narrowed at him. "You fucking acted like I had some deadly disease."

 

He sighed, frustration showing on his features. "I told you, it wasn't my intention. You know it."

 

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Do I?"

 

His thick eyebrows furrowed, lips turning down in a frown. "You know—" He was cut off when his phone rang. Taking it from his pocket, the expression on his face turned deadly when he saw the caller. He regarded me with a stare.

 

"Excuse me while I answer this." His tone was low, deadly serious. I never heard him talk like that before, not even when we were together back then.

 

I gave him a nod and watched as he walked out to the balcony. I couldn't hear him from here and didn't want to invade his privacy. He wouldn't go out if he wanted to be heard.

 

It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop, but how couldn't I when Eren was sometimes shouting? I tried to distract myself by texting Farlan, but it could only do so much.

"I told you, Dad. I don't want to. How many fucking times would I have to tell you that?" That was the first thing I heard from him. Eren would try to keep his voice down, but his anger would sometime win over his control.

 

"No, Dad. I won't watch my fucking language. I'm old enough to do whatever the hell I want and decide for myself." He listened to the other person silently, but obviously fuming. "No. I told you, I don't want to. Call me again if you already got that inside your head."

 

Eren let out a frustrated groan, loud enough to be heard by me. He was seething when he went back inside, tossed his phone on the bed, uncaring of where it would land. I had the feeling that he would be happier if it got damaged. Taking some clothes from the closet, he went to the bathroom right after, leaving me wondering to myself.

 

What the fuck was that to get him that worked up? I knew that I wouldn't get any answer, but I couldn't fucking help but think about it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I'm very grateful for your feedback. It's making me more inspired to write <3


	17. Act XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi had some realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments and kudos always makes my day. You guys are so sweet.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy the update :)

Much to Erwin's delight, Eren returned to his usual self the next day. Well, that was when he was at work. When he wasn't in front of the camera, however, it was another story.

 

When we were younger, Eren really had a short fuse. He would get into plenty of fights, no matter how much Carla told him not to. I used to be the one to tend his wounds and scold him, which he will return with an apologetic look and his face and a muttered, "It won't happen again", but I knew better than that. In the short span of weeks I spent with him working, I saw that it has changed and he could control his anger better now.

 

However, it wasn't the case now. He was always frowning, always on edge. I could see that he was trying his best not to release his anger towards any of his coworkers, but it was clear to see that he was failing. Everyone was wary of him, that's why he always stay away from everyone. During breaks I could see him staring at nothing, looking too deep in thought. The calls he received from whoever it was were ignored, Eren putting his phone in silent. I decided that it was much better that way. He almost gave me a fucking heart attack when he shouted during one of his damn phone call earlier in the day.

 

Sighing, I leaned back on the seat I'm resting on, loosening the tie around my neck. Acting was a tiring work. You would think that it's fucking easy, but no. Memorizing the script, remembering how to execute it with the right emotion and actions under bright, blaring lights together with the time span that we needed to meet, it's fucking stressing.

 

"Here Levi, have some soda." I turned to look at Hange who was offering me a can of Pepsi. I love the drink, but you couldn't be too sure if it came from someone lunatic like Hange. Eyeing the beverage with suspicion, I shifted my eyes from the drink to Hange's face and back to the drink again.

 

Hange sighed. "Just take it, will you?" They took my hand and shoved the drink in my palm. "I didn't do anything to it.

 

I narrowed my eyes at them. "You better be fucking sure."

 

When they nodded, I opened the can and drank, feeling the acid burn through my throat. I didn't say anything and focused on the script in my hand, feeling Hange sat close to me.

 

"How's everything going?" Hange inquired, peeking at the script in my hand.

 

"Good. We're already halfway through, but there's still a lot left to film."

 

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something. I just remembered it, but Erwin said that you and Eren will have an interview tomorrow at the hotel's lobby. Erwin thought that it would be better if you two get more exposure to the mass."

 

I shifted on my seat, eyebrows furrowed. "You're shitting me, right?" Hange shook their head. "You're not? Fuck."

 

Out of all the things in this line of work, the thing that I was dreading for the most was interviews. Talking in front of a camera while some person asked you questions that sometimes were too personal was on top of the things that I hated the most in this industry.

 

"Do I really have to?"

 

Once again, Hange nodded. "Of course. You and Eren are required to show up."

 

"Fine," I grumbled half-heartedly. I didn't want to go, but it's not like I had a choice.

 

Now that we were working our ass off, days seemed to become shorter. We woke up early in the morning and went to sleep late—tiring when you have to move around all day. Later that night, when I was done showering and ready to rest, I sent a text to Farlan asking how everything's going as I laid on the bed. Eren arrived minutes later, doing what he did last night—proceeding to shower as soon as he came before talking to whoever it was that called him. This time he was calm, but I could hear the edge of his voice.

 

He went inside around five minutes later. I just got done replying to Farlan when Eren opened the mini fridge at the corner, taking a can of which suspiciously looked like beer. I didn't bother check what's inside the fridge, but it seemed like Eren bought himself cans of beer then kept it in there. He sat on his bed, taking a swig of his drink, water from his wet hair dripping onto the towel around his shoulder.

 

Why the hell was he drinking? We have a long day tomorrow, not to mention a fucking interview. Surely, Erwin wouldn't be fucking pleased if he showed up looking like a pile of shit.

 

I knew that it wasn't my business, but I couldn't help but question his actions. "Why are you drinking? You were aware that we have an interview and a long day tomorrow, aren't you?"

 

Eren turned to look at me, our eyes not breaking any contact. I was glaring at him but he just looked at me plainly. Instead of answering, he lifted the can to his lips before he took a big gulp. My eyes twitched at the sight.

 

"What, Yeager? Has your tongue disappeared? Don't you fucking know how to answer a question?"

 

Eren stood up to throw the can and help himself with another one. "I am aware, Levi. A few cans of beer wouldn't get me shitfaced. I could still work and attend the interview tomorrow."

 

I didn't reply. He said that he still could, so for now that's enough. I turned back my attention to my phone, where Farlan's text was waiting for a reply.

 

 **Farlan, 22:36:** Izzy's at her friends place. Y'know, the one she asked you about. She said she'll be gone for at least three days.

 

 **Levi, 22:38:** That means you're alone in the apartment.

 

 **Farlan, 22:38:** Yes. Made me realize that I miss having you two around.

 

I was typing in my reply to him when another message came.

 

 **Farlan, 22:39:** But I miss having you near me the most.

 

For a moment, I felt myself stiffen while staring at the screen. Farlan liked to say unexpected shits in the most unexpected time, just like how Eren—no. They're different. Stop comparing them for fuck's sake, Levi.

 

 **Farlan, 22:41:** Levi? You still there?

 

Fuck, how long am I staring at my phone? I quickly tapped the phone to reply, frowning at myself. What the fuck are you doing, Levi?

 

 **Levi, 22:42:**  Yeah. Sorry, had to do something.

 

 **Farlan, 22:42:** No, no, it's fine. Maybe we should go rest now, hmm? Don't want you to be tired for tomorrow. I'll call you tomorrow night, okay?

 

 **Levi, 22:43:** Yeah, thanks.

 

 **Farlan, 22:43:** No problem. Good night. I'll see you in my dreams later.

 

 **Levi, 22:44:** Stop it, you sap. Good night.

 

 **Farlan, 22:44:** I won't. :P

 

 **Farlan, 22:44:** <3

 

I stared at the little heart in the message bubble. For a man like Farlan, you wouldn't ever think that he would text the way he did, with the shitty faces and hearts. Still, I couldn't hide the small smile that it painted on my lips once again. Dammit, Farlan.

 

Reaching for the charger on the nightstand, I plugged my phone to the nearest outlet before clicking the lock button. I felt a pair of eyes on me and I turned to see Eren staring at me, currently on his third can of beer. Not breaking eye contact, I asked him with a blank look on my face. "What the fuck are you looking at?"

 

He swallowed his drink first before answering me with another question. "Who are you texting with?"

 

My eyes kept glued to him. For whatever reason, instead of ignoring him like what I would've normally do, I fucking talked back.

 

"What does it have to do with you?" I snapped. The equally blank look on his face didn't change. "And don't answer a question with another fucking question."

 

With my eyes still trained on him, I followed him as he stood up, brushed his teeth, then helped himself on his bed. When he was already sitting with his back leaning on the headboard, he turned his attention back to me. "It's Farlan, wasn't it?"

 

I hardened my glare at him. "So fucking what? Got a problem with that?" Why the hell was he even bothering to know?

 

"I was just returning the act. You questioned my drink earlier, so I think it would be fair if I asked you who you were texting with."

 

"Well excuse me, Yeager. You drinking tonight might affect whatever we had to fucking do tomorrow, while me texting someone wouldn't. Your reasoning fucking failed."

 

"Is it bad if I was curious?" He frowned at me, eyes narrowing a little. "I saw you smile. Is it bad if I wanted to know why?"

 

I wouldn't say that it was bad, but it was my personal life he was trying to put his fucking nose into. And I would not fucking like that.

 

"Well I don't like it, so you could fucking stop now."

 

Eren stared a few seconds at my face—it made me a little conscious, what the fuck was on my face?—before he shrugged. "Fine. If that's what you want."

 

He finally laid down on his back, his eyes closed. I scowled at him before I stood up, switched the light off, before I went back to bed. I laid back down, eyes closed and ready to drift off to sleep. Minutes after, Eren spoke in the dark.

 

"You still looked beautiful when you smile, Levi." I froze when my mind registered what he said. My head turned to look at his direction, the dark making me unable to see anything. "Looks like something hasn't changed."

 

Silence surrounded us after that.

* * *

 

After what Eren said to me last night, it was a miracle that I was even able to fall asleep. My mind has been worked up to overdrive. Why the fuck did he even say that? Why didn't he just keep it to himself?

 

Why did he keep on messing with me?

 

Glaring at my reflection in the mirror, I kept on screaming profanities in my mind. Why couldn't I just let what he said past me and just act as if it never happened? Fuck.

 

Hange waited for me outside of the room I'm sharing with Eren. They greeted me in their usual enthusiastic tone of theirs, but I didn't say anything back. How could someone be this active in the fucking morning?

 

Not in the mood for any of their shits, I walked past them. Noticing my behavior they followed me, shooting me question after fucking question.

 

"What happened? Why are you in such a foul mood?"

 

I stopped walking to glare at them, ignoring that I had to tilt my head up just to meet their eyes. Annoying tall people.

 

"Nothing. Happened." There was a tone of finality in my voice and they finally relented.

 

I quickly went to Christa who did her job as soon as I had changed my clothes and seated. Mina asked me about Eren, knowing that I was sharing a room with him, but not even a word has been said by me when Eren walked in. Mina handed him the clothes that he would be wearing for the interview, patiently waiting for him to finish before she worked on his face.

 

All of us were silent as the two girls worked on us. When the door opened I saw Erwin came in, with his usual air of authority around him. He smiled when he saw the two of us.

 

"Levi, Eren. Are you two ready for your first interview?" Both of us said 'yes' and Erwin nodded in satisfaction. My answer was a lie. Like I said, I fucking hate this part. "This might be nerve wracking at first, but it'll get better. Just try to be as comfortable as possible and don't hesitate to refuse answering any question that makes any of you uncomfortable."

 

Eren and I nodded. Hange stood up and talked to Erwin, excusing themselves to us before leaving the room. When Christa and Mina were done admiring their works, we waited for another twenty minutes before we were called for the interview.

 

The walk to the lobby was tense. None of us talked all the way there, not even glimpsing at each other. We kept our eyes fixed on the way in front of us. I felt a lump form in my throat once my eyes roamed around the lobby, landing on the cameras littering one part of the lobby, along with the microphones right above the seats where it wouldn't be in the cameras' view.

 

One of the their staffs welcomed us and led us to where we're going to be interviewed. There I saw Petra Ral, one of the most popular hosts in television, sitting on a seat across another pair of seats, which I guessed we'll find ourselves in later. Petra stood up and approached us, smiling us while giving each one of us a hug as greetings. She has a petite frame, strawberry blond shoulder length hair and a pair of warm honey-colored eyes.

 

"You're Eren and Levi, I supposed?" she asked, which we nodded in response.

 

"We're going to start in two minutes!" One of the crew informed us.

 

Petra nodded and looked at us again, gesturing to the seats. "Let's take a seat now, shall we?"

 

Placing ourselves in the seats, I swallowed another lump in my throat. I was starting to feel nervous, but I was sure that it wasn't obvious with the look of indifference on my face. We waited for a short moment before the camera started rolling.

 

"Now we're together with the new actors starring Erwin Smith's new film titled  _Temporary Bliss_ , which will be released a few more months from now. Let's welcome Eren Yeager and Levi Ackerman!"

 

Eren and I smiled at the camera, albeit mine being minimal.

 

"We're glad to be here. Thank you for inviting us." Eren said, looking effortlessly amiable. I'm pretty fucking sure that everyone watching us would immediately like Eren better with the way he acts. Not that it was a big deal for me.

 

"So Eren, Levi, would you like to tell us what it feels like to star in a show directed by Erwin Smith, not to mention it being your first movie?" Petra, just like what I had seen of her on TV when Izzy watched her show before, was just as kind and friendly as she was on screen. I could see that it was genuine, not just some front that she put on for the camera.

 

Eren chuckled before answering. "For me it was nerve-wracking. I did audition for it, but I didn't expect to actually get the role. I was really glad but knowing that Erwin Smith would direct it was a bit intimidating for me."

 

Petra looked at me, waiting for an answer. "It was a surprise for me. It has been my dream to get into the big screen, but it was a shock when I received the news that I got the role. I was looking forward to work in the film and having Director Smith as the director was challenging."

 

Petra nodded, satisfied with what she heard. She kept on asking us questions which we both answered honestly. Her questions weren't invasive and she was really entertaining to talk to because of her earnest curiosity and reactions.

 

"How's it working for you two? I heard that there were scenes that were really sexy and intimate. How do you handle it and how does it affect how you two interact?"

 

"Well," Eren started and Petra and I looked at him, "it wasn't really that hard. We always keep in mind that it was business and we were being professional. We both have boundaries and we respect that."

 

When Petra and Eren looked at me, I knew that it was my turn to answer. "He's right. We both knew how to separate life with work and try to be as comfortable with each other as possible. Respect is a big part of it."

 

When Petra has asked us everything she needed to ask, she ended the interview. We stood up and thanked her again once the camera went off, bidding our farewell before we went back to the room that served as the dressing room. On our way to the room, none of us uttered a word.

 

Christa and Mina gave us the same clothes that we wore the day we first started filming. It smelled clean so I guessed that it was already washed. It better fucking be. I would refuse to wear this clothes if it wasn't.

 

The reason why we needed to wear this again was because we're going to resume the scene we left off that night. Erwin decided to postpone filming it yesterday to give us more time to prepare ourselves, especially Eren after his actions the last time we did it. It was nice to know that Erwin not only cared about the film, but also the actors and crews.

 

When we were wearing the designated clothes, Mina and Christa made sure that everything was fine before we headed to where we would film the scene.

 

Erwin was already there when we got to the place. He waited as we prepared for the scene, something that I really appreciated. After the shit that Eren told me last night, I wasn’t prepared to be physically close to him.

 

“Okay, Eren, Levi. We’re going to start. Just tell me if you have anything in mind or if you’re uncomfortable.”

 

Eren and I waited outside for the cue. We were standing next to each other until we were given the go signal. Eren wrapped one of his arms around me and he opened the door, both of us walking inside before he closed it, caging me in his arms as soon as it closed.

 

“Hunter, what are you doing?” I shifted on my feet, pushing him by the chest lightly. “Get off. I told you that we should save our energy for more important things.”

 

Eren slowly leaned in and I felt my body froze. What am I doing? I shouldn’t start getting affected by him and just focus on doing the damn job. This hasn’t been a fucking issue before.

 

“But earlier you told me that my needs is also important, didn’t you, Blake?” His voice took a sultry tone, low and demanding. "Prove it to me."

 

That's when he started kissing me. He moved urgently, pressing his lips against mine. I knew that it was coming, but it didn't prepare me for the searing kiss his lips was working on. I stood there like a statue for what felt like hours before I was able to slip from myself and to my character, my mind becoming blank as I did what was expected from my role.

 

Eren's hand moved from the door and to my back, slowly dragging it down to my waist before it held me in a firm grip. My hands moved to his neck, pulling him closer to me. His tongue prodded my lips and I opened my mouth to give him access, feeling the muscle map the inside of my mouth.

 

He pulled me when he took a step back, turning to keep my back facing the bed. I stepped backwards until I hit the bed, Eren pushing me down until I had my back against it. I pushed myself up until I had my head comfortably resting on the pillow, watching as he crawled his way over to me, stopping when we were face to face.

 

Shit. This was really happening.

 

There was a heavy feeling on my gut, but I put the thought at the back of my mind. I had to be professional. We’re not going to have sex. We wouldn’t even take our clothes off. The ones who’re going to do that were the extras. I could get this done.

 

Eren started attacking my neck. He was littering the expanse of skin with kisses, leaving goosebumps on my skin. His hands roamed my body, but he didn't touch anywhere near my groin, which I was glad for.

 

"H-Hunter..." I faked a moan. Eren stopped what he was doing to look me in the eyes and there was something in there that made me froze once again. It was something that I hadn't seen in a long time.

 

Lust, accompanied by adoration.

 

I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to look at it. Why the hell was he looking at me like that? Maybe he was imagining that I was somebody else.

 

The thought made me sick to my stomach.

 

Eren removed his coat before helping me to do the same. He was caging me with his arms again. I made a mistake of looking right back at him and found myself unable to look away despite the protests of my mind. He moved his hand to my head and ran his hand through my hair, leaving an unexpected kiss on my forehead.

 

That wasn’t included in the fucking script.

 

The kiss was too tender, too innocent, and full of longing. Longing for what, I didn’t have any fucking clue. I closed my eyes tightly, breathing harshly. What the fuck was he doing? Why the fuck was he doing this? I hate this. I fucking hate him.

 

Eren went back to kissing my neck and I had to stop refrain myself from pushing him away. I wanted to get this shit done as soon as possible. After this, we wouldn’t have any scene together until tomorrow. I wanted to get away from him.

 

Unbuttoning the first two buttons of my shirt, Eren started trailing kisses from my ear, my neck, and down to my collar bone. He went on until he was kissing the middle of my chest, right above my heart. Remembering what was instructed to do, I placed my hands on his shoulder, forcing him to lean away.

 

Meeting his eyes, I tried to project as much emotion as I could to the words I was about to say. “I love you, Hunter.”

 

It wasn’t real. The emotion those words had was artificial, made just for the sake of the movie. I knew it, I was sure of it. The true feelings I had for this man was hate and distaste, nothing more than that.

 

Seeing Eren’s eyes get glossy took me off guard. It looked too real to be fake, but I couldn’t be sure about it. He dropped his head to my shoulder, burying his face into my neck before saying in a hushed voice, “I love you too…”

 

“Cut!”

 

When Eren leaned away enough to give me enough space, I took off. I hurriedly stood up and darted straight to the door, ignoring the looks and Erwin’s call for me. I had to get away from him.

 

 On my way to get away, I saw Hange. They frowned when they saw my hurried actions, which I guessed was on the verge of being desperate. They walked beside me without saying any word.  The two of us went out of the hotel, only stopping when I saw a bench a good distance away from the place.

 

Hange, who was luckily holding a bottle of water, gave me the drink and I drank it like my throat hasn’t touched any water for years. They were patiently waiting for me to speak, but I didn’t. Hange sighed.

 

“This is about Eren, isn’t it?” When I didn’t answer, they continued. “What happened?”

 

So I told them. About what he said to me last night, about what he did earlier. I told them about the fear that I’ve been feeling.

 

“It isn’t right, Hange,” I said desperately. “I was supposed to hate him. He destroyed me. He left me alone while he went on in his life with another person. Since I lost him, I lost many things that were dear to me. I…I should hate him, Hange.”

 

Hange looked at me with sympathy. “But you don’t. Is that what you’re telling me, Levi? You don’t hate him, do you?”

 

“Hange, I always knew that I hate him. I had to right to be after what he has fucking done to me. But why am I feeling like this? Why am I reacting to what he was doing? Why am I worrying over him whenever I hear him fighting with whoever it was on the phone? Why…why did I hoped that the longing he showed earlier was for me? I couldn’t fucking understand it.”

 

Hange shifted closer to me, placing their hand over my clenched fists. “Maybe the part of you who has became his lover hated him, but the part of you who was his friend didn’t. You spent years together, longer than you had spent with Farlan, Izzy and I, so it’s not impossible that that part of you never hated him,” they said, trying to soothe me.

“But it wasn’t right. I shouldn’t—“

 

“Levi,” they cut me off. “Why don’t you stop fighting with yourself and let go? You already had Farlan. If you really want to try with him, you have to let go of the past.”

“Hange—“

 

“You have to stop fighting with yourself and leave what he did to you as memories and a lesson. Give him a chance to prove himself worthy to be your friend again. I know that it was eating the two of you inside.”

 

Was Hange right? Should I really give him a chance? I didn’t fucking know if I should or not. My uncertainty is overwhelming.

 

“Levi, I wouldn’t force you into doing it. Just do what you think will be better for you.”

 

“What if I gave him a chance and he wasted it?”

 

Hange smiled. “Then cut him off from your life. You did it before, I’m sure you could do it again if needed be.”

 

“Fine,” I grumbled, feeling Hange lightly squeezed my hand. “But if this all turns to shit, I’m going to fucking blame you.”

 

Hange laughed, nudging my side. “You can bet your glorious ass.”


	18. Act XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just make sure that you won’t fuck this up or you’ll be erased from my life for eternity.”
> 
> And then he smiled at me, the brightest and most genuine one that I have seen from him since we met again. The smile that I thought he once lost.
> 
> “I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. We finally made some progress between Eren and Levi. (I also don't know what to put in the summary so sorry for the sorry excuse of a summary). Please read the notes in the end, thank you!
> 
> Oh, please do leave me a kudos/comment. It really makes my day and kick my sorry ass to write. <3
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Good day, Sir. How may I help you?”

 

“Could you give me a bouquet of red roses and lilies?”

 

The girl at the counter nodded with a smile, excusing herself before she went to grab the things that she needed. The place was filled with different types of flowers—what would you fucking expect from a flower shop—ranging from different colors, filling the space in sweet floral smell. I watched as the girl prepared the bouquet that I asked for, hands working expertly as I waited for her to finish. It didn’t take long until she gave it to me. Giving her the payment, I thanked her before I went out.

 

I hailed a cab. I kept my eyes glued to the window, watching as the colors blend and people pass by in a blur. My hands were firmly resting on my lap. It has been so long since I last visited her.

 

The cab stopped before I even noticed that we arrived. Once I handed the driver my payment, I was already out of the cab and making my way towards the place where she was resting. The cemetery still looked well kept. The grave where my mother lies wasn’t far from the entrance so I was able to reach it after a minute.

 

Knowing that I wouldn’t be needed for the rest of the day, I told Hange to excuse myself to Erwin and went to visit my mother’s grave. Now as I sat in front of her in silence, the feeling of longing accompanied by peace crashed onto me. I placed the bouquet on top of her tombstone, sliding my hand where her name was engraved.

 

“Hey, Ma. It has been so long. How’re you?” I knew that she wouldn’t answer, but I kept on talking, my eyes glued to her name. “Life’s really hard without you. I know that it has been years since you left me, but I still miss you.”

 

I sighed. I was contemplating whether I should tell her about Eren, but if she really was watching me like she told me before she died, then she would know every single thing about his reappearance.

 

“Eren, that fucker. He came back. He re-entered my life like the damn nuisance he really was. Again, it was hard to see him after keeping myself away from him for years. I thought that I could handle being around him again like I forgot that we were even together before, but I didn’t. I cried like a fucking baby in front of him. Fucking pathetic, right?” I let out a chuckle, but it wasn’t as lighthearted as I intended it to be.

 

I could imagine her clearly. Looking at me with a small frown, telling me to watch my language before she would ruffle my hair lovingly. My heart ached for her. I missed her.

 

“I hated him, Ma. I even stayed away from him and avoided talking to him as much as I could. Hell, I was also being an ass to him most of the times. So tell me, why does my subconscious worry over him? Why. . . why does a part of me miss being with him?

 

“I don’t love him, Ma. My love for him disappeared years ago. But I couldn’t deny that I also miss him. I couldn’t hate him completely no matter how much I told not only to him but myself that I hate him. There’s a part in me that’s hoping that we could fix the friendship that we had before.

 

“Hange, that Shitty Glasses, even though they were too much to handle most of the times, I couldn’t deny that they give the best advices when needed.”

 

I let out another sigh. “I don’t know what happened to him, Ma, but I could see that he wasn’t the same as before. Most of the days, he looked like he has the world on his shoulder. His eyes weren’t as bright as they were before. I could see him smile or laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes or sound as free before. I don’t know what happened, but I want to know. I also want to see Carla again. She has been like a second mother to me. I know that she also miss you, Ma.”

 

I stayed there for another hour, just sitting there in silence or occasionally humming to myself. I got the feeling that someone was looking at me from a distance so I looked around, eyebrows furrowed in a frown. There wasn’t a single soul in here except myself.

 

I ended up ignoring it. It was almost noon but the sky was gray so the heat wasn’t unbearable. Giving her my regards, I stood up and left to go to the hotel. On my way back I was thinking of how I should approach Eren, but nothing came to my mind. Fuck, why was this so damn hard? I just had to tell him that I will try to fucking forget what he did before and give him a chance to prove himself. Why were the things that came to my mind were all flat-out shitty?

 

The frustrated groan I let out earned me concerned look from the driver. I shook my head and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples. This was giving me a fucking headache.

 

The room I shared with Eren was void of him when I returned. It was good because I needed the time to think to myself. After a quick shower, I let myself fall back to the bed before turning to bury my face in the mattress.

 

“Fuuuuuck,” I groaned. Ugh. What the fuck was happening to me? I’m acting like a fucking teenager.

 

“Levi?” Eren was here. Fucking great. “What’re you doing?”

 

“Nothing.” At least that’s what my response would sound like if my face wasn’t buried in the sheets.

 

I had a hunch that he didn’t believe it was nothing, but didn’t push it. Turning my head I faced the direction of Eren’s bed where I found him lying down with his eyes closed. Feeling my gaze on him, he opened what of his eyes and stared back.

 

“What?”

 

I tried to shake my head but unable to. A smirk crept up his lips. I knew that I was acting and looking ridiculous right now, but I couldn’t give a damn. I didn’t give a damn what about what he thinks of me right now. I had better things to think about.

 

Like how I would open up the fucking topic of fixing everything between us.

 

Fucking hell.

 

I let out another groan and buried my face into the sheets once again.

 

“Levi, you sure you’re okay?” Eren’s worried voice filtered in. “Want me to get you something?”

 

_Do me a favor and take my fucking brains out._

“Levi?”

 

“’m fine.” Now that I think about it, Eren has something that  _could_  help me. Rolling onto my back, I sat up and regarded him with a stare. “No, wait. I think you could give me something.”

 

He raised a thick eyebrow at me. “And what is it?”

 

I pointed at the mini fridge. “Beer.”

 

Narrowing his eyes at me, he shifted his eyes between the fridge and me before he sighed. “Fine.”

 

Eren stood up and proceeded to take one can of beer for myself and another for him. He tossed me mine and I caught it, muttering ‘thanks’ before I opened it and took a gulp.

 

He was looking at me as if I was doing something weird but stopped when I glared at him.

 

The beer was gone before I knew it. It wasn’t enough so I asked him for another drink. He didn’t ask anything and just gave it to me. The beer was enough to ignore the weird look he was giving me.

 

“You sure you’re okay there, man?”

 

I didn’t know how I managed to drink so much in a span of ten minutes, but I’m already on my sixth can when I felt myself get dizzy. I’m fucking sure that I drank most of Eren’s stash of beer, but I couldn’t even feel sorry for it. Eren was frowning at me from his place on the bed, his legs crossed under him with an elbow on his knee, his chin resting on his palm.

 

“What?” It was slurred. Fuck, it has been so long since I last drank and it was obvious I couldn’t handle my liquor well now. “What’re you staring at, huh?”

 

"Are you sure that you're okay?" Eren asked, aggravated. “It’s not like you to act like this.”

 

I didn’t answer. Instead I reached out my hand, palms up, silently telling him to give me his second beer. Eren rolled his eyes but still gave it to me. Just like the others, it was finished after a few big gulps.

 

“Gods, Levi. I don’t know what to do with you.”

 

“I don’t know what to do with myself either.”

 

Eren looked at me with confusion but shrugged seconds later. He stood up and snatched the can away from my grip, tossing it in the trash just like what he did to the others. My surroundings were spinning and I felt too hot. My hands worked to remove my shirt but I was only successful in tangling it up.

 

I heard a sigh before someone helped me out of my shirt. Eren scooped me off my bed and gently laid me down properly, my head hitting the pillows. I snuggled my face into it, breathing in the clean scent.

 

Eren chuckled, but I felt too relaxed to even try and glare at him. “I’m going out. You drank everything. I’ll be back later.”

 

There was no response for him. He didn’t seem to mind, spending another minute to take his phone and wallet before checking if I was alright. Then he was gone and I blacked out.

 

* * *

 

Eren was no one in sight when I woke up. However, Hange was there. They were sitting at the foot of the bed, tapping away on their phone. Sitting up with a groan, I lightly shook my head at the mild headache I was currently experiencing.

 

“You’re awake,” Hange noted. They were smiling at me and it was unnerving. “How’re you feeling?”

 

“Like shit,” I growled. Hange laughed at my response which I cut off with a harsh glare. It wasn’t that bad. Even back when I was a teenager, I couldn’t really remember experiencing rough hangover, even if I got shitfaced. Hange said that it was a blessing.

 

“Oh, Levi. What did you think you were doing drinking like that? Not to mention drinking  _Eren’s_ drink? He told me that you finished it all off so he had to get out and buy more.” Hange shook their head, a wide grin on their face. “What were you thinking?”

 

I tore my gaze away from them, flopping back down on the bed. “If you keep on spouting shits, you’re the one I’m going to finish off, Shitty Glasses,” I threatened. It wasn’t an empty threat and Hange knew me too well to take it seriously. But when did they ever listened?

 

“That’s how you started fixing things with him? By drinking all his beer?”

“Hange.” I glared at them the best that I could. “Would you please shut the fuck up? You’re going to give me worse headache than a hangover could.”

“Then tell me what you were thinking for acting like that then,” they insisted. As I said, they never knew when to fucking listen. “I’d stop if you tell me.”

 

“Fuck—fine. I was thinking how I should open the fucking topic and I couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t shitty so I drank to help distract myself. Are you fucking happy now?”

 

Hange laughed again, the sound of it reminding me of nails on a chalkboard—unwanted and mind splitting. “Oh Levi, I forgot how awkward you are.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

Hange pointed at the bottled water and a pill on the nightstand. “Drink that.”

 

Rolling my eyes, I did what they said. The effect took minutes later that made me sigh in relief. Stable enough to stand on my own without falling, I got off the bed to brush my teeth. The taste the beer left in my mouth was disgusting.

 

“So. . .” Hange started, bouncing on my bed like the fucking child they were. “Did drinking all of Eren’s beer help you?”

 

“Honestly? Fuck no.” I huffed. Drinking only helped me avoid thinking about me by knocking me off. How the fuck was Eren able to drink cans and cans of those without feeling a bit dizzy? Maybe it was just my shitty tolerance. I had to fucking change that.

 

To my dismay, Hange hanged around even after I told them to go away. It’s for my entertainment, they said. I was thinking whether to remove them from being my manager and start paying them for being a fucking comedian.

 

The next day I went to my mother’s grave, there were a few stems of orange roses lying on top of her tombstone. There was also a candle, the fire still lit thanks to the candle having a container, not allowing wind to blow the fire off. With a frown on my face I looked around, seeing no one but myself in the cemetery. Who brought these here?

 

I sat down, still confused. My mother and I didn’t know a lot of people here considering that we spent the last few months of our first year here in Sina at the hospital. I didn’t know anyone except Farlan and Izzy, keeping only those two long enough to know me. Hange, well, they were also with me, but their presence felt like a nuisance most of the times than it was helpful.

 

Maybe it was Hange? But they didn’t tell me they went here. They would tell me and ask me to come with them if they ever decided to pay a visit.

 

Shaking my head, I dismissed the thought. Continuing to guess whoever brought these here would leave me nowhere, so I just thanked them silently.

 

I sat there in silence. My workload for the following days was heavy. I didn’t know when I would be able to visit here again, so I’m going to take my time.

 

“I told you that I’m going to try and fix what I had with Eren, didn’t I?” I said in a hushed whisper. It felt intimate, even though I was the only one here. I knew that she was listening and that was enough.

 

Hugging my legs to my chest and resting my chin on my knees, I continued. “I don’t know how to approach him about it. You know that I’m not good with those things.” A thought came to my mind causing my eyebrows to almost meet in a frown. “Eren was the one who did wrong, so why am I the one who’s going to take the fucking first move?”

 

Oh, right. Eren tried before. Plenty of times, if I had to be honest. But what did I do? I told him to fuck off. It was really me who put myself in this situation, wasn’t it? Fucking hell.

 

“It would be easier if you were here. You could be like the bridge or something. I know how scared he was of you.”

 

I chuckled. I could remember Eren almost pissing himself when he asked my mother’s permission to date me. It was something that couldn’t be forgotten.

 

“I’m not sure about this shit I’m going to do, Ma.” I’m risking almost everything in doing this again. Eren was a huge risk, but was it really something that I was ready to face? Was being friends with him worth all of the pain that the past gave me and future would bring?

 

Fucking life choices.

 

Except me, no one visited anyone buried in the cemetery. It left me in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable so I didn’t mind. There was a tumbler of tea inside my bag so I took it out and drank some to quench the dryness starting in my throat.

 

Just three days from now, it would be her death anniversary. It was the day that I hated the most. I used to stay inside my room all day when it came, disconnecting, making myself reclusive from the outside slowly days before it. Since I have a job and responsibility, I wouldn’t be able to do that.

 

I didn’t know if it was because of the peaceful silence or mental fatigue stressing over Eren, but I fell asleep there like that. The droplets of water falling from above me were what woke me up. I slowly gained my consciousness from feeling the drops seep through the fabric of my shirt, leaving cooling trails on my skin. The thought of getting sick didn’t bother me. I reveled in the feeling as I closed my eyes.

 

That feeling, however, didn’t last longer than ten minutes. I stopped feeling the cold droplets on my skin. It stopped raining.

 

I opened my eyes. It was still, in fact, raining. Looking around I saw a pair of feet standing close beside me. My eyes trailed up from it and saw that it was none other than Eren, looking down at me with a frown on his face and a black umbrella in hand. He was dry while I was soaked to the bones from the rain. We stared at each other, worry swirling in his turquoise irises, before he offered a hand for me to help me stand up. Taking his offered hand I heaved myself up, loosing my footing before I stabilized myself with his help.

 

“What are you doing, Levi?” he asked, his worry now lacing his voice. “For fuck’s sake, you shouldn’t let yourself out in the open like that! What if you get sick? Goddammit, I thought you were the responsible one.”

 

He was scolding me as if I was a child. Normally I would retaliate, but my hazy mind wouldn’t allow that. Instead I found myself stepping closer to him, feeling his heat radiating from his body.

 

Ah, yes. Eren was a fucking heater.

 

Both of us let out a sigh, but for different reasons. Mine was for satisfaction of being close to something that would give me some form of heat, but Eren was one of worry.

 

“C’mon, let’s go. You need to get out of those clothes.”

 

Eren helped me walked by wrapping one of his arms around my waist. I was feeling so dizzy I couldn’t even stand on my own two feet without his help. I haven’t been able to get a wink of sleep last night and worked for hours earlier, so it wasn’t surprising that I was feeling like shit. Eren assisted me in climbing inside the cab before he went to the other side and went in.

 

The driver also looked at us worriedly, asking if we needed to go to the hospital. Eren was about to say yes when I interrupted him, telling them that I only needed some rest and I’ll be fine. Knowing that arguing with me would lead to nowhere, Eren relented with a sigh, telling the driver the name of the hotel we were staying in.

 

Eren didn’t stare at me during the whole ride, but he was taking glances often. I could feel his intent gaze burning through my skin. The look of worry never left his face and I would’ve felt a little grateful for it not for the spinning my vision was experiencing. The way up to our hotel room was a challenge, people looking at us as we made our way there. We must’ve been quite a fucking sight.

 

When we were in the comfort of our room, Eren took me straight to the bathroom. He filled the tub with warm water before stripping me off, leaving me in my boxers. Eren situated me in the tub by lifting me off before gently lowering me in the water, allowing the water to warm my cool skin. He placed a hand on my forehead and neck before muttering curses under his breath.

 

“Fuck, you’re burning up, Levi,” he said, aggravated with worry. “Stay here, okay? I’m going to call Hange.”

 

I did as he told me. It’s not like I could go anywhere in my fucking condition. The water felt like heaven against my skin and I let myself slid lower, lower, and lower into the tub until I had my nose under water.

 

“Hange? Yes, this is Eren. It’s about Levi. I would like to ask if you could go buy some—fuck!” I heard Eren shouted before I was pulled out of the water, which was now reaching just inches below my collarbone. I looked at Eren through the haze of my vision but saw nothing but a blurry version of him.

 

“What are you doing, Levi?” he asked in a shaky whisper. “You’re scaring the shit out of me.”

 

Eren’s hand started running through my wet locks. Not able to help myself, I leaned into his touch, seeking warmth. Eren kept on talking to his phone before he hanged up, turning all of his attention back to me.

 

“Wait, I think I have a carton of juice out here. Don’t do anything dangerous, Levi. I’m watching you.” His voice sounded so stern that I nodded even without understanding it.

 

He went outside the bathroom and started on his search. Without anything to do, I stared at the tiled wall in front of me. Hearing a faint ‘Yes!’ from the outside, I soon found Eren back inside, a small carton of juice in hand.

 

“Here.” He handed me the drink, the straw already plunged inside. “Drink that while we wait for Hange, okay?”

 

I stared at him before I shifted my eyes to the drink, lifting the drink just enough to take a sip from it. It was apple.

 

I was only able to take a few sips before I gave it back to him. I guessed that I spaced out since when he took the drink from my hand, he then helped me out of the tub and wrapped me in a towel.

 

“I’m going out so you could change your clothes. Call me if you need any help, okay?”

 

No words came out of my mouth when I tried to speak so I just nodded. He smiled gently at me before he went out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Taking off my underwear, I took the fresh pair Eren prepared for me and wore it, followed by a pair of black sweats before the plain white shirt. I had to support my weight by stabilizing myself using the walls, but I was able to walk up to the door before I saw Eren waiting outside.

 

Without another word, he helped me get to my bed. My head hit the soft pillow not long after, my body relaxing as it tried to get some much-needed sleep.

 

“Go on and rest, Levi. I’ll stay here.”

 

With that, I let slumber take over me.

 

True to his word, Eren stayed the whole time I was asleep. He was watching something on the TV placed by the wall near the end of our bed. When he noticed that I stirred awake, his attention was all placed on me.

 

“How’re you feeling, Levi?” I could detect the worry he was trying to hide, maybe because he thought he was becoming overbearing. “Do you think you could drink the medicine Hange bought for you?”

 

My throat was as dry as the fucking desert. I tried to croak out a response, but nothing sounded near from what I was trying to produce so I just nodded again. Eren handed me a glass of water and the medicine which I consumed fast.

 

There was a moment of silence before I spoke. “Thank you, Eren.”

 

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Just don’t scare the shit out of me like that again.” Just like earlier I nodded, and silence reigned once again.

 

As I settled back down, Eren turned his attention to the show on the TV. I wanted to ask him about something, but I wasn’t really sure about how I should start it.

 

I let out a soft sigh. Fuck it.

 

“Hey, Eren,” I called out. Eren unglued his eyes from the screen and turned to face me.

 

“What?”

 

This was now or never. “Was it you who left those flowers and candle on Ma’s grave?”

 

Eren went silent for a while, looking unsure. He was shifting his gaze from me to the wall before he sighed. “Yes.”

 

I frowned. “How did you know the place?”

 

Eren ran his hand through his hair, looking away. “Yesterday, I thought that I made you uncomfortable after you walked out of the set so I decided to apologize. However after you talked with Hange, you went off to somewhere so I decided to follow you. It wasn’t until you left that I went to check who you visited and saw that it was Kuchel. . .” he trailed off, voice straining.

 

It took him a few seconds before he could continue. “I’m very sorry, Levi. I wasn’t there when she died. I also failed my promise to her. I know that it wouldn’t change a thing, but I’m very sorry.”

 

Eren looked like he was on the verge of tears. I watched him for a minute before I shook my head, calling his name to get his attention. When he looked at me, I let out a small, awkward smile.

 

“It’s fine, Eren. You know her. If you really are sorry, she would forgive you.”

 

“But—“

 

“Shut it.”

 

“How about you?” he asked, sounding unsure. It didn’t fit the image that he successfully constructed in my mind now—calm and collected.

 

“What about me?” I asked in return.

 

“What should I do so you could forgive me?”

 

Eren was staring at me, the same intense gaze that seemed to worm through whoever it was directed at. His eyes were burning with determination, readiness from whatever I asked him to do just so I would forgive him.

 

“Nothing.”

 

His face fell and a defeated sigh left his lips. “Guess your decision hasn’t changed, huh?”

 

“I wouldn’t forgive you,” I stated, watching as he gazed at me with a crestfallen look. “I don’t think I could forget everything you did and move on.”

 

“I know that. It’s just. . . I want to be friends with you again. I miss you—“

 

“But I could give you a chance.”

 

Eren looked like his mind stopped functioning and spent a minute doing nothing but stare with a dumbfounded look on his face. Next thing I knew there was a blurry of movement and he was tossing himself to me, throwing his arms around me with a string of “thank you” coming out of his lips like a mantra.

 

Eren leaned away, providing some space between us. He wiped the tears that spilled from his eyes. “I’m---gods, I’m so fucking happy. This is the best thing that happened to me for years.”

 

I harrumphed, crossing my arms over my chest. “Just make sure that you won’t fuck this up or you’ll be erased from my life for eternity.”

 

And then he smiled at me, the brightest and most genuine one that I have seen from him since we met again. The smile that I thought he once lost.

 

“I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates after this will come a little bit longer. I'm not really sure how long, but I have been busy working in our family's small business (I'm a cook) so I wouldn't be able to face my laptop as much as I used to. I could write a few paragraphs or so when I'm not busy, but I'm just giving you guys a heads up.
> 
> Please bear with me! Thank you for reading <3
> 
> P. S. If you want, you can follow me on Tumblr. You can find me on istygianempress --(so original, I know). :)


	19. Act XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is shorter than usual (it was only 100 words short from 4,000 so I guess it's okay?).
> 
> Enjoy :)

The fever I caught knocked me off to sleep the whole night. The layers of clothing I wore, along with the thick blanket draped over me helped fend off the shivering raking thro, but only for a little. My nose was clogged up with the viscous material that I hated, forcing me to breathe through my mouth. I fucking hated fever.

 

I couldn’t even remember the last time I had one. Now that I was able to mull over my actions and experienced being sick again, I couldn’t help but reprimand myself. What the hell was I thinking letting myself get soaked in the rain like that? What the hell would Erwin say to me once he discovered my sick ass? I could say that it wouldn’t be fucking good.

 

When I woke up earlier that day, the first thing that I heard was Eren talking furiously with someone in his phone. He was keeping his voice low and I was still feeling dizzy so I couldn’t hear everything he said properly. That didn’t stop me from finding out that whatever it was they were talking about was shitty, judging from the look on Eren’s face.

 

His lips were pursed in a tight line, turquoise eyes burning in dismay. His eyebrows almost met in a straight line as he breathed heavily, trying to keep his temper. “Could you fucking stop bothering me with this, _Dad_?” The way he said ‘dad’ was laced with sarcasm. I didn’t know what was going on in between them, but back then, he never spoke to Grisha in this manner. “If you forgot, I have work to focus on here.”

 

He stayed silent for a few seconds, letting the other person talk. The way he ran his hand through through his hair, harshly tugging on the brown locks in frustration, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll be bald prematurely.“Oh wow, you’re trying to pull that on me? Aren’t you the one who caused it? Then fucking man up and face it! And no, why would I give you respect? You didn’t respect me before, so why would you expect me to give it to you?”

 

This time he didn’t let his father talk, cutting him off before he even got the chance to speak. “Fuck off, Dad. I’m not in the mood for your shit. Don’t fucking ruin this trip for me. Stop calling and disturbing me.” Then he ended the call. Eren stared at the phone resting on his hand, glaring at the object sharply as if he’s trying to make it disappear from his gaze alone—which wouldn’t be impossible, judging by how intense his intent stare was. His hand turned white from gripping the gadget too harshly.

 

A bubble of worry quelled up inside me. We just started being okay yesterday, but it obvious that he has been bothered by this for weeks, even before we got here in Sina. It comforted me to know that I was lessen his worries by giving him a chance.

 

“Oi, ‘Ren.” My voice came out weak and barely audible, cracking from the dryness of my throat. My throat felt like it was made of sand paper. “You’re going to crush that phone of yours. Calm down.”

 

Eren turned his head to look at me, too fast that I thought he’s going to get whiplashed. He placed his phone on his bed before moving to get to the left corner of his bed, closer to me. The anger that was etched on his features has dissipated, now replaced with a look full of worry.

 

“Levi, I didn’t know you’re awake. Sorry if I woke you up.”

 

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t wake me up.”

 

Eren stood up. “Do you need anything? Water? Tea?”

 

I tried to sit up, but it was hard with how much strength the fever sapped from my body. Noticing my struggle Eren stood beside my bed, helping me to sit up before leaning on the headboard.

 

“Thanks. And I’ll take you up on your offer. Water and tea sounded good.”

 

Eren was able to get a cup of water for myself, but we had to wait longer for the tea that he asked from Hange. He also asked if they could get me some porridge, something that I appreciated.

 

“How’re you feeling?”

 

“Like shit,” I answered without even letting a beat pass. I handed the glass of water back to him, not trusting myself not to spill it. My response earned me a chuckle from Eren, along with a shake of his head.

 

“That’s expected. You hardly get sick but when you do, you might as well be bed-ridden.”

 

What he said was true. Throughout the years we spent together, I could remember getting myself sick for a few times, but all of it was consisted of me lying on my bed, unable to do anything. It was the worst, which was why I hated being sick. I scolded myself for the umpteenth time since last night.

 

I shrugged. “You’re going to fucking spend your free time with this bed-ridden man, then.”

 

He smiled at that, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I don’t really mind.”

 

“It’s not like you got any fucking choice.”

 

“You’re right about that, which was why I didn’t mind.”

 

“You’re an asshole,” I scoffed, but it lacked any venom.

 

He didn’t respond but had the balls to wink at me, causing me to roll my eyes.

 

Eren walked around, pausing in his steps to stretch his body. I watched as he once again opened the mini fridge in the corner, taking a small plate filled with cut apples. He took it to my bedside table, placing it on top of the black wood before looking at me.

 

“Eat up. You didn’t eat anything last night.”

 

I didn’t know where he got it, but I just thanked him silently and helped myself. The apple was still crisp and tasted sweet on my taste buds. Noticing that he wasn’t eating, I poke him with my free hand. When I got his attention, I looked at the apple, then shifting my eyes back to him.

 

Understanding what I wanted, Eren took a slice and we started eating in silence. It was comfortable. I would’ve enjoyed it not for the fever that was making me dizzy and cold yet hot at the same time.

 

By the time we finished the apples, a knock came from the door. Eren was the one who opened it—my sick ass wasn’t capable of walking for more than three steps without falling on my ass—revealing Hange who has the cup of tea and porridge on their hands. Eren stepped aside to let them in, Hange making their way straight to me.

 

“What were you thinking, Levi? You just went to visit your mother and now you’re sick!”

 

_I wasn’t thinking. That’s why I’m sick in the first fucking place._ I didn’t tell them that, of course. I chose to stay silent as they sat on my bed, giving me a warm cup of tea. Eren went to sit on his bed after he closed the door, my mind drifting away as they talked to each other. I’m not in the mood nor had the energy to engage in a conversation.

 

Eren went for a shower while I ate the porridge, feeling myself regain what little strength I could from having my stomach filled. I wasn’t able to finish all of it, but I ate more than half, which was enough for the two of them. It didn’t take long for Eren to dress himself, ready for a day at work and I couldn’t help but just look at him glumly.

 

Noticing my mood Eren moved to stand beside me, placing his hand on my head to run his fingers through my black locks. “It’s okay, Levi. We’ll just take the scenes where you’re not in. Just rest for today so you could work again tomorrow.”

 

Knowing that I wouldn’t respond, he excused himself before he went out. I watched as the door closed, feeling Hange’s gaze on me forcing me to look at them. They had that knowing look on their eyes, urging me to start talking. Which I did.

 

“I told him last night that I’ll give him a chance.”

 

Hange nodded, seemingly satisfied. “He looked brighter today than before, which is really good. Eren also told me what happened yesterday so I would spare you, telling me to make you rest. I guess you wouldn’t know since your mind practically flew to space while we were talking.”

 

“Whatever, Glasses. You’re making me dizzy.”

 

Hange let out a sound that left my ears ringing. For them it was a laugh, but I doubt that it could be considered as such by anyone except Shitty Glasses.

 

I took a warm shower after requesting Hange to help me to the bathroom. It was short but I made sure to scrub every part of me clean. When I was dressed Hange helped me to my bed again, my eyes drooping as soon as my head hit the pillows.

 

“You’re like a baby when you’re sick, Levi. You’re so cute.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

Sleep took over me once they allowed me to rest. I didn’t feel any better when I woke up hours after. Eren left a note on the nightstand, along with another bowl of porridge, water and medicine.

 

_‘Eat this once you wake up, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I’m free. -Eren”_

 

I didn’t feel hungry, but I knew better than skip my meal when I am sick so I forced myself to eat. Just like earlier I wasn’t able to finish it. I went to the bathroom after I drank the medicine to brush my teeth, using the wall as a support, my vision blurry. The dizziness was still there, but it wasn’t as bad as earlier.

 

When I was back on my bed, I laid there doing nothing but stare up the ceiling. Thoughts just came and went out of my mind, nothing interesting enough to ponder on. To cut it short, I was bored.

 

I played some music from my phone, filling the otherwise empty room with beats. Most of the songs that were playing were not familiar to me. If it was unfamiliar, it was Isabel who downloaded those songs. A song stopped playing in the middle and my ringtone came after, my hand picking up the black rectangular object, seeing Farlan’s name, along with a picture of him slightly smiling flashing on the screen.

 

With a swift tap the call was accepted and I pressed the phone next to my ear.

 

_“Hey there, Levi.”_ Farlan’s voice filtered in through the speakers, sounding a little breathy. _“How’re you doing?”_

 

“I’m sick.” My voice sounded raspy. It barely sounded like it was mine. “I have a fever.”

 

Farlan’s worried voice came like as a wave of questions and reminders. _“What? Why? Are you resting? You shouldn’t skip your meal and drink medicine, okay?”_

I chuckled. He sounded like a worried mother. “Okay. Don’t worry too much. I’m getting as much rest as I could.”

 

“Did you skip work today?” I could hear some shuffling on his side, but I didn’t know what caused it. I just ignored it.

 

“Yeah. I wasn’t in a good condition to work. Eren told me that they will be working with scenes where I wouldn’t be needed.”

 

Reaching out to my nightstand, I closed my fingers around the glass of water before lifting it to my lips. Waiting for Farlan to speak I drank a few gulps, stopping midway when I heard his response.

 

_“Eren? You were talking with Eren?”_

 

Well shit. I forgot that I hadn’t told him that I was rooming with him and as far as he knew I avoided him. Now that I practically told him that I started talking to him again, I couldn’t dance around the fact that I would have to tell Farlan that Eren and I were starting to make up as friends again. It didn’t cross my mind, thoughts too hazy because of my fever, but now that the idea was here, I could tell that it was something that I wasn’t looking forward to. I knew that Farlan was understanding and decent, but he knew about our past. It was also the reason why I evaded his advances before. I didn’t know how he would react.

 

“Yes. And. . .I am also sharing a room with him.”

 

I might as well drop a fucking bomb with what I said. Farlan stayed silent, making my mind work into overdrive. What was he thinking? Was he mad at me for not telling him sooner? Would he think that I was using this work trip to get back with Eren and forget him? Because no. I was serious when I said that I would like to try for us to work. Farlan deserved that more than anyone in the fucking world. He has been so patient and understanding, so selfless. It would be cruel of me to leave him hanging.

 

“…Farlan?”

 

_“I’m still here, Levi. I was just surprised. You didn’t tell me that you were in the same room as him before.”_ There was something in his voice that I couldn’t put a name on. Though it was still unknown, it made me feel guilty.

 

I shook my head even with the knowledge that he wouldn’t see the action. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

 

_“No, it was fine.”_ Farlan’s voice went back to normal, but the guilt that budded in my chest didn’t leave. _“Don’t worry about it.”_

 

“But—“

 

_“Hush. I told you it’s fine. Don’t stress yourself thinking about it. I trust you, Levi. I trust you with all that I am. I know that I don’t have anything to worry about when it’s you.”_

Farlan didn’t let it out as a question, but I knew that he was seeking for some sort of reassurance. Reassurance that the trust he placed on me would be protected and treasured, would be given importance. He was not only putting his trust in me on the line, but it was together with his heart.

 

The thought didn’t scare me. Instead it made my resolution stronger. If he could do that, if he could give me his all, then I better do the same thing for him too.

 

“Yes. I promise.”

 

I could practically see the smile stretching his lips. _“Thank you, Levi.”_

 

Farlan was an honest man. He has honest intentions, honest emotions. If I wanted everything to work between us, then I should be more honest to him too.

 

“About Eren, I also gave him a chance last night. To be friends again.”

 

_“Really? That’s good.”_ Out of all the responses that could’ve came, that one was something that I least expected. _“It would be better that way. You two could start again. Especially you. I know how much it has been haunting you.”_

I expected him to be a little bit mad, expected him to tell me to stay away from Eren. After all, that’s what other people would say. They wouldn’t be comfortable knowing that the person they were dating was befriending their ex, but Farlan surprised me once again.

 

“Are you serious? You’re okay with it?”

 

Farlan chuckled. _“Yes. Why wouldn’t I? I told you that I trust you, didn’t I?”_

“Yes. Yes, you did. I just. . . Ah fuck, whatever. Thank you, Farlan.”

 

_“It’s nothing. I should go back to work. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”_

“Yeah.”

 

_“Okay. Go on and rest. Good bye.”_

When the call ended, I locked my phone and placed it back on the nightstand. Now that it was okay with Farlan, there was nothing holding me back from befriending Eren. It was nice to think of. Nice enough to allow a little smile on my lips.

 

It felt like everything was falling into place.

 

* * *

  


 

“Oh, you’re finally awake.” It was the first thing Eren said to me when I woke up. He was setting up the television, hair still wet from his shower. “Are you feeling better now?”

 

The dizziness that I was experiencing since last night was now gone. I didn’t feel cold, the heat inside my body considerably gone now. My muscles didn’t ache as much.

 

“Yeah. I think I could finally work tomorrow.” I sat up, finding another glass of water on my nightstand. Silently thanking Eren, I drank all of it before standing up to take a piss. I was careful on my steps so I wouldn’t fall. When I was finished I washed my hands before returning to the bedroom.

 

My eyes landed on Eren, who was sitting on my bed with a large box of pizza on his lap. He patted the space beside him, causing one of my eyebrows to shoot up questioningly.

 

“Come on, we’re going to watch some movies,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I even bought us pizza.”

 

“You’re gonna catch my fever if you sit beside me,” I scolded him. Still, I found myself making my way towards the other side of the bed.

 

“It’s fine. You know better than that.”

 

He was right about that. Even if he spend the whole day coddled up beside me, he wouldn’t catch even a simple cold. I didn’t know why. It was like his immune system was a freak of nature.

 

Rolling my eyes, I obliged with his request. We were sitting shoulder to shoulder, the box of pizza resting on top of our legs as the movie played. I wasn’t really paying any attention to it—I really didn’t like watching movies like a normal person—so I focused on the presence beside me and the comforting, familiar warmth emanating from his body.

 

This was one thing that I missed doing. We used to do this every week when we were younger, having sleep over in each other’s house. Eren’s presence has always comforted me, the familiarity of it bringing a sense of safety, a thought of being home. That’s what he has been for me years ago. Now that we were becoming friends, I would like to experience the home residing in him. We didn’t have to be lovers for him to provide it to me.

 

I rested my head on his shoulder, lazily chewing the bite of pizza I had in my mouth. Halfway through the movie I focused my attention to it, the scenes not making that much sense, but I still watched.

 

Eren’s head found itself on top of mine. We were already done eating half of the pizza when the movie reached its end. Eren handed me my glass of water as he drank his beer, making me embarrassed as I remembered that I drank all of his beer before.

 

“I should pay you back from all of the beer I drank.”

 

Eren leaned away from me, turning to meet my eyes. “That’s nothing.”

 

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You were drinking too much. Do you want to poison your kidney?”

 

His eyes unglued with mine to look at the can in his hand. “Well, I don’t.”

 

“Then stop drinking too much.”

 

Eren nodded, finishing what was left in the can before throwing it to the trash. “I wouldn’t drink for the next few days then.” Placing the box on top of my lap, he stood up then stretched. “Hey, Levi. Do you think you could go to the beach?”

 

I frowned at him suspiciously. “I’m feeling much better so I guess I could. Why?”

 

“Let’s go to the beach.”

 

What he said wasn’t a request. It was more of a command. I let out a sigh before I picked up the box from my lap and swung my feet to the side of the bed, leaving the box on top of Eren’s bed before I went to dress myself with warmer clothing. Once we were done we left the room, Eren carrying the box of pizza with a piece of large cloth. It looked the same as the one Hange and I used before.

 

We stopped by a shop to buy two bottled waters and some candies, hailing a cab so we wouldn’t have to walk to the beach. Both of us were silent the whole time, no one finding the need to break the comfortable silence. As soon as we reached the place Eren set down the cloth on the sand, placing the box and bottles on top of it.

 

Eren looked down at me as I sat down. “I’m going to walk in the water for a bit. You want to go?”

 

I shook my head. “No. I’ll stay here.”

 

Eren draped his jacket over my shoulder, slipping out of his slippers before he ambled to the water barefooted. There were only a few lamp posts providing light in the place, but the brightness of the moon and stars hanging on the black canvass above us made it easy for us to see. He looked relaxed as he treaded the water, like there was no other place he’d rather be at than here. He looked at peace.

 

When he went back to where I was, we started eating what was left of our pizza. We were once again silent, but it didn’t bother us. Eren laid down on the cloth, his hands resting behind his head.

 

Eren was the one to break the silence. “I was so glad that you gave me a chance.” He kept his eyes fixed on the vast black sky above us. “I never thought that we could actually be together like this again, but I was proven wrong.” Turning his head to the side, he looked at me with a small smile on his face. “You’ve always proven me wrong, even when we were younger.”

 

“I. . .” I started, but seeing his turquoise eyes intently gazing at me as if I would disappear any minute made it harder. It made me squirm on my spot, earning myself a chuckle. I shot him a harsh glare, cutting him off. I sighed. “I also thought that we wouldn’t be able to do the things we did before, but I am actually fucking glad that I was wrong. I missed us hanging around, I missed having you around. I missed your presence, no matter how fucking annoying you could be. I just. . . You knew me better than anyone else and I am the same to you. You were a big part of it, so having you out of my life is impossible, I guess.”

 

Eren sat up, inching his way closer to me before encasing me in a hug. It left me frozen for a minute before I was able to hug him back. “Thank you, Levi. Life has been really shitty since you left, but now that you’re back, it became more bearable. I don’t want you gone from my life again.”

 

I started rubbing circles on his back. “The past taught us some lessons and it made us stronger than we were before. None of us know what’s going to happen, but I’ll do my best to stick around this time. I couldn’t promise you anything, but I will try.”

 

“Thank you, Lee.” And with a breath, his arms went tighter around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! Your feedback is my everything <3


	20. Act XX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mostly talked about their work. Actually, the movie that they were working on was the story I've been planning to write before A Broken Act, but this story took advantage of my needs of actors AU.
> 
> Enjoy :)

The following days went on smoother and more pleasant than what I had expected. Before the thought of actually enjoying this trip was thrown out of the fucking window when I found out that Eren would be sharing the room with me, but that even made it possible for us to make up. We may not be entirely okay—there were so many gaps to fill and rips to sew between us—but we could stay in the same room without feeling any animosity or being uncomfortable.

 

Our friendship wasn’t exactly the same as it used to before. Eren has always been a tactile person. I always found him touching me in the most innocent and platonic ways, way back before we became lovers. However, I found him still walking on eggshells now, careful and wary not to make me uncomfortable, afraid that I would bolt away. It made me feel relieved, since I was unsure of what my reaction would be, not after keeping myself away from him for years.

 

One of the most noticeable things that changed between us since we decided to mend our friendship was the amount of time we have been spending with each other. He always made sure to eat every meal with me, hang around with me whenever both of us weren’t needed in the set. Every night we would watch some movie that we ended up not paying attention to, busy with talking or making snarky remarks about the film. In short, wherever I am, Eren would surely be there if he can.

 

At first I thought it would get to my nerves—I am being followed around by another person other than Hange after all—but it didn’t. He didn’t have Hange’s annoying antics which was a relief, so being around him didn’t bring me constant headache. We tend to stay quiet, occasionally talk about the things that caught our interest, but silence reigned over us otherwise.

 

Of course, in the small amount of time that we had been spending together, I noticed the changes in his personality. The bubbly, energetic, always-shitting-rainbows Eren was gone, replaced by a more composed and serious one. His talkative side was replaced by someone who relished in silence. The smile that always adorned his face before could rarely be seen now. It was there every now and then, but it was scarce.

 

Not only his personality has changed, but his physique changed a lot too. He was much taller than me, reaching past six feet. He worked with the idea of growing out his hair from when we were teens, his hair now reaching his shoulders, but he kept it in a loose ponytail almost all the time. His body filled out well, based on the touches that I sent his way whenever we had a scene.

 

I didn’t want to sound bitter or what, considering that my body was as good as his, but why wasn’t I given a little more fucking height? I got stuck in goddamn five foot three with no chances of growing, while Yeager here went past six. If that didn’t give me enough right to be fucking salty, then I didn’t know what would.

 

Being friends with Eren meant that I also had to spent some time with his others friends, namely Jean and Mikasa. I wasn’t really social so I didn’t go out of my way to talk others unless needed be. When Eren insisted that I should go talk with Jean and Mikasa, I went along. I had nothing to lose.

 

Mikasa and Jean met Eren after I left. They all met in college and had been good friends since then. I noticed that Jean and Eren bickered a lot, but none of it sounded serious enough to start a fight between them. Mikasa informed me that it was a common occurrence so I let it slip. Mikasa and Jean started dating a few days ago and no one beside us knew about it. That’s high quality news to be gossiped about, but I didn’t really give a damn.

 

Farlan and I has been talking a lot, whether through calls or messaging. He was really sweet and caring that it didn’t make me regret giving him his well-deserved chance. I had to admit that I liked the attention he was giving me. I started to look forward to the date he had planned for us when I got back. At times I thought I didn’t deserve what he was giving me after denying him for years, but I always put it in the back of my mind.

 

I am currently eating lunch with Eren in a small restaurant a few blocks away from the hotel. It wasn’t a big establishment but the service and food were excellent. We stumbled upon the place the night we went to the beach, searching for a place to eat. It was one of the unexpected discoveries that we didn’t regret.

 

“What do you think about the scene that we have to shoot tomorrow?” Eren asked after swallowing the food he has in his mouth. Beside the two of us, there was only a few amount of people eating in the place, the soothing sounds of instruments the only noticeable noise.

 

Swallowing my food, I took a sip of water before I replied, “It was good. The scene is the turning point of the story, so I am a little anxious about it. I just hope that I wouldn’t fuck up.”

 

Eren smiled at me, a miniscule one, but it was there. “You’ll do fine. I know it.”

 

I raised an eyebrow at him. “You sounded confident.”

 

Eren shook his head, shrugging. “We grew up together. I worked with you for years before. If there’s anyone who knew you best, it would be me. I know that you’ll do great.”

 

“Is that a compliment I heard, Eren?”

 

He nodded. “It is.”

 

Rolling my eyes at him, I started eating my food again, ignoring the warmth caused by what he said. We settled eating in silence again, silence that was immediately broken when Hange came barreling inside the place.

 

“Levi! Eren!”

 

Both of our heads shot up to look at Hange, who’s wearing a shit-eating grin on their face. I had to restrain myself from throwing my fork at them. Instead I settled at throwing the deadliest glare I could muster.

 

We watched as Hange wove through the tables, reaching us seconds later. They pulled out a chair adjacent to both of us before settling in.

 

“Hange,” I gritted out. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

Seemingly unaffected by my hostility, they cocked their head to the side, looking at me innocently. “I went here to see the two of you.”

 

“Couldn’t you at least not shout out our fucking name in public, shit-for brains? You’re—“

 

“Levi,” Eren cut me off. “It’s fine.” He turned to look at Hange. “Do you need something?”

 

Hange stuck out their tongue at me before looking at Eren. “Actually, no. I just want to see Shorty.”

 

I let out a growl. “Stop it with the fucking name-calling, Shitty Glasses.”

 

“But you call me Shitty Glasses! That’s also name-calling!”

 

“Can’t you fucking tone down your voice? And it’s not name-calling when it’s fucking true.”

 

Hange narrowed their eyes at me but it didn’t take long. Another shit-eating grin took over their lips. “Well it’s true that you’re short, so it’s not name-calling!”

 

I was ready to commit murder then and there. However Eren cut in before I was able to shed Hange’s blood and stain the white tiled floor.

 

“Okay, guys. Calm down. Hange, let us finish our meal first and then we’ll go.”

 

I really wanted to strangle Hange, but Eren’s tone left no room for arguments. With a sigh I ate what’s remaining on my plate, but the food didn’t taste as good as before. Great. Hange just ruined my appetite.

 

True to his words, we all left the diner after we finished eating. We headed straight to the hotel, deciding that it would be best to get ready for the scene that we will have to shoot later. Hange stayed in our room, laying down on my bed as Eren and I read through our script.

 

Half an hour later, a knock resounded from the door, Marco peeking in seconds after. He smiled at us before he let himself in.

 

“Eren, Levi, you’ll be working in thirty minutes.”

 

“Okay, we’ll get ready then,” Eren replied, standing up from his bed. I did the same and Marco went out, leaving the three of us. As Eren and I prepared to leave, a ringtone that started to become familiar to me rang. I heard Eren let out a curse under his breath, retrieving his phone on the nightstand with a frown on his face.

 

The look on his face went darker when he saw who was calling him. When he tapped the screen, I thought that he would answer it. He didn’t. He rejected the call, tapping on his phone a few more times before he placed his phone back on his nightstand. I stayed put by the door, waiting for him. He made his way to me and I looked at Hange before we left.

 

“We’ll be leaving for the shoot. Don’t wreck anything while we’re out,” I warned them.

 

Hange pouted. “I’m not a kid, you know.”

 

Narrowing my eyes at them, I spoke. “I doubt that.”

 

We left after that. Eren and I were silent as we walked through the hallway, making our way to where Christa and Mina would be waiting for us. There was something heavy in the air, something that was brought by Eren’s mood.

 

I couldn’t help but wonder who called him. It was probably his father, Grisha, if I were to judge the current state Eren was in. I didn’t know what was up with them, but I knew that there was a problem. Though Eren and his father didn’t get along that much before with Grisha being out most of the times, they were still civil. But now they seemed to always be fighting over something.

 

I knew that I’m not in the right position to ask anything, but the question was out before I could stop myself.

 

“Was it your dad?”

 

Eren stiffened beside me, body going rigid at the question. He stayed silent for a while and I thought that he wasn’t going to answer. After taking a deep breath, probably to calm himself, he spoke. “Yes.”

 

At least he replied. Trying to push my luck, I continued. “What’s up with you two? I know that you weren’t on good terms with him, but I never saw you fight before.”

 

He clenched and unclenched his fists, taking a moment before he talked again. “I’m sorry Levi, but I couldn’t answer that. Maybe someday, but not now.”

 

Knowing that he wouldn’t spill out anything, I nodded. I respected his privacy.

 

Minutes later, we were in the set. It was the room where Eren’s character was staying in. When we saw Christa and Mina standing in front of the door next to the set, we approached them, the two ushering us inside to start they work.

 

Once we’re dressed and prepared, we went to the next room. Erwin was already there, checking the cameras and lighting, making sure that everything was working and set properly before we started. Jean was there as well. We greeted them when we’re close to them and they greeted back before Erwin told us to get ready.

 

Once the preparations were done, we started. The cameras focused on us. Eren was sitting on the couch, a laptop resting on his lap. He was reading something, a frown on his features. I was sitting at the other side of the couch, watching him silently. I opened my mouth to speak but a knock  interrupted me, just like what was written in the script.

 

Standing up, I ambled to the door, opening it to see Jean. I stepped aside to let him in, casually walking inside the room towards Eren. I closed the door before I followed them, this time sitting on the corner of the bed.

 

“What is it that you need?” Eren asked, eyes still glued on the screen.

 

Jean hesitated, opting to stay silent for a few seconds before he decided to spill the news. “Amethyst . . .”

 

Eren went stiff, eyes peeling away from the screen to look at Jean. His expression was unreadable.

 

“Didn’t I tell you that I don’t want you to mention her?” Eren’s face still held no emotion, but his voice has repressed anger in it.

 

Watching Eren act was something that I liked to do. It just seemed so natural to him, like he wasn’t even acting. His expression, his action, the way he deliver his lines, it were all so fluid.

 

“Hunter, I knew that. But you have to hear me out.”

 

“Why should I? She’s dead, Luke. If I hear you say another thing about her death, I’ll fire you.”

 

In the movie, Amethyst was Hunter’s fiancée. They knew each other since they were young. Everything was going well for them, but then Amethyst died. Hunter was devastated.

 

Eren put the laptop on the coffee table in front of him before he stood up. He walked past Jean and straight to the balcony, but when he was already by the door, Jean stopped him.

 

“Amethyst. . . She—she isn’t dead.”

 

“Shut up!” Eren’s voice thundered inside the room. His face was twisted in anger, bright eyes full of pain. I stared at him with wide eyes, but my action wasn’t an act. I was genuinely surprised to see him like that. “Stop with that nonsense, Luke. She’s dead. It has been that way for years.”

 

Jean took a step forward. “I’m telling you the truth, Hunter!”

 

Eren shook his head in disbelief. “Why are you doing this? To get some reaction out of me? What kind of twisted game is this?”

 

“I would never do that! I’m telling you the truth. She isn’t dead, Hunter. Amethyst is still alive.”

 

Eren’s stone cold stare settled on Jean. He looked tired, exasperated. “Get out. I don’t want to hear more of your nonsense.” He set his eyes on me. “You too. I need to be alone.”

 

I stood up. “But—“

 

“Go.”

Shooting him another glance full of concern, I followed Jean out of the room. There were cameras still filming us. Jean let out a deep sigh as soon as we’re out, leaning his back on the wall.

 

I stayed close to him, looking at the floor in contemplation.

 

“I guess you’re wondering who Amethyst is.” Looking up from the floor, I met his eyes. “Amethyst was Hunter’s fiancée. They were supposed to get married, but she died. I didn’t know how, since her family didn’t say what caused her death, but it left Hunter devastated.”

 

“But is it true?” I questioned, sounding unsure. “Is it true that she’s still alive?”

 

“I’m not totally sure, but someone told me that they saw her in another city. They were a trusted source of information, so I decided to tell Hunter. Look at where it left me.” Jean let out another sigh, pushing himself off the wall. “I need to go. I’ll see you around.”

 

Nodding, I bid him goodbye. I watched his retreating form until he was gone. With a sigh, the scene ended.

 

After making sure that everything in the scene was perfect, we were done. Erwin told us that we were free for the rest of the day, something that Eren and I used for rest. Eren still looked troubled in the following hours. After a short call from Farlan in the evening, I slumbered.

 

* * *

 

 

We were up again and working the next day. Eren and I practiced waltzing, something that was needed for the party scene later. We were taught by a hired choreographer before, so we just had to polish and make sure that we would remember it. When it was starting to get dark, both Eren and I got ready, taking a shower individually before we went to Mina and Christa.

 

“Eren, this bag under your eyes is getting worse. Are you getting enough sleep?” I heard Mina asked Eren.

 

“Yes, don’t worry about it.”

 

“You’re lucky that this is something a little makeup could cover.”

 

When they were done, we dressed in the tuxedos that we were required to wear. I was wearing a black coat with a red button up shirt, while Eren was wearing the same black coat but with a forest green shirt. Our cue came just in time after we got dressed and soon we were standing in the function room of the hotel.

 

There were other people scattered around the place, which was expected. The setting of the scene that we’re going to shoot is a formal party. Those who are milling around the place were also dressed up.

 

“Are you nervous?”

 

I turned my head to look at Eren who’s standing beside me. His hair was pulled up in a ponytail, his face framed by his bangs. He looked good.

 

“A little. You?”

 

He nodded. “A little. But I know that we’ll do well.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

We turned back our attention to the place. Waiting wasn’t that long. When we were called and told to get ready, we went to our position. Eren and I were sitting in a round table beside each other, while Jean was sitting in a seat opposite to us. Soft classical music started filling in the air, and the chatter of the crowd also started. When the cameras rolled, everything was already prepared.

 

Knowing that we’re already starting, I looked around the place, acting as if I was amazed. It wasn’t that hard, since they really did a good job decorating the place. A warm glow came from the lights hanging above us. Tables surrounded the free space that was designated to be the dance floor. Everything looked fancy.

 

“What do you think?” Eren asked me silently. I stopped admiring the place to meet his eyes and I let a small smile show.

 

“It’s nice. Everything looked fancy.”

 

The scene went on. Eren left me to talk to others, something that he was supposed to do. I looked around again, the cameras following my every move. My eyes settled on a black-haired woman a few tables away from us. She was wearing a black dress, hair pulled up in a bun and decorated with gems. She was wearing light make up, lips painted in red. Mikasa looked gorgeous.

 

Eren came back, pulling my attention from Mikasa. People started filling out the vacant space in the middle as the music turned up a little louder. Eren laid a hand out, a smile on his lips when he asked me, “Would you like to dance?”

 

“Uh, yes.” I took his offered hand. Both of us went to the dance floor, stopping at the part they directed. Eren rested his hand on my waist as the other held my hand. As soon as I had my other hand on his shoulder, we started moving.

 

I knew that this was an act, but I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding. Eren was staring at me with his intense turquoise eyes and it reminded me of the times when he would stare at me as if I was his world. In a way, I was, just like how he was to me. It wasn’t really uncomfortable, the familiarity of his gaze burning, seeking, seeing past through me.

 

“Did I tell you that you look gorgeous tonight?” he whispered, breath brushing my ear. His gaze distracted me and I had to pull myself together to speak out my line.

 

“Y-you also looked good.”

 

He chuckled. Leaning my head on his chest, I listened to his heart, beating a mile a minute. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one who’s nervous.

 

Eren guided us along with the music with practiced ease. It went on like that before we abruptly stopped. Ah, I knew what would happen next.

 

“Hunter?” Leaning away from him, I stepped back to look at his shocked face. He was staring at something behind me, but I knew that he was staring at Mikasa. Hunter’s fiancée, Amethyst.

 

Turning on my heel, I saw her. She was looking at Eren with longing. Both of them wasn’t moving and I was the only one who looked at them one at a time.

 

“Amethyst. . .” Eren said, breathless.

 

Eren started walking towards her. Mikasa already has tears running down her face as she walked forward to meet him. It looked so real that I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them.

 

“You’re alive. . .” he said in disbelief. Mikasa wasn’t saying anything. They just embraced each other tightly and I was forced to watch then. Fuck, this must’ve hurt my character deeply. He loves Hunter, so watching him reunite with his fiancée that he thought was dead must’ve been killing him.

When they broke the hug, Mikasa was smiling at him. “Hunter, I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too. Where have you been? What happened to you?”

 

Mikasa laughed, touching Eren’s face. “Can I talk to you privately?”

 

“Yes, let me just tell him.” Mikasa looked at me before she nodded.

 

Eren went back to where I was standing. He looked at me, but he looked anxious to talk with her.

 

“I have to talk to her. I don’t know how long it would take so just leave whenever you want.”

 

“But—“

 

He looked at me pleadingly. “You have to understand me. This is important.” Looking down at the floor, I nodded. “Thank you.”

 

Without another glance, he went back to Mikasa and they started walking away.

 

“Cut!” It ended. After the usual routine, we were done. I could feel the ache in my muscle as I headed to the room that served as our dressing room. All I want to do is to eat, take shower, and rest. It has been a tiring day for all of us.

 

I was laying on my bed texting with Farlan when Eren came. Judging on the slump of his shoulders and the exasperated look on his face, he just finished arguing with someone. You didn’t have to be a genius to know that he just finished talking to Grisha. He took a shower as soon as he got inside, flopping down on his bed when he’s finished.

“Good night, Lee.” Seconds after that, he was already asleep. He must’ve been very tired.

 

Standing up from my bed, I went to the side of his bed, carefully taking the blanket before I spread it out over his form. I crouched to take a look of his sleeping face, a small smile on my lips.

 

“Sweet dreams, Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am tired and I am done. But I want to get this finished, so I pushed through!
> 
> Please tell me what you think of it <3


	21. Act XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't want you to run away..."
> 
> A sword stabbed itself in my chest and I didn't try to stop the bleeding. The pain traveled to every fiber of my being.
> 
> "I won't run away, Eren. Not when you're like this. Not when you need someone."
> 
> "But you already did before."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking too long to update! RL is a bitch.
> 
> Anyway, writing this chapter was a wild ride. You know that thing where they say that stories have its own mind? Yeah, that's true. I didn't expect this chapter to turn out like this. The good thing is: THE TRUTH HAS BEEN REVEALED.
> 
> Enjoy :)

"Eren, is something bothering you? This is our fourth take of the same scene. You seemed distracted," the director's baritone filled the otherwise silent room. Erwin's eyes were looking at Eren with worry, akin to the look in the others' eyes. We were all worried about him.

The following days didn't start off very well for Eren. Each day seemed to wear him down a little more, the bags under his eyes and slump of his shoulder more prominent. Every time he received a call, it was either he's gonna reject it or silence his phone so he could ignore it. If he chose to answer it, the fire in his voice was gone, replaced by a dead and defeated tone that plants another seed of worry in my chest.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry. I was a little distracted. I'll focus now," Eren said, trying to gain control over himself. He looked at Erwin pleadingly.

Erwin sighed and shook his head. He wasn't taking any of it. "No, Eren. You said the same thing earlier. I think it would be better if you'll take the day off and clear your mind."

Eren bristled, his protest ready on his tongue before Erwin cut him off. "Don't attempt to change my mind, young man. You need a breather. Besides, you wouldn't be much help in your distracted condition. You would only drag the shooting longer."

Eren snapped his mouth shut, eyes lowering to the floor. The fight in him gone. Instead he nodded, silently excusing himself from us before turning on his heel to leave. My eyes lingered on his retreating form until he turned at a corner, vanishing from my sight.

"Levi," Mikasa softly called me. I broke my gaze from where Eren went and turned to her, seeing worry cloud her eyes. "Do you have any idea about what's happening to him?"

"No," I admitted. "He wasn't telling me anything so I don't know shit about his situation," my eyebrows furrowed, now feeling some sort of confusion, "didn't he tell anything to you or Jean?"

Mikasa shook her head with a heavy sigh. "He didn't, though I wish he did. It's hard for us seeing him like that. Normally he wasn't so...secretive, so I'm really worried about him."

After she spoke, Erwin announced that we'll be taking another scene, one that didn't require Eren.  The crew started preparing, cutting off my conversation with Mikasa.

I placed my hand on her shoulder, lightly squeezing it. "He's going to be fine. If he told me anything, I'll let you know."

Reassured by what I said, she smiled at me. It was small, almost unnoticeable, but it was there. "Thanks, Levi. I'll do the same too."

*****

Right after we finished taping, I headed straight to our room. I was hoping to see Eren there so I could try making him open up, but it was crushed as soon as I opened the door.

It was empty, not a soul present in the room. There were clues that he was here minutes before I arrived; his bed slightly unmade, a little of his warmth still lingering on the sheets, but the person I was looking for wasn't here.

I sat down on my bed, staring at his bed with my eyes drawn into a frown. I didn't have any idea about his whereabouts. When we were younger, whenever he felt troubled, he always leave without any word until he cleared his mind. I guess that was one thing that didn't change.

Maybe I could try to reach him with a call. Drawing my phone from the pocket of my jeans, I went to my contacts and called Eren's number. It rang, once, twice, thrice—then I heard something vibrating. Keeping my phone next to my ear, I searched for the source, only to find Eren's phone inside the drawer of the nightstand.

"Goddammit," I muttered under my breath while ending the call. Of fucking course he would leave his godforsaken phone behind. It was the fucking reason why he has been troubled for more than a week already.

I fell back on my bed with a loud groan. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? There's only so much you could do when the person you're trying to talk to was missing.

So I just laid there on my bed, eyes trained on the ceiling above me. I'll just wait until he comes back. Maybe watch some shows while I'm at it.

Getting up from the bed, I turned the TV on, browsing through the channels before settling on an animal channel. Now I was sitting with my back leaning against the headboard, attention fixed to a polar bear and her cubs as they traveled in the vast iceland.

An hour after, my attention was caught by another set of vibrations. I immediately knew that it was Eren's phone. Crawling a little to the edge of the bed, I reached for the drawer, hand searching for the device until I caught it in my hand.

Positioning myself back on the bed, I checked the caller's name, my eyes widening a bit at the name I saw.

_Grisha._

Of fucking course, it would be him. I watched the phone vibrate in my hand, staring at the device with a blank face. A few more rings and the call ended, only for another one to come after a few seconds.

It went on like that for a couple of minutes. I was contemplating whether to answer the call or not. The call could give me a few details about Eren's situation, but I would be intruding his privacy, something that I was sure he wouldn't appreciate.

When the call ended, a message came soon after. It was from Grisha.

_'Answer the call, Eren.'_

Fuck it. Eren wouldn't be here until later. I was worried about him, all of us did, and if he didn't want to tell me what's bothering him, then would found out about it myself.

So when Grisha called for the umpteenth time, I only let a few rings pass before I accepted the call.

"You finally answered, Eren. I've been calling you for the past few minutes," I heard Grisha's exasperated voice filtering through the speaker. "I'll get to the point now. Mr. Leonhart has been asking me about you and Annie for weeks now, as you know it. You know what you need to do. Stop being a selfish bastard and think about our family for once. The hospital is at stake, Eren. You know what will happen if you don't do anything soon. Stop being childish and act like an adult for once.

"I want you to propose as soon as you get back here. We can't risk making Mr. Leonhart wait any longer. Do you understand me?"

I felt frozen in place, my mind whirling with questions. What was that about? What's happening? Propose? Eren's going to propose to Annie? And what the fuck is he saying about the hospital being at stake?

I took the phone away from my ear, the voices coming from the television nothing but a buzz in my ear. Instead of shedding light on Eren's current situation, the call just brought more riddled questions.

What the fuck was really going on?

*****

The call was all I could think of in the following hours. Hange decided to show up and brought some foods with them, but it only turned cold as I did nothing but stare at it. It obviously irked them how distracted I was, to the point where I didn't reprimand them when they ate while sitting on the bed, but knew better than pointing it out.

Now I knew why Eren has been spacing out and distracted. I only knew a part of it yet I was already rattled, how much more would it be for him? It did nothing to quell but intensify the worry I had.

"Levi, munchkin. What's bothering you? You've been distracted. You didn't even talk my ear off when I ate on top of the bed."

I tore my gaze away from the food I've been trying to vanish with my gaze to look at them. They were looking at me worriedly. Great. All the thing everyone seemed to fucking do these days was to worry.

"I'm fine, Shitty Glasses. Just thinking."

My answer didn't help me get away from their questioning.

"What are you thinking about? Is there something wrong?"

I met their eyes. Yes, there's something wrong. And I have the feeling that it was a big problem. What's frustrating, however, was the fact of how clueless and helpless I am about it.

Breaking our gaze, I shrugged. "Nothing that you should worry about. Hey, Hange, do you want to drink?"

Hange's eyes widened. I'm not that much of a drinker and I was never the one who invites someone to drink. I wasn't surprised to see them reacting this way.

I sighed. "It's fine if you don't want to, Shitty Glasses. I'll just—"

"Are you kidding me?!" Hange screeched. "You never asked me to drink. This is the first time. I'm not an idiot to let this pass!"

Hange scrambled to get off the bed, fixing their clothes before regarding me with a bright look, something that turned serious when they saw the untouched food on my lap.

"You should eat that first. The most important meal is the one you eat before you get wasted."

Rolling my eyes, I started to eat. Anything to make Hange shut their mouth.

*****

"Levi, that's your third glass already!"

Ignoring Hange, I drank the third glass of the hard drink Hange chose for me. I could already feel the effect of the alcohol, warming up my body and slightly making me feel dizzy.

The place was packed. Hundreds of bodies were crowding the dance floor, figures moving along the music under the bright neon lights. The place smelled of alcohol and sweat, something that I would normally found repulsive, but for tonight I ignored it.

"Hange, give me another glass." I could barely hear myself from the blaring music the bar was blasting, but I figured Hange got the gist of it if I were to judge the look on their face.

After telling the bartender manning the bar, they turned on their seat to look at me. "Are you sure that there's nothing wrong?"

I shrugged. "Do I need to have a problem before I get myself drunk?"

"No, but you're not like this normally," Hange voiced out their worry, shaking their head. "Is it bad if I'm worried?"

"You don't have anything to worry about," I assured them. The bartender handed us our drinks and I took a gulp of mine. "Just enjoy yourself."

Reluctantly, Hange let it go. They started talking about random things, their stiff posture and worry slowly dissipating until they were back to their usual self. I endured listening to them talk for more than an hour, which was a great help in distracting myself.

"Sonny and Bean are being so good, Moblit told me. My babies are making me proud. Maybe I'll give them more treats."

"Hange, if you kept on feeding those two mutts, they're gonna be overweight."

Hange pointed their finger at me while narrowing their eyes. "They won't."

I rolled my eyes. "They will if you don't stop feeding them too much."

I didn't have a clue on how many shots I already did. However, based on how the world seemed to spin nonstop, I already drank a lot more than I normally do. I've been trying to focus my vision on the black surface in front of me, but it kept on spinning.

"Hange," I called them, but it came out slurred. "Let's go back."

To my relief, they agreed. We stood up but as soon as I did, I had to grab the stool I sat on to prevent myself from toppling over.

Hange was beside me in an instant. "Shit, Levi. You okay there?" 

I glared at them, ignoring the fact that my red face probably did nothing but make me as intimidating as a soppy kitten. "Do I look okay to you?"

They shool their head, amused. "Fine, fine, you drunk shorty. Come on, I'll support you. Just don't puke on me."

They placed my arm over their shoulder, an arm snaking around my waist. I did my best to walk and cause them as little trouble as possible but it wasn't much of a help. We hailed for a cab to get us to the hotel. I thought maybe I passed out because the next thing I knew, I was back at the hotel, comfortably laying on my bed.

Sitting up, I looked around the room hoping to see Eren. My face twisted in a frown when I saw nothing. How long would he be gone? I wanted— _needed_ —answers. He's the only one who has it.

The ringing of my phone caught my attention. I took it from the nightstand, thankful that Hange was in their right mind to take my phone out of my pocket. The person who was calling me was Farlan.

Answering the call, Farlan's voice came as soon as I placed my phone next to my ear.

"Hey, Levi."

"Hey, Far. How're you and Iz?"

"We're fine. I could say that Izzy misses you too much already. I miss you too much already," Farlan admitted wistfully.

A small smile appeared on my lips. "Idiot."

What could I say? I'm shit with words.

"Aww, aren't you going to say that you miss me too?" I could almost see the pout Farlan was doing. Sometimes this man acts like a kid.

"Stop it, you know that I do."

"Come on, Levi. Tell me," Farlan pleaded. I rolled my eyes, despite the fact that he wouldn't see it.

"Fine," I relented. "I..."

"You what?"

"Shut up, Far," I sighed, "I miss you, okay? Both you and Iz."

There's a sharp intake of breath and came silence from his side. I could hear nothing but the soft breathing on his side of the call, which worried me.

"Farlan?"

"I'm okay, Levi," Farlan answered, sounding a little breathless. "It just feels so good to hear that. You're adorable, you know that?"

My face flushed, but if it was from embarrassment or anger, I didn't know. "Shut up."

Farlan laughed. "Okay, okay. I have to hang up now. I can't wait for you to come back."

"Me too. I'll be there in a little more than a week. It wouldn't be that long."

"I know. I just can't wait to see you again. I love you, Levi. Good night."

I nodded. "I know. Good night, Far." Then he ended the call.

I sat there, pondering over my thoughts about Farlan when I realized something.

I still smelled of alcohol. I cringed at the thought that I slept on the bed smelling like this. Getting off the bed, I fetched my clothes and headed for a quick shower, using the wall to support myself from the sudden bouts of dizziness that hit me. I was careful to dress myself and towel dried my hair a little before leaving the bathroom.

The sight that I saw was something that I didn't expect to see. On his bed was Eren, looking a little out of it, staring off into space unblinkingly. His face was holding nothing but a blank look, his turquoise eyes dull.

"Eren?"

The dizziness I was feeling disappeared as I took in his appearance. What happened to him? This was the worst I saw of him.

"Eren," I called again when he didn't look at me. Carefully threading the floor, I made myself look as harmless as I could. "Are you okay?"

The only movement he made was turn his head to look at me. The way he looked at me was unnerving, the way his eyes seemed to look past through me, hollow and cold.

I sat down on his bed, not daring to break our gazes. Reaching for his hand, I let mine linger on top of his, lightly squeezing it.

"Eren, I know that you're troubled," I glued my eyes to our hands, my hand starting to trace circles on the back of his, "you know that you can talk to me, right? You don't have to tell me everything, but you need to let things out. You can only take so much."

"Levi..."

"Wha—"

Eren pulled my arm, pushing my upper body down on his bed before he pinned my arms with his hands. My eyes widened at the action. What the fuck was he doing?

"Eren, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

He didn't answer. He started leaning in, his face getting closer, closer, closer, until I could feel his hot breath against my face.

"Levi..." he whispered, eyes shifting between my eyes and lips.

Shit, this wasn't fucking good. He needed to get off me.

I tried pushing him away, but he kept his strong hold on me. It was like he couldn't hear me, lost in a trance he trapped himself into.

"Eren, get the fuck off me." I did my best to sound as unaffected as I could, but it didn't work out.

He buried his face in my neck, sending cold chills through my spine. Mouth against my neck, he started leaving soft kisses. I put on more effort in trying to get him off.

It's futile. My body was tired and I could still feel the effects of alcohol lingering. I couldn't even fuckinh budge him.

When he started sucking on my neck, an unbidden whimper escaped my lips.

"Eren, please..."

Eren jumped away from me like he was shocked. There was a bewildered look on his widened eyes, his face slowly turning pale.

"Argh!" He buried his face in his knees, fingers weaving through his hair before harshly tugging on it. "I'm sorry, Levi, I didn't mean it."

"Eren, it's okay, I don't—"

He shot up on his feet, eyes burning in anger, but the emotion wasn't directed at me but himself.

"It's not okay, Levi! I—I almost assaulted you and you're saying that it's okay?"

I crawled on the bed to get close to him. His body went rigid as I drew closer, keeping his fisted hands on his side.

"It's not okay, but I know that you were troubled enough as it is." I met his gaze, but he didn't hold it long. He cast his eyes aside. "But if you really want me to forgive you, then you would talk about what's troubling you. And no, I won't take no for an answer."

He watched me for a minute, his eyes drawn together as he pondered on his thoughts, his reluctance evident on his face. Then he sighed, the tension in his muscles leaving him.

"I don't want to talk about it 'cause it may ruin whatever we have now. I don't want that to happen, not after how long I've waited for us to be okay."

It has been so long since I've seen him this vulnerable and it caused my stomach to twist. What was it that he was too scared to say?

When I looked into his eyes, it was full of hurt, of longing, of defeat. Tears were glossed over his turquoise eyes, threatening to fall.

"I don't want you to run away..."

A sword stabbed itself in my chest and I didn't try to stop the bleeding. The pain traveled to every fiber of my being.

"I won't run away, Eren. Not when you're like this. Not when you need someone."

Maybe he didn't even realize that he was already crying. It traveled down his face and left streaks on his cheeks, a sad smile stretching his lips.

"But you already did before."

His words echoed inside me, shattering whatever fantasy I built of how Eren's life has been in my mind. All the defenses and pretenses he has collapsed, truly showing me what man he has became.

He became a broken man.

Maybe I lost my fucking mind in the pain his betrayal caused me that I thought he lived the next five years of his life happily, while I lived in grief. I thought that he was okay because he still has someone for him, while I had nothing but my mother, who also inevitably left me. I never thought that maybe Eren has been hurting too, that he was grieving too, that maybe he also realized what he lost.

Now that it came crashing on me, I felt guilty and ashamed.

"I didn't mean any of it, Levi. I never wanted to hurt you. Gods, the only fucking thing that I wanted to do was to spare you from the pain."

I couldn't speak. A lump formed in my throat, all the words I knew left me. I could do nothing but to stare at him as he slowly sat on my bed, defeated.

He was going to let me know about everything.

"I tried to fight for you, but what could I do? I was young. What do I have against some well-off man? Against my own father? The reason I stayed away and became cold to you was because I was trying to get used to a life without you. I was trying to make you get used to a life without me.

"But you kept coming for me and it killed me. I hate the thought of hurting you, but there was nothing I could do. I thought that it was better if you would hate me, because it would be easier for you to forget about me. So I did what I did. I set up with Annie so you could see it. I want you to be angry with me. But I swear that nothing about what you saw was true."

My mind was spinning with the information he was throwing at me. This was what I wanted to know for years now, but now that it was in front of me, I felt terrified. It would destroy whatever I conjured as him, the him that helped me became better, the him that I hated.

But he deserved to have his side heard.

"My father—Grisha, he became addicted to gambling. He spent most of our money for his addiction, while I could do nothing about it. Next thing I knew, he lost his share of the hospital. He didn't tell my mother about it. After all, the hospital used to be my grandparents' before they passed it down to them. He knew that Mama would be mad at him.

"He asked Mr. Leonhart for help. He agreed. My father got our share back, but I lost something. I lost the only thing that I wanted the most. I lost you, Levi.

"In exchange for the share, I had to be with Annie until we're old enough to marry. Of course I didn't agree. Who the fuck did he think he was? Him and his fucked up gambling was the reason why things turned to shit, so why am I the one who has to suffer? But whenever the thought of losing the hospital enters my mind, I couldn't bare it. My mother held the hospital dear to her. She couldn't lose it.

"I had to agree, Levi. I had to let go of you, of my life, of any decision that I had over my future. The only reason why I pursued acting was because it was the only thing I had for myself, the only thing that reminds me of you no matter how painful it was.

"Now Grisha was pressuring me to propose to Annie. Her father was getting restless. He wasn't satisfied with what I have with Annie. He needs the assurance that I would fulfill my role. I'm doing my best to drag it longer, but it wouldn't be too long before her father threatens us."

All the air in my lungs escaped my body. I was suffocating, my heart thundering inside my chest. Now it all made sense. I knew that Eren would never hurt me on purpose. He loved me too much to do that.

But somehow, the truth was a harder pill to swallow than the lies I fed myself with before. Eren lived his life miserably all these years, with no one to run to and found solace in, not even his mother. He had to act strong and take on the debt his father has by having his own life altered by someone else. In my case, I found some great people to keep.

But Eren, he has been all alone.

"Annie is a great person. Under her cold exterior, she was caring. Kinda like you, so she reminded me of you. She was with me during my worst times, even though I pushed her away again and again. I fell for her, but I realized something."

Eren looked into my eyes before it searched my face. He already stopped crying as he talked, leaving tear streaks on his face. Despite it, he still looked beautiful.

Then he smiled at me lovingly, just like he did before, when we were still together.

"I couldn't give her my all, because a part of me was missing. And that part of me was with you. I loved you more than life itself. I didn't think that it was possible to love someone that much, but I did. And I could never love anyone as much as I loved you."

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried to speak. I couldn't get anything out except for his name.

The way he looked at me, like I was the only thing he ever wanted, the only thing he ever needed, made my heart pound like it was trying to get out of its confines. The hand touching my face, wiping the tears that was flowing out of my eyes, was so soft, as if I was a porcelain doll he was afraid to break. It stirred the feelings from the past I buried deep down, but I couldn't let that happen.

Things wouldn't work out for us. Hoping for it to happen would be like hoping to catch the stars in your hand, or hoping not get eaten by flames if you get too close to the sun. He already has Annie and I have Farlan.

Even if the amount of love we had for each other was greater than the universe and surpasses everything unimaginable, we were still held down by reality. A reality that kept on tearing and wearing us down. A cruel and unjust reality that wrecks havoc to separate two hearts.

Just because it happened, it didn't mean that it'll last. What we had was great, but it has reached its 'The End'. Another story of lovers who weren't meant to be.

"I regret hurting you, but I hope that you understand why I did it. I'm not hoping for anything but your forgiveness. You're the only good thing I have in my life, Levi.

"I know that things wouldn't work out. I have to face the music and accept what my life is and will be. However, I want you to know one thing."

He cupped my face in his hands tenderly before he leaned in. A chaste, loving kiss was left on my forehead and I had to close my eyes to relish it. But the kiss, it felt like the end.

"If there's one thing I did that I would be forever thankful for was giving myself to you. Whatever part of me left in you, I hope that you'll take care of it, because it'll be the only part of me that'll be happy."

The kiss felt like the end because it _was_ the end. Where every loose strings came together, where every shade has been shed with light. This was the official end of our tale.

The same loving look was still on his face and it burned me inside. If only it would last a lifetime, if only we didn't have to live and escape reality.

It was only wishful thinking. We had to endure the painful reality, because living in this fantasy will be nothing but a broken act, an act that the past us would be willing to do even after the curtains closed. We had to accept our fate no matter how bitter it was.

But as I look at his face, I guessed that it was worth it. We had our shot, and I'm glad that we were even given a chance.

"Nothing made me happy as much as loving you did, Levi."

I could admit that it was the same for me, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, what do you think? I hope I gave it enough justice. Poor Eren :( I'm gonna give my baby a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it.
> 
> Please, tell me your thoughts! I live for it <3


	22. Act XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi took a tour around the town. Some surprises happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so after what happened in the last chapter, I decided to give you guys a break. This will be chill and laid back, with no heartaches.
> 
> Also, I love your reactions last chapter. It made me really, really glad. To all of you who reads, leaves a kudos or comment/s, I love you.
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Hurry up, you slowpoke. For someone as tall as you, I wouldn’t imagine that you would walk like a fucking snail.”

 

“It wasn’t my fault that you walk too fast for someone as short as you—“ Halting my steps, I turned around to face him, punching his arm lightly as soon as he was a step away from me, causing him to wince from the impact. “Ouch! Hey, what was that for?”

 

Annoyed, I huffed out a breath before I turned on my heels and walked away, ignoring his question and insistent calls.

 

To be honest, this day was turning out to be great. If I were to choose, I would say that this has been the most laidback day that I spent with Eren ever since we worked together again. Erwin gave all of us a free day, much to the staffs’ joy, so we decided to tour around the city again.

 

“Hey, Levi. Come on, don’t be pissed at me. You knew that I was only joking.” Eren, who finally decided to catch up to my phase, walked beside me and started poking my sides. “You knew that I would never intentionally call you short—“

 

“Excuse me? You wouldn’t call me short _intentionally_ , but I sure as fuck know that you saying it in a slip of a tongue is more of a guarantee that you fucking mean it.” Realizing his mistake, he clamped his mouth shut, teeth biting his bottom lip.

 

You see, I wasn’t really mad at him, but seeing a huge man like him wanting to shit in his pants was an amusing sight that I wouldn’t let pass me by. Eren was so determined not to make this shitty for the both of us. I was only manipulating that fact for my own amusement. A douche move, but it was just as I said. Seeing him in this situation, different from his normally composed demeanor, was an amusing and refreshing sight.

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. But there’s nothing wrong about your height! You’re a cute size, like munchkins, and it really suits you! Trust me; it doesn’t make you look less intimidating. It actually brings a sense of surprise, with how much strength you can hold in your body,” Eren started rambling and I couldn’t lie, I missed this part of him. I could feel a smile tugging the ends of my lips upwards and I tried my best to fight it off. “It’s really nice to know that you could bring a man my size down to the ground and hand them their ass.  feels like I could just ball you up and put you in my pocket.  But you wouldn’t like that, would you? It must be uncomfortable.” Eren stopped talking, a light blush settling on his cheeks. “Fuck, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

 

I couldn’t hold it in. A chuckle slipped past my lips, a look of amusement on my face for him to see. “It’s fine, Eren, I’m not pissed. I appreciated your sentiment, but I would like it if you wouldn’t ball me up and put me in your pocket. Despite my size, I do believe that even I wouldn’t fit in it.”

 

Eren grumbled under his breath, a slight pout on his lips. I shook my head. “Come on, you big baby. Seeing you worked up is funny.”

 

He glared at me, but it wasn’t sharp. “Doesn’t mean that you should make fun of me. I’m trying my best not to ruin this day, y’know?”

 

I reached up, ruffling his hair from what I could reach. Gods, this man was fucking tall. “Fine, fine. Let me make it up to you. Do you wanna grab some drinks?”

 

“Hmm, maybe a large cup of coffee and a slice of cake will do,” he teased with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes at him.

 

“Fine. Now hurry up or I’ll leave your flat ass behind,” I warned before I fasten my pace, leaving Eren spluttering behind me.

 

“You jackass, my ass isn’t flat!”

* * *

 

 

True to my words, Eren and I went to the café that I used to frequent to when I was still living here. The place hasn’t changed, looking the same as it did the year before. The walls were covered in coffee and tea related graffiti, the cream-colored chairs and couches, the wood tables and floor still shiny without any mark of scratch, along with the warm light that gave the place a cozy and homey feel. I felt content as I sipped at my Assam tea, silently watching Eren looked around and took in the place. I could see that he liked the place as much as I did.

“This place looks nice. Really nice.”  There came Eren’s eloquence. He tasted his drink—a concoction of sugar, spice, and everything nice—a drink too sweet that I would only touch it with a ten-feet long pole. His eyes widen, looking up from his cup to me. “This shit tastes great.”

 

“I didn’t know that shit can taste great, but hey, you’re entitled to your own opinion.”

 

Eren rolled his eyes at me, but he was obviously amused. What could I say? I’m fucking charming.

 

“Shut up, Lee. You know what I mean.”

 

“Shut up and eat your food, _Ren._ ”

 

He chuckled before proceeding to eat his slice of cake, red velvet as usual. I also ordered the same dessert, although I knew that no one could best Carla’s recipe.

 

“So, how did you meet Farlan and Isabel?” Eren was watching me as he ate, waiting for me to tell my tale. I swallowed the food I had in my mouth before I started to talk.

 

“I met the two of them here. They worked here in this café and I visited this place almost every day. Isabel was the first one who tried to acquaint herself with me and before I knew it, it became a common occurrence to her to spend her break with me. She introduced me to Farlan, who also became my best friend. Nothing interesting, really.”

 

Eren shook his head, smiling. “Nah. I want to know about what happened to you in the last five years. How was your life, who was your friends, who became your lovers. I just…I don’t want to feel like I’m missing a huge chunk of your life, which I know I do. And I really wanna hear your voice. I probably wouldn’t care if you tell me about the last shit you took, as long as you’re speaking.”

 

I faked a gasp, looking at him incredulously. Eren looked confused.  “You, I didn’t know that you want to know about my vowel movements.”

 

Eren threw his head back, a loud laugh erupting from him, totally shattering the place’s serene atmosphere. I only watched him as he tried to control it, chasing for his breath. Once he was done, he looked at me with a grin on his lips.

 

“I told you, I want to make up for the time I lost.”

 

An idea entered my mind. It wasn’t bad and I thought that Eren might appreciate it, so I gave it a shot. “Eren, what do you think about biking around the town? I could show you some of the places I’ve been to before, as well as its significance to my life.”

 

Never had I seen him nod as fast as this before. “Okay, after we ate, we’ll be going to—“

 

“Excuse me, misters.” Both of us looked up at the person who spoke. He was wearing a white collared shirt under a black apron, showing that he was one of the workers. “I was told to give you two this dessert, as part of our event for couples.”

 

I butted in. “I’m sorry, this was a mistake. We’re not—“

 

Before I could tell him that we’re not lovers, Eren cut me off, reaching out to place his hand on top of mine. He smiled at me sweetly, before setting his eyes on the person. “Thank you, we appreciate it.”

 

The guy beamed at us, nodding happily. “You’re welcome! We wish you two all the best.”

 

“Fucker,” I hissed as soon as the guy was gone. Eren’s saccharine smile was still present on his lips, taking a small portion from the slice of cake (that wasn’t on the menu) before he placed it near my lips.

 

“Open up.”

 

I glared at him. “No.”

 

Being the stubborn bastard that he was, he just pressed it on my lips. With an eyeroll (how many times would I roll my eyes at him), I opened my mouth, the taste of the sweet delicacy bursting in my mouth.

 

“See? That wasn’t so hard.”

 

Eren placed the spoon down and reached out to me, his thumb pressing on my lips before he ran the pad of his finger on the surface. When he leaned back, I asked him, “What the fuck was that for?”

 

He showed me the pad of his thumb, where a smudge of icing was painting his thumb white. “Icing,” he answered, before licking it off. “Hmm, this tastes good.”

 

I ignored him, as well as his actions. I ignored the way my heart was beating too fast, because it was wrong. I ignored the heat on my cheeks because it wasn’t supposed to be there.

 

Most of all, I ignored the fact that Eren’s hand was on mine the whole time, his thumb gently drawing circles on the back on my hand, unknowingly bringing my body his warmth.

 

* * *

 

 

When we’re done with our food, both of us went to where the bike rental was. It was conveniently situated near the café, so we only had to walk for around ten minutes before we got there. The place used to be a garage before they set up the business, the place now brimming with bicycles of all types and sizes. Elizabeth, the old lady who owned the place, was a good woman. Before, whenever I had to rent a bike, I always made sure to talk to her a little.

 

“Come, Eren. We can get going as soon as we have our bikes.”

 

Eren nodded, following me inside. We walked in a narrow isle towards the counter where I knew Elizabeth would be. I saw her sitting, her white hair tied into a bun, her eyes fixated on a book she had in her hands. Noticing our presence she looked up, instantly brightening when she saw me.

 

“Levi! It has been so long since I last saw you.” She stood up and rounded the corner to approach me, pulling me into a tight hug, my nose picking up the scent of her shampoo. I hugged her back just as tightly, returning her smile with a small smile of my own when we broke the contact. “How have you been?”

 

“I’ve been fine. How about you? The business is still going.”

 

“Life’s being good to me, fortunately. Oh Levi, who is this fine young man? Is he your boyfriend?” She was looking past me to look at Eren.

 

I shook my head frantically. “No, he isn’t. Eren, this is Elizabeth, this business’ owner. Elizabeth, this is Eren, my bestfriend.”

 

Elizabeth gave me a knowing look that I promptly ignored. Instead I took Eren’s wrist and pulled him to where I used to pick a bike, pleased to see that everything looks clean and almost brand new.

 

“We replaced some of the bicycles with new ones just a few months ago. All of it are on top condition, so you don’t have anything to worry about,” Elizabeth assured us, closely following us behind.

 

Letting go of Eren’s wrist, I chose which bike I would use, as well as Eren. Soon enough we both had our pick and we proceeded to pay the rent for the whole day.

 

Elizabeth shook her head, a smile still residing on her lips. “It’s fine. Just bring it back before we close up, okay?”

 

“But—“

 

“No buts. Now go, time’s a-wasting.”

 

Bidding her our goodbyes, Eren and I started to bike along. The first stop was at my college university where I finished. We biked around the place as I explained.

 

“I was actually thought of backing out. Just choose another field, far from acting. I thought that maybe I should just forget about it and bury it. But I couldn’t. Acting has always been my passion and my dream, so I went with it. I couldn’t say that I regret it, because I don’t.”

 

Eren was just silently listening, taking in every word. He was looking wistful as he turned his head to observe the place.

 

“I’m glad that you didn’t back out,” he spoke, voice just barely bearable.

 

I knew what he was being glad for. If I really did back out, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t meet him again, wouldn’t work with him again. We wouldn’t get the chance to fix the tangles we had in the past.

 

“I am too.”

 

Next stop was a lake near where I resided here before. It was where I would usually go to whenever I needed a break, whenever I had to take a breather. The place wasn’t really known so the lake was unchanged, not destroyed by human activities.

 

The bright sun was causing the azure water to look like a cluster of diamonds. The grass and trees surrounding the water was so green, the chirping of the birds bringing a sense of calmness and comfort.

 

Eren and I decided to stay for a little while. We used the trees’ shade to protect us from the sun. Both of us were silent, content with each other’s presence. It went on like that until Eren spoke.

 

“You know, I hate the fact that I wasn’t with you when you lost your mom, when you went to pursue your career. I hate the fact that I wasn’t beside you to bring you any comfort when you needed it the most. I hate the fact that you’ve been hurting, and it’s all because me.”

 

I placed my hand on Eren’s thigh, patting it on attempt to reassure him. “It’s fine. You couldn’t help it. What’s important is that we’re here. We’re okay.”

 

He sighed. “I know. It’s just one of my biggest regrets.”

 

I shushed him. “Hush. Regret wouldn’t help you fix anything. It’ll just make you think what ifs, and before you knew it, your present is already lost because you’ve been so caught up in your past.”

 

He shot me thankful look but didn’t say anything else.

 

The next place I took him was the neighborhood where I lived. It was small and rather uneventful, but the neighbors aren’t nosy and the place was usually silent, just like what I wanted. I led him to where our house was located at and we stopped in front of it. It was just a simple white bungalow, with vines growing on one side. It was dainty and homey, but I had to sell it before I moved away.

 

“This is where you lived before?” To answer his question, I nodded. “Is it still yours or…?”

 

“I had to sell it before I moved away. Now it was owned by a couple with a single child. They were great people.” Eren nodded and he didn’t ask any more question. I took in the sight of our old house before we left.

 

Our last stop was the cemetery. Before, visiting her tomb filled me with sadness. However, it brought me nothing but peace now, knowing that she was now at a better place.

 

“Levi, would you mind if I talk to her first?”

 

Even though I was confused as to why he wanted that, I agreed. Muttering a small thanks, he left the bicycle at the space provided and made his way towards where she was resting. He sat on the grass, staring at her tombstone.

 

In that moment, he looked at peace. It was like he was talking to my mother, releasing whatever he had kept hidden in his chest for so long. It pained me to know what he was endured, to know what he has to endure. He was being forced into a situation that he has no say in, and it was taking its toll.

 

I kept my distance, waiting until he was done. I did nothing but watch him, standing next to the bicycles. When he lifted and turned his head to look at me, he waved for me to come.

 

“Thanks for this day, Levi. I really needed it,” he said as soon as I was beside him. I ruffled his hair.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

We sat there for who knows how long, talking about the past, what happened when we were apart. Eren met Mikasa and Jean during college and have been friends ever since. Jean was obviously in love with Mikasa, but Mikasa has been oblivious to it.

 

“I actually told Jean to suck it up and just ask her out. One day he went to me and kissed me on my cheek while saying ‘thank you’ repeatedly. I guessed it work out.”

 

“What about Armin?” I asked him, noticing that he hadn’t even mentioned him once.

 

“Well, you know how much he likes you. When he discovered what happened, he became distant. We still meet with each other to catch up, but there was an obvious distance between us. It hasn’t been like it used to.”

 

It was saddening to hear, but I expected it. Armin has been there to help me prepare for our anniversary, only to console me when I went to him crying.

 

“We should try to see him when we get back. Hopefully, he’ll forgive you. He’s a nice kid and he’s still as nice as before.”

 

Eren smiled. “Yeah, I want to see him.”

 

It was already dark when we decided to leave. After we prayed and bid my mother our goodbye, we went back to Elizabeth to return the bicycles. With that done, we went back to the hotel room to rest for the remaining of the day.

 

As soon as we’re all cleaned up and dressed, we settled down on Eren’s bed, trying to find a show to watch on the television. We settled on watching Ant Man, which is interesting enough to keep me watching.

 

When the telephone rang, Eren was the one who answered. I didn’t really listened to what he was saying. I only registered him asking some questions and sighing, sounding displeased with what the person on the phone told him.

 

“Levi, someone’s looking for me in the lobby.”

 

I tore my eyes away from the screen, regarding his stiff posture. “At this hour? Who is it?”

 

Eren hesitated, before he spouted who it was. “Annie.”

 

I felt my stomach drop. Annie? What was she doing here?

 

“Do you know why?”

 

Eren shook his head. “No,” his voice sounded strained, “I don’t have a fucking clue.”

 

I sat up. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I told him, “Go meet her.”

 

He didn’t move from his spot. He was looking at me with an undecipherable look. I gave him a questioning look. “What?”

 

“You have to go to the lobby too, Levi.”

 

Now THAT was confusing. Why the fuck do I need to go? To watch him welcome her? I wouldn’t do that.

 

“No.”

 

“Levi…”

 

“What? Is there any reason for me to go?”

 

“Yes,” he gritted through clenched teeth. What was up with him?

 

“Why?”

 

Eren regarded me with a defeated look.

 

“Farlan is there waiting for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it's boring, the next chapter will be better.
> 
> Please leave me your thoughts!


	23. Act XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Throughout the rest of the dinner, I spaced out with nothing but a single thought in mind. I supposed that I really shouldn’t be glad for it and I felt guilty for feeling so, but I couldn’t deny that it sent satisfaction through me even though I didn’t mean to.
> 
> And that thought was, No one knew Eren Yeager more than I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh...hi?
> 
> I'm so sorry for not updating for months. I'm trying to untangle my life problems little by little and it leaves me with no motivation or time to do much writing. I feel so bad for leaving this story even though this story is really special to me. Now that I have the day to myself I decided to write a chapter down.
> 
>  
> 
> Please be easy on me. My writing is kinda rusty for my lack of practice. Also this is unedited.
> 
>  
> 
> Please enjoy :)

 

 

I stared at Eren, still processing the words that came out of his mouth. It caught me off guard. I wasn't really surprised to hear that Annie was here, but Farlan? Why would he be here?

  
"Who told you that?" I asked him.

  
"Jean. He saw Annie at the lobby and heard a guy named Farlan asking for you."

  
Eren stood in front of me, his eyes fixated with mine. Confusion was present in those ocean eyes, probably wondering about the same thing as I did. We stayed there for another minute before I stood up.

  
"Maybe we should head out and meet them."

  
Eren followed me without any response. While were walking side by side, the muscles in my body felt stiff. Something I couldn't name filled the air as we made our way to the lobby, making the atmosphere almost uncomfortable. The minutes we took to travel from our shared room to the lobby stretched on to what felt like hours that it was almost a relief when we reached our destination.

  
Seeing Farlan here was the least expected thing I imagined.

  
It wasn't something that I thought of, that he would fly here and see me before I go back. All I could do was stare at Farlan, questions circling through my mind as he smiled at me. He looked delighted to see me, his eyes bright with excitement. I knew that I had to welcome him, to smile back, to say that it was nice to see him after weeks we haven't been together, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just stared at him even as I stood there near him, as if he would disappear any minute from now.

  
Noticing my reaction, Farlan's smile dimmed, his eyebrows furrowing a bit. "Levi? Aren't you glad to see me?"

  
I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. It felt like there's wet cement stuck in my throat, robbing me of my ability to speak. It was obvious that I wasn't being myself. Even Eren looked at me with a worried glance.

  
Why the fuck am I acting like this? I couldn't understand. Shouldn't I be happy to see him here? Then why did I feel like it was wrong?

  
"Lee?" Eren's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. My eyes shifted from Farlan until it landed on him, his eyes filled with worry. "Are you okay?"

  
I did my best to swallow the wet cement stuck in my throat, but it didn't help much. "Yes," I croaked out, but it sounded unsure. I looked at Farlan, trying to muster a smile the best I could. "It's nice to see you, Farlan. You just caught me by surprise."

  
He smiled lightly at me. "Well, that was my intention."

  
I could see the questions practically swimming in his eyes, but he kept it all to himself. Instead he stepped closer and pulled me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me in a tight embrace. My hands stilled at my sides before I reluctantly raised it, hugging him back.

  
"I missed you," he whispered, leaving a kiss on the crown of my head

  
I knew that he did. I could feel it through his embrace, could hear its intensity in his almost breathless whisper. It caused a part inside me to twist without knowing why.

  
"I missed you, too." And yes, despite what my reactions were, I did miss him. However I couldn't help but feel that there was something wrong with him being here. What that something is, I didn't have a clue. I was probably over thinking. I shook the thought off my mind.

  
When we broke the contact, I saw Eren talking with Annie. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I saw the reluctant smile that Eren gave her, watching him lean down hesitantly to place a kiss on her lips. I quickly looked away from them to focus on Farlan.

  
"I thought you have work," I spoke to distract myself. Anything to keep my attention away from the brunet.

  
Farlan once again smiled at me, taking my hand in his grasp. "I do, but I was able to take a leave."

  
I shot him a dirty look. "And you didn't bother to mention it?"

  
He looked sheepish as he replied with, "It was part of the surprise."

  
"What about Iz?"

  
"I told her about it and she was fine with it. Probably agreed just to take me out of her hair."

  
I raised an eyebrow at his statement. "And why's that?"

  
"I couldn't stop talking about you. Maybe she got sick of me."

  
A small smile appeared on my lips and I ruffled his hair. "You're such a dork."

  
He smiled at me and I could swear that it was one of the brightest smile I've ever seen on him. Maybe he really is happy to see me.

  
Too preoccupied with each other, neither of us noticed when Eren made his way to us along with Annie. Our conversation stopped when they already stood beside us, patiently waiting for us to notice them.

  
When I turned my head to look at them, I saw Eren's gaze steadily  upon us, his eyes lingering its contact with mine before he turned to look at Farlan.

 

Farlan glanced at me before he settled his eyes on the blonde woman standing beside Eren. She was wearing a plain white shirt topped with a black leather jacket, skinny jeans, and boots. Her blonde hair was free from its ponytail, her face adorned by its usual bored look.

 

"Levi already knew about her, but I think it would be appropriate to introduce him to you. This is Annie, my girlfriend."

 

 _This is Annie, my girlfriend._ I knew that. I already heard that before. But why was there an unsettling feeling stirring deep within me when those words came out of his lips?

  
No one seemed to notice the shift in my mood. Farlan, being the polite person that he was, extended his hand as he greeted, "I'm Farlan, it's nice to meet you."

  
Grasping the offered hand, Annie shook it firmly. "Likewise."

  
Silence followed after that exchange, no one wanting to speak. It felt like we were waiting for someone to step in but no one wanted to.

 

My eyes met with Eren's own and there was something there that I couldn't lay a finger on. He seemed so intent to keep the contact for as long as possible, but I couldn't do it without revealing the confusion that I was feeling at that moment. So I tore my eyes away from him, keeping it fixated at the floor as I burned under the intensity of his gaze.

 

Probably having enough of it, Farlan draped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him.

  
"It was nice to see you, but we should go and settle down. I had a long day," Farlan spoke as he picked up his bag.

  
Eren nodded, his eyes lingering on the arm around me before he looked down to the woman standing beside him silently. "It's fine, Annie also needs to rest."

  
“We’ll be going then.” With his bag in hand, Farlan took my hand and started walking to where I assumed his room was. I didn’t dare to look back because I knew that if I did, I will be seeing the pair of turquoise eyes that I knew all too well.

 

Neither of us spoke on the way to his room, but I brushed it off as him being tired. Farlan’s movements were a bit sluggish and he looked like he was about to fall asleep from where he was standing when he was unlocking the door. I helped him by taking the bag from his grip and pushed him to the bed to take a rest as I started arranging his clothes in the closet.

 

“Really Levi, it’s fine. I can do that,” Farlan protested while I place his shirt on one of the layers inside the closet. I paused from my work and turned to look at him, giving him a stern stare.

 

“Just shut the fuck up and rest, Farlan. I’ll handle this.”

 

A sigh came out of his lips, knowing that there was nothing he could do. He sat at the edge of the bed and leaned his elbow on his thigh, propping his chin at the palm of his right hand. He then looked at me fondly with a smile on his face.

 

“You really are so motherly, Levi.”

 

I rolled my eyes at the comment, taking one of his shirt and crumpling it into a ball before I threw it to his face. “Shut up, bastard.”

 

He didn’t say anything after that, letting me work and finish unpacking his belongings in silence. When I stood up I wasn’t prepared for the pair of hands immediately circling around my waist. The contact made me flinch and tense up. Then the familiar scent wafted into my system and I slowly relaxed, but not totally.

 

“I missed you,” Farlan whispered, burying his face into the crook of my neck. “God, I really did.”

 

“It’s fine now.” I placed one of my hand on top of his squeezing it comfortably. “You’re with me again.”

 

“Mhmm, I do.” Farlan started leaving soft kisses on my neck, trailing its way up to my jaw. The action was so unexpected that I could only breathe out a sharp gasp.

 

I felt Farlan’s hands move to my hips, holding it firmly as he left more kisses on the expanse of my skin. Should I push him away? Should I tell him stop? I knew that I fucking wanted to, knew that I wasn’t goddamn prepared for what he was doing, but my body felt stiff as a log. I haven’t done anything remotely sexual with anyone but Eren. This has became unfamiliar to me. I couldn’t do anything but tightly close my eyes and hope that Farlan would notice my reactions.

 

But he went on. He turned me around and caged me against the door of the closet. I still kept my eyes shut closed as Farlan started kissing my neck once again. I wanted to push him, but I couldn’t do it. What if I hurt him from doing so?

 

Fuck this can’t be happening.

 

Farlan broke contact with me and pulled away. He was still caging me in and I still haven’t opened my eyes. I did my best to keep my breathing controlled and waited for him to get out of my personal space but he didn’t.

 

Instead he asked, “Levi, may I kiss you?”

 

That was what caused me to open my eyes. Then I saw the look on his face.

 

He looked desperate. I rarely saw this expression of his, but I knew that I saw it before. It was when we had a fight because of my past. Because of Eren. Farlan only wore this expression when Eren was involved.

 

However, I couldn’t fucking understand why he’s acting like this now. Didn’t I make it clear? Eren and I… we’re done. Everything about us and what we shared were in the past. Now, the person that I had my focus on was him. The person that I was learning how to love was him. So why?

 

Suddenly, Farlan seemed to snap back to his usual self. He stepped back away from me like he was burnt from our contact and sat back down on the bed with a horrified look on his face.

 

“FUCK!” he exclaimed, the expression still on his face. “I can’t believe I did that!” Farlan stood up and approached me, keeping a safe distance between us. “Levi, I’m sorry. It was a mistake. I swear, I’ll never do anything against your will. I just got carried away by my feelings.”

 

“It’s fine. I know you’re tired.” A sigh escaped my lips. My body suddenly felt tired. My muscles were heavy and all I wanna do is to rest.

 

Farlan walked closer and reached for my arm, vigilantly watching for any negative reaction. When he didn’t see one he proceeded to hug me, but he didn’t receive any response from me.

 

“Is it okay for you to stay the night?”

 

I shook my head. I guessed that I would probably be alone in our shared room now that Eren’s lover was here, yet I didn’t care. “No, I need to be there for our shoot tomorrow.”

 

Farlan hugged me tighter before he let go. His eyes were dark with shame and I had to quickly look away. I couldn’t seem to forget the frenzied look he wore earlier.

 

“Good night, Farlan. Rest well.”

 

Then I quickly left.

 

*****

 

The last thing I expected to happen when I reached our hotel room was to find the door unlocked and see Eren inside, waiting for me exactly at his spot from where we lay next to each other before Annie and Farlan’s arrival. It left me standing by the door with my mouth open in confusion. It must’ve been a funny sight, considering the fact that Eren laughed as soon as he saw my reaction, the low timbre of his voice resonating through the room.

 

“Wait—what’re you doing here?”

 

“Close the door and come lay here already. The movie’s waiting for us,” he said invitingly, obviously avoiding acknowledging the question that my face has already portrayed.

 

I did what he first asked, but I didn’t lay down. I just stood there a few feet away from the bed, my arms crossed as I waited for him to answer. It took a minute before he looked at me and sighed, knowing that I wouldn’t do anything but stand there no matter how long it would take until he answered my question.

 

“I wouldn’t stay with Annie. I’m here for work and to escape from the hell of a life I have. And I also want to spend as much time as I can with you. So now that you’re also here, let’s continue where we left off earlier okay?”

 

I nodded. There was no reason for me not to say yes.

 

After settling comfortably on the bed, Eren played the movie that we planned to watch. However the weariness in my bones are pulling my eyes closed, my consciousness slowly slipping away from me as I fell into slumber.

The last thing I heard before I completely succumb to sleep was Eren, whispering softly in an assuring manner. “It’s okay, Lee. You can rest now. Good night.”

 

And even in my sleep, I can feel his voice lulling me softly.

 

*****

 

“That’s it for today. Good job, everyone. We only have a few days left here, so let’s do our best.” Erwin dismissed us before he went to check on the clips that we finished today. The staffs worked straight to pack everything that we wouldn’t need for tomorrow. I weaved through the flurry of people to go to Christa and have her help me get rid of the minimal makeup I had on my face.

 

Eren was already done when I got to the dressing room. From what he said earlier he and Annie has plans to go around the town today. He greeted me and spared some time to talk to me before he has to go out, making sure to tell me that he’ll still be staying in our shared room tonight.

 

Having that thought calmed the storm that seemed to be brewing inside me.

 

Christa, being the sweet thing that she was, complimented and encouraged me about my work. It was really nice of her and I always thanked her for that.

 

“LEVI!” A voice suddenly boomed piercing through the pleasant silence in the room, completely shattering it. Through the reflection of the mirror I saw Hange entered the room. “Levi, there you are!”

 

“Can’t you speak normally, Shitty Glasses? My fucking eardrums are suffering whenever you’re around.”

 

Hange sat on seat where Eren would usually sit. I already told them the improvement between Eren and I and they couldn’t be happier. They understood where Eren was coming from, understood the burden that he has to face. As long as I am happy, then they also will be, Hange said.

 

“Farlan is asking for you. He asked me if I want to hang around with you two around the town and—“

 

I cut them off. “Please fucking tell me you said no.”

 

Hange cackled, the sound causing me to cringe. It fucking hurts my ears. “Of course I said yes, you grump.”

 

I scowled at them. “Fuck off, don’t ruin my day Hange.”

 

They clicked their tongue against their tongue. “I know that you wanted to spend time with Lover Boy, but he offered me to come. Who am I to refuse such a generous offer?”

 

From the way their eyes lit up and the smile that was bordering manic, I knew that it wasn’t a good idea. But there was nothing I could do. Hange was more stubborn than a fucking bull.

 

*****

 

“Levi, where do you think we should head to first?”

 

Farlan seemed to be excited to be back here. I wouldn’t blame here, his roots were here. He spent most of his life in this place and being away from here must’ve bring so much nostalgia that he’s back, even just for the mean time.

 

“You decide,” I replied. I’ve been around the town with Eren so I wasn’t really excited to visit places again.

 

“Let’s go to the beach first then have something to eat.”

 

Hange and I decided to go along his plan. Hange was a really talkative person and conversations between us has always been one-sided, but Farlan was kind enough to talk to them. I was silent the whole time, only speaking whenever I was addressed.

 

“Wait, isn’t that Eren? And his girlfriend is with him!” I stopped walking and looked back to where Hange stopped before turning my gaze towards where they were pointing and sure enough, I saw Eren walking with Annie. “Eren!”

 

“Fuck, shut up Hange!” I hissed, hurriedly closing on on them before I pulled their arm. Farlan was staring at the two with a blank look on his face. “Can’t you fucking see? He’s with Annie! Don’t fucking disturb them, you fucking lunatic!”

 

Much to my dismay, Eren already noticed. He looked towards our direction and immediately recognized us. After speaking some words to Annie they were already making their way to us.

 

“Look at what you fucking did, you shit. I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

 

Undeterred, they just smiled at me before pulling their arm from my grip and making their way to Eren.

 

Shaking my head, I went back to Farlan and left Hange to talk with Eren. “I’m sorry about that. You know how Hange is.”

 

Farlan shook his head and mustered a smile. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

 

“Levi!” Hange called.

 

I looked at them with a scowl on my face, which was immediately gone when I saw them bringing Eren and Annie with them. What the actual fuck is wrong with them?

 

“I asked Eren and Annie to go with us. They said yes!”

 

I looked at Hange like they were crazy. Fuck, they _were_ crazy. What the fuck did they think they’re doing?

 

I grabbed Hange’s arm. “Hange, no. They’re here to spend their time together. Alone. So stop it!”

 

“It’s fine, Lee.” My head whipped to look at Eren who was smiling at me reassuringly. “It’s okay, we want to.”

 

I looked at Annie who was still looking blank as ever, but she nodded.

 

“Okay then, that’s settled. Let’s get going now, chop chop!”

 

Eren and Annie started following Hange who were already ahead of us. I could only sigh and shake my head in disappointment.

 

“I’m sorry about that, Farlan.”

 

Farlan shook his head and took my hand. “It’s okay. As long as I’m with you.”

 

I just offered him a small, consoling smile in return.

 

We walked around the place that way, with Hange talking with Eren and Annie as we follow them around. Almost thirty minutes has passed when we decided to eat since the sun is already setting. After we decided where to go, we made our way to the place by foot.

 

The place was the same from when Eren and I ate together. We gathered and sat around one table, ordered our foods and talked amongst each other as we waited, with Hange making almost all the noise. Which, again, wasn’t surprising.

 

What was surprising was how close Hange and Eren seemed to get. I didn’t know what happened, but they were. I didn’t know what to think of it.

 

The food was delicious. We were served fresh seafood which is something that I actually love. Farlan shared some of his food to me and I did the same, noticing that Eren and Annie also doing the same. The bitter feeling inside me acted up again, but I pushed it even further than before. It has no place here.

 

“Are you okay, Levi?” Farlan asked out of nowhere in a whisper. Not trusting my mouth, I just nodded in reply.

 

After we finished our food, the dessert was served. Farlan and I ordered the same thing so there was no point in sharing. I couldn’t help but sneak glances at the other couple who was silently eating in front me. They chose different desserts so Annie still decided to share some of her own to Eren. However as I watched them, I noticed something.

 

“Wait.”

 

The word was out of my mouth before I could even think. Everyone in the table looked at me in confusion. Ignoring it, I decided to go straight to the point.

 

“Annie, that dessert has cinnamon. Eren’s allergic to it.”

 

Annie quickly understood what I said and dropped her spoon to the dish. Something other than the usual stoic look was present on her face. It was shame.

 

Didn’t she know about it? They’ve been together for so long. How could she not know about it?

 

“I’m sorry. I…didn’t know about that.”

 

I didn’t know how to react to that. With everyone’s silence, I guess the other also didn’t.

 

“Okay, okay. Well, at least now you know and you won’t make the same mistake again!” This was one of the few times I was thankful for Hange’s blabbering mouth. “It’s fine, sometimes no matter how long we think we know a person, we really cannot be sure. So let’s just proceed like nothing happened.”

 

I tried to keep the thought away by focusing on what Hange was talking about yet I failed. My mind kept on drifting back to what happened. Didn’t Annie know much about Eren? Didn’t Eren let Annie in on everything she can know?

 

He loves her, didn’t he? So…why?

 

Throughout the rest of the dinner, I spaced out with nothing but a single thought in mind. I supposed that I really shouldn’t be glad for it and I felt guilty for feeling so, but I couldn’t deny that it sent satisfaction through me even though I didn’t mean to.

 

And that thought was, _No one knew Eren Yeager more than I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the next chapter will be finished soon and not as long as this one did. I apologize. Please let me hear your thoughts! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me your thoughts. It fuels me.


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